Writing Hacks To Help You Write Like A Hack

I had a friend once who asked me how to be a writer. He’s no longer a friend.
I joke.
He was never a friend.
But if he were to ask me again, I would have told him the following:
ALWAYS WRITE WITH YOUR MIND OPEN
Embrace the surreality of the world. Sit down at the typewriter and don’t judge yourself. Don’t put a barrier on what you should or shouldn’t write, even if what you’re writing is utter nonsense, and could be considered illegal in most countries.
ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR HEART
Do you hear that? Thump thump right? Thump thump thump. That’s the sound of your desires and your loves. It’s also the sound of a muscle inside your chest that pumps blood around the whole of your body … to keep you alive. But more than that it’s your desires and loves.
ALWAYS WRITE WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED
You don’t need to see the keyboard. You just need to feel the keyboard. Don’t worry if what you’re writing doesn’t look like conventional words and sentences and doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. The important thing is that the words came from your soul. Remember — Seeing is believing. So close your eyes and be unbelievable.
TOUCH PEOPLE WITH YOUR WORDS
And I mean physically. Print your words out on actual paper, then find a friend (or a foe) and start rubbing your words against their back. If they become angry or enraged in any way, throw it away and start again. You’ve written a bad thing. However if they start asking for more or if they remove their clothes, you’re onto a winner.
FINALLY, NEVER GO TO THE TOILET
NEVER! Do you want to waste all of that creative juice down the toilet? Save that energy for the page! Seriously, open up your document, drop your pants, and unleash the creative beast within.
Phew!
There you go.
My 100 ways to be a better writer.
I have to dash because a publisher wants me to turn this into a book, and I’m due to talk to Oxford University tonight. Will there be Brie? I hope so.
… I hope so.

Luke Kondor is a filmmaker and writer. He started writing on his computer in his early teens and never looked back, and now he’s got really sore eyes.
He’s part of the digital story studio — Hawk & Cleaver where he helps to create the best new stories for you to watch, read, sniff, and absorb. Go grab a free book here
*Originally posted, sortof, here - https://medium.com/letters-from-a-luke/20-always-write-with-your-mind-open-your-heart-aware-your-eyes-closed-2a9889c1eebe#.lzote04av
you're a national treasure.
Lol :p
I had a friend once who asked me how to be a writer. He’s no longer a friend.
I joke.
He was never a friend.
I DIED :))
Ah sorry about killing you.
A friend once asked me how to be a writer. He's no longer a friend.
I joke.
He was never a friend.
of England :)
I'll take that :D
the world, don't listen to hater. cough cough @cristi
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Thanks :) I'll check it out.
"FINALLY, NEVER GO TO THE TOILET"
'tis true.
Good stuff.. looking forward to more. Followed!
BOOM!
You just made me smile.
Luke on Luke and Hack from Hawk :) Love this!
:)
Great advices! I am writing with closed eyes now! Mich better!
Graet!
Didn't realize this was past payouts, but you have a new follower and a couple pennies making their way over to you in about a month.