Proud
You guys are going to be so proud of me!
Beamed the little lady at us as she burst into the living room.
I looked at the good lady and raised an eyebrow in amusement as if I was stroking a lemur.
Why is that my little poppatop?
I said cheerily. After all, this was Sunday, I had a coffee in my hand and bizarrely, did not seem in the slightest bit hungover.
Well...
Said the little lady, striking her very best story-telling pose.
You know we are always proud of you my little poop-scoop!
I interrupted her warmly, sharing a fond glance with the good lady. Sometimes it was moments like this that family life just had that certain pizazz... That certain magic that it is all too easy to forget when you are up to our eyes in shit or sleep deprivation.
The little lady gestured grandly out with a hand, then wrinkled her nose slightly at a smeary something on a couple of her fingers. She pulled that hand back and wiped it unsuccessfully on her skirt.
Well... I was in the toilet and everything was normal except that poo got on the floor. So at first I panicked and ran about... Then I realised, If I clean it I would make you both very proud!
She grinned at us ever so proudly.
How did you get a little bit of poo on the floor lass?
Said I, the tensed-up-belly feeling of parenthood that had not been in hiding that morning coming back with a vengeance.
Oh, I am really not sure. But don't worry. It took a bit of effort but I managed to use the bath mat to get the worst of it off the floor. It ended up being really stinky so I threw it in the bath. But then I noticed I had stood in it as well and tried to get it off but it wasn't coming off so I used the face-cloth to clean myself.
The good lady was snorfling with laughter. I joined in. Then I stopped.
Wait, you used the bath mat and a face-cloth?
Yes! And it is all so wonderfully clean! Aren't you proud!
Of course darling, we are very proud.
I gave her a quick hug and trotted upstairs to check the damage. On opening the toilet door I nearly fell over. It looked like a Racoon had had a shit-throwing party in there.
Sometime later, I descended the stairs. The waft of cleaning chemicals heavy about me.
The family looked up as I returned.
Are you ever so proud of me Daddy?
The little lady yodelled.
I somehow managed to keep my eyes from rolling.
Yes darling. I am so amazingly proud.
I might have been a tad prouder if I hadn't had to spend twenty minutes cleaning up what appeared to be a carpet shit-bombing but hey, I was proud... Kind of.
Sigh.
She is such a little problem solver hahha - just a pity that 'clean' has so many different meanings, but at least she did something and did not wait for her parents to sort it out like so many kids, so you be proud daddy.
I am!! Hehe, she did do her best which is a fantastic thing!
@meesterboom hello dear friend, I should be very proud of the little lady, has a lot of encouragement, another child would have left everything where it was, do not you think? the intention is what is worth.
I wish you a prosperous week dear friend
Yes indeed. We were proud of her and amused!!
You should have said, "Well, poppet, now we shall teach you a new happy life lesson so you can be a big girl" Grinning at this point, maybe with just a hint of malice, never too soon to teach malice, "Come along sweeting, now we shall learn the game of 'cleaning with scrub brush and cleaner" It's never too early to teach them things, is it?
I suppose it's probably good that I am not in charge of any children. Those who I have not spawned are probably happy to be in the cabbage patch and not in my charge. :)
Hahaha! She is too clever, she would tell me to beat it! But I do agree, it's never too early to teach a bit of malice!!!
She'll probably be an artist someday.
Haha, I have no doubt!
I thought the good lady really "clean" up the mess inside the toilet but alas you must work even harder to solve the problem. It was fortunate that it was a Sunday not any day where it will add to your tiredness when you are working. Upvoted!
It seemed worse because Sunday is meant to be a lazy day!!
haha! sir meesterboom! The little lady is already a quick thinking and creative little one like her dad, no wonder you're so proud!
I am indeed, she is fast on her feet, a wee smasher!
lol. oh my gosh if she starts writing and telling stories the world will never be the same! I don't think it could handle two booms!
Lol, it would be a frightening thing!!!
Hahaha. This story should be told to teenagers in sex-ed classes throughout the lands as a cautionary tale of what happens when you don't practice safe sex.
Also, are you one of those weird Brits with carpet in the bathroom? I will never understand that.
No!!! No!
Who the funk would have carpet in the pish-house!?! That is utter madness!!! It is lino all the way!!
Both flats I lived in in Aberdeen had carpeted bathrooms. Actually, the un-reno'ed bathroom in my friend's house I stayed in last year also had carpet. But not their main bathroom which was shiny and new and tiled.
Eeewwwwww. Can you imagine it. The foosty buildup of years of splashes and stuff. Yuk!
Aberdonians though, makes sense.. :0D
So this is what I’ve to look forward to! The auntie saw chocolate on her toddlers hands one day after she gave him some Cadbury’s . She sucked it off his fingers because she had no wipes to hand . She realised it wasn’t chocolate on the third finger !
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Aaaahh, never go near a third finger. It's an unwritten rule... :0D
that girl is smart as a whip! She masterfully prevented a huge scolding!
She did and she was so ridiculously proud. I still haven't really gotten to the how of what happened!
heh! heh! I was reminded of an incident many years ago, our oldest child was being babysat by my dear departed grandma. We had some function to go to... it slips my mind what. We arrived home to a very panicked elderly woman. She was crying and laughing at the same time. apparently she had went to check on the little tyke, and he was standing in his crib with what appeared to "spots" all over him. She had first thought he had the measles, but on further inspection, he had painted himself, and the nearby walls with the "contents" of his dirty diaper! Talk about being "shitfaced"! Wow!
It's incredible how they love the spectacle!! My daughter when she was really young, once held something out to me in the bath and not thinking I sent to take it off her before revoking at the big Cuban cigar that it read!! Madness!!