Dry Run

I think we should have a dry run.

Stated the good lady.

Really? Heck, you know me lass. I am game.

I started wrestling with the belt of my jeans and like a prize gymnast managed to flick off both of my shoes. The good lady glared at me.

A. Dry. Run. A practice, you know. For when we have to go to hospital?

Ah, my mistake. I ferreted around the room picking up the discarded clothing I had managed to remove in three seconds. The good lady started listing things that we needed to take with us in our hospital bag. I listened intently. Well, it might be safer to say fearfully, given that she is more ready to burst than an over-ripe melon.

Three ginger tea?

What the blazes did she want three ginger tea for?

Yes. It is very calming and restorative.

Hmm. I didn't dare disagree. Instead, I wandered about collecting various items she listed like an adventurer on a fantasy quest. As the bag got more and more full I couldn't help but query the sheer volume of stuff we were taking.

Erm, we have quite a lot. I mean, it's not that far. Shouldn't we, you know. Travel light?

No, I want to be prepared for the worst.

I made a poo poo-ing motion with my hand,.

Baby, the worst that is going to happen is that the contractions come on at the speed of light and I have to hand deliver this little critter myself. With these hands.

I held my hands up in awe looking at them. Already they had an aura taking shape around them.

The givers of life.

I whispered.

You are not delivering the baby. The baby is being delivered in the hospital.

She seemed quite determined.

But lass. Remember our old cat? I helped her with her 7 kittens! In fact there was that one she left for dead that I slapped on the back and pulled the mook out of its mouth and it came to life. Remember, we called him Ranje!

I looked down at my hands again, they seemed to be glowing from within.

The givers of life!

Don't forget the TENS machine either. Make sure its on the top of the bag. Actually, did you switch it on like I asked to make sure it worked?

I didn't answer. I was too busy reading the lines in my palms, trying to see what they told me.

Hey! Did you try out the TENS machine to make sure it worked?

I snapped out of my life giving reverie and looked toward her.

Oh yeah, don't worry. It definitely works.

I smirked at this and then gave an involuntary wink.

Oh god, what did you do?

I feigned hurt. What did she mean what did I do? She had such a low opinion of me at times.

I tried them out just like you asked. They work, like little electric shock sort of vibrations. Quite pleasant actually.

Where did you attach the pads?

She said this with a weary tone of resignation. I think she already knew the answer. I smiled warmly at her and gathered her up in my arms for a big hug.

We're having a baby in a day or so lass, what does it matter. Don't worry though. I'll put fresh pads on.

Over her shoulders I looked admiringly at my hands. I smiled and whispered once more.

Givers of life.