Day 1 + 2 + Compulsive Eating

marinatex (25)in #food • 8 years ago

So, I went to work yesterday and all those Christmas chocolates remais were there, facing me, calling me, saying "just a little peace will not cause harm". Oh Lord, that was not easy. I worked from 230 to 11pm and I counted every single hour, waiting for the time to get out of there and be far away from those deliciousness.

It is funny how obsessed I am with food. Actually, it's not funny, it's sad. Sometimes I feel like a slave of myself. For many many many years I struggle to lose weight and it seems to get harder as the time goes by.
I was surprised when I made some research about compulsive eating and I realized that I had some kind of disorder.

The overeaters anonymous website (https://oa.org/) shows a way for you to identify if you have an eating disorder. Basically, you have to answer the following questions:

Do I eat when I’m not hungry, or not eat when my body needs nourishment?
Do I go on eating binges for no apparent reason, sometimes eating until I’m stuffed or even feel sick?
Do I have feelings of guilt, shame, or embarrassment about my weight or the way I eat?
Do I eat sensibly in front of others and then make up for it when I am alone?
Is my eating affecting my health or the way I live my life?
When my emotions are intense — whether positive or negative — do I find myself reaching for food?
Do my eating behaviors make me or others unhappy?
Have I ever used laxatives, vomiting, diuretics, excessive exercise, diet pills, shots or other medical interventions (including surgery) to try to control my weight?
Do I fast or severely restrict my food intake to control my weight?
Do I fantasize about how much better life would be if I were a different size or weight?
Do I need to chew or have something in my mouth all the time: food, gum, mints, candies or beverages?
Have I ever eaten food that is burned, frozen or spoiled; from containers in the grocery store; or out of the garbage?
Are there certain foods I can’t stop eating after having the first bite?
Have I lost weight with a diet or “period of control” only to be followed by bouts of uncontrolled eating and/or weight gain?
Do I spend too much time thinking about food, arguing with myself about whether or what to eat, planning the next diet or exercise cure, or counting calories?

So, I decided to answer these questions and I realized that I said YES for 12 of them. 12!!!

Oh man, that was a sad day for me. I saw that I was sick.
The OA (Overeaters Anonymous) are just like the AA, but related to food. There are sponsors, meetings, etc.

I'll talk more about it later. For now, I want you to know that today was the second day and I won the sugar/flour enemy. It was not easy, my friends. Not at all. But I was able to win this battle. I hope to be able to win the whole war.