Saturday!!! And that puts me right in the mood for a good old Black Mass!!

A bloody Black mass, you cry?! But we don't want eternal damnation!!

Well, don't worry my trusty young beer-o-nauts! I'm not asking anyone to take a grumpkin for the team. Well, I will, if no one is willing. But that's me all over. Generous to a fault.

We're going back down the dark path this week. Whilst outside the wind blows and snow attempts to raggedly flutter out of leaden skies, inside, we're getting roasted!

And no, not over a devil's spit!

We are back in the land of the dark beers.

Not just any old dark beers either. I have a Stout and a Porter both of them steeped in evil. EVIL I TELLS YA!

Ok, maybe not evil. But both of them are brewed with cold steeped coffee. And if there is one thing I love more than a good old beer, it's a good old coffee beer.

So let us get started on this night of darkness and skullduggery.

Cold-blooded. A fine name for a beer. Or an assassin. Or a crocodile. Or even a man married to a wife with too many shoes.

But in this case, it's a chocolatey porter steeped overnight in cold-brewed coffee or some such nonsense.

I like the sound of it. Maybe it will drive me bat-shit crazy and I will find myself in someone's garden making snow angels and they will come out and scream There's not even any SNOW?!?!

But enough snash. Let's taste!

This is a frothy wee lad. Fizzy almost, surprisingly pale verging on the dark dark brown rather than black. Maybe it is the coffee! Woot woot, fingers crossed for that!

I mean come on. It has everything going for it and then somehow sneaks sawdust into the mix or some other mouth-drying tosh? I feel cheated and bummed. Although bummed in the American respect and not the Scottish one which is quite different and not something you would go around claiming.

5/10 booms.

NEXT!

The Black Mass that we have all been fearing!

I must say it is a fine-looking can, brooding and black with the evil that is to come. I can see things in the can design. Disturbing things!

Quick, Let's get it out of those metal clothes.

Now unlike the Cold Blooded, this one is damned black. Like the strange hell muck you would find under a demon's fingernails after it had been rooting around in someone's back bin.

Dirty demons.

Let's get some Black Mass Effect on the go!

This stuff is the dog's biscuits. It's flipping lovely. The coffee is there alright but its mellow and slightly brown sugar sweet and not in a Heroin way.

It is like my very own little demonic Pokemon. Get in! 9/10 booms!!

Raar!!! A fine week for both the coffee and the beer! Hurrah.

Have a great extra day leap year bonus everyone...

Cheers!