Cumaná (English sonnet) - Day 99 - Steemit School Poetry 100 Days of Poetry Challenge
Hello!
I’ve made it to Day 99. And this is the 89th piece I compose for the Steemit School Poetry 100-Day Challenge by @d-pend. I'm excited and left with a mixture of accomplishment and melancholy, which I managed to bottle in a last poem I'm posting within hours. Meanwhile there's this sonnet I've written to my hometown, Cumaná, as a brief but heartfelt homage.
Best of lucks to all contestants.
Cumaná
The marshland opens to the coast that glistens,
the golden gulf, luxury of my emotion,
the salty sheets of brine are finest linens;
its fibers, spun directly from the ocean.
Quixotic birds bathe in exotic mirrors
where stately clouds reflect their steamed visages.
Soft sunny airs stream down… (the picture flickers),
as eyes of wonder doubt these dreamed mirages.
June's showers spray confusing dews of summer
(the heron princess's eternal season),
while on the human side diseases cumber,
red flagged philosophy of an old treason.
My city houses this, the bluest crew,
yet in my heart there’s hope to see us through.
A Personal Comment:
Every day I go past this beautiful landscape; herons bathe in its swampy waters, and the picture is amazing (always the poor birds are not sinking in garbage, of course). "Cumaná" reflects my mixed feelings about the city (and the country) in general. An eternal potential, an everlasting bud never to blossom; that's how I feel my hometown. I wanted to put it into a sonnet because I believe this is, among all poetry forms I know, the best one to express a reflection in the guise of rhythmical beauty.
Here, the link to Steemit School Discord.
It's so unfortunate that I'm leaving my comment on your poem later than instructed ... Hope you don't mind? I just had to take a break after the 100days poetry challenge. Speaking about the challenge, it really opened the eyes of my conscious mind to the fact that I can stretch beyond my limit.....
Of all your week 14 poems, I chose this one.... Why??
The primary reason is that I'm a lover of nature, sometimes, I leave the comfort of my home to admire pigeons in the market place... Such scenes usually stun me.. So any poem that seems to relate personally with me usually get me on the soft spot...
Back to your piece...
your skill in defining the water body where the herons swim is excellent.... Yeah, truly they are the finest linens... Their beauty can only be compared with the lilies of the valley..
Mehn, you still went ahead to describe these finest linens more... You call it exotic mirror where the quixotic birds bath. The cloud above them just adding to their beauty.. Wow... Such a scene!!
The proceeding stanzas also did great justice by adding more flavor to the piece...
Great piece man... Well done!!
Este poema será mi "weekly find" de la recta final, te comento más extensamente luego. Me gustó mucho.
♥ Gracias, @sansoncarrasco. Voy a dar un paseo por tu blog. Llegamos a la recta final. ¿Y ahora qué será de nosotros? ya mis amigos no me hablan y me botaron de la casa, ¡ja, ja, ja!
Excelente!
Saludos @marlyncabrera ;)
Gracias, @javigodfrey :-)
Beautiful!
I am so happy you chose this landscape as almost-closure for your participation in this poetry mega-marathon. It is the only scenery that gets me going on my way to work.
As i told you today, i had even planned to take my daughter one Saturday or Sunday morning, just to contemplate these birds: living examples of resiliency and hope.
You nailed it with the pictures. despite the lens's limitations (as we commented earlier), you captured that paradoxical beauty. To see the final result is just marvelous!
I feel that you epitomize, in a very tangible way, these birds, who display their beauty and charm amidst mud and pollution. You have bloomed and blinded us with your inexhaustible energy, only matched by your mesmerizing talent. You are the living example that this town we complain so much about has the germ for grandeur.
I really hope, like you do, to live to see it realized.
I don't need to wish you good luck...
I hope we can be those herons in that possible country which allows us to live a better life and our children to have the (good) future they choose. Your comment has moved me.
Thank you for your super kind and sensible words and for all your sensitiveness about this piece. I do feel something really special as I reread it. Thank you, thank you, @hlezama ☻♥
Excellent, dear @marlyncabrera! A poem full of emotion and feeling for the homeland. Better expressed, impossible. We have already completed the 100 days of poetry route and I am proud to have shared with you, an exceptional poet, this journey. A strong, strong hug, Marlyn!
This is well crafted and presented. This is a befitting description of the beautiful scenery of the landscape. Your choices of words are excellent... Well-done mate
As I mentioned befored in spanish, this is my weekly find for the last week of the challenge.
This poem is beautifuly figurative. It rhymes beautifuly and it describes landscapes that are close to my heart.
The ocean spinning salt as if it were threads is a beautiful image.
Birds in the tropic are flamboyant and funny looking. I liked very much “stately clouds”, brilliant.
So often in places where nature is abundant and lavish, people is scourged by want and lack.
Beautiful poem that makes up a solid diorama, dear professor @marlyncabrera.
Thanks for this gift, @sansoncarrasco :-) It is such a great experience for me to read your comment; I'm happy that you have taken the time to offer such thoughtful words. Besides, I can see we have truly connected over this piece.
Thank you!
Lástima no poder acceder a una buena traducción al español de este soneto, @marlyncabrera. Ojalá puedas ofrecérnosla en algún momento no tan remoto. Aún así se siente la aguda sensibilidad con la que creaste y lograste el poema. Situar a las garzas, aves que recogen la belleza y la libertad en el imaginario propio del texto, en esa agua salobre y pantanosa (marisma) que debe abrirse al mar ("el golfo dorado, el lujo de mi emoción", según la traducción de Google), me parece no solo una hermosa construcción poética, sino una "correlato" muy apropiado para honrar, aunque sea nostálgicamente, a Cumaná. ¡Gracias!
Gracias, @josemalavem. Hice este soneto con especial esmero y quiero traducirlo de igual manera. Es la prmera vez que hago un poema para Cumaná y en vista de que la estructura es shakespireana, será un ejercicio interesante traducirlo.