ManJeena

Daddy, are you almost ready? We are leaving in five minutes...

I bounded into the living room, fully dressed and washed. A wicked smile on my face.

Of course my sweet potato pie! Did you think I was lying, bathed in my own kebab sweat pleading for the gods to hasten me away?

She looked at me suspiciously.

Everything is packed up. Just got to stick it in the car. I will round up the kids if you can do that?

I chuckled, the way that Kings do when their manservant has to wipe a particularly viscous shit from their Kingly arse.

The good lady went out of the room. I waited for a second, then, when convinced she was gone slumped against a chair and held on whilst the room cavorted around in circles.

Oh sweet jeebus, I was as rough as a badgers chuff!! After my small beer tasting last night I had convinced myself that the party was only just getting started and had several more. Then one or two more. Then another.

And now I was here, clutching onto the couch like it was a life raft in a stormy sea. It was half past eight in the morning. The plan being to go to IKEA and buy random bits of wood and things named streum or laiva.

Is that the car loaded?

Bellowed the good lady sweetly.

I'm on it sweetcheeks!

I yelled, hoping against hope that my voice sounded like a cheery pirate Captain about to squibble the giblets from someone.

I took the stuff by the door out to the car. It was sunny as fuck outside causing me to squint and tremble like a shaved hamster on the second insertion.

The little lady skipped out of the house and stopped at the sight of me leaning on the car whimpering.

Daddy, stop being such a ManJeena!!!

I pulled myself upright.

Pardon young lady?

I said as sternly as I could.

She giggled and skipped around me singing about Georgie Porgie pudding and pie. It was making me quite dizzy. I must have misheard?

I opened the door for her and helped her buckle up into her seat. The good lady came out with the little boom and we all got in.

I put my hands on the wheel and called out cheerily out the family.

Are we ready then!

The good lady peered at me.

More pertinently Daddy, are you ready?

I guffawed whilst crying on the inside.

I'm like a dragon pup! Born ready!

Hmm.

The good lady wasn't convinced.

I took a deep breath and turned the key in the ignition. The car started. I let out an involuntary sigh.

From the back the little lady kicked my seat.

Come on Daddy, don't be such a ManJeena!!

I turned slowly to the good lady.

I wonder where she learned that word?

The good lady snorted, trying not to laugh. Hmm, I had a feeling I knew the answer to my question...