The utter idiocy of Croatian government //Solar Selfie pole// comedyopenmic round #31

I just woke up to this.. An amazing way to wake up. Im not usually cranky in the morning but my god.... This got me super mad.

Ok so i was browsing my local newspaper online and i ran into a front page article, a posh piece about an amazing inventor and his goal to make the world a better place. Well not really.....
I literally dont know where to start with this.... Its so remarkably stupid im at a loss of words.

Basically there is a fad currently going on in Croatia and its called:

SLAP A SOLAR PANEL ON SOMETHING, CALL IT ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY, SELL IT TO THE STUPID GOVERNMENT FOR MONEY

A few years ago a highschool kid first had the idea. He made solar benches for people to sit on. Everyone praised the invention. I of course thought it was a retarded idea (still not as retarded as this one).
It was basically a solar panel you sit on and can charge your phone on the side if youre carrying around a charger...
Now at first glance you realize how stupid this is.

1. Its uncomfortable sitting on a flat piece of glass
2. Youre sitting on something that is supposed to collect solar energy
3. The bench is low, the panels horizontal to the ground meaning the efficiency is close to 0.
4. It costs a 100 times more then a regular bench.

What problems does this solve? Does it improve anything?
I might be a dumb mofo, but i thought the purpose of a bench is to offer people a place to sit, preferably on something comfortable.

Of course everyone thought this was a brilliant idea, praising the kid like hes Tesla, and he managed to sell who knows how many of these idiot benches to our government. I mean you could say they look cool, but they are ultimately pointless.

It amazes me that people are so quick to praise something simply because they hear: "Solar panel"...

Solar panel roads, solar panel toilets, solar panel umbrellas, solar panel hats.....

And now we get to this.
The benches were made by this highschool kid, so he can get a pass, probably thought he would make these for a school project and his dad jumped in:

Hey, boy, you know how our politicians are corrupt? "Yeah dad!" We sell a bunch of these to our local politicians as an AMAZING invention! We can make a ton of money!!! "You so great dad!"

But this.... This i cant give a pass to.
SOLAR FUCKING SELFIE POLES!

Im going to link a youtube video of the "pole reveal" down below. Yes he revealed his pole and told the tax payers to suck it..
This guy is a bit older then the kid and because he lives in the same area as the "solar benches kid" he probably thought to himself:

"Wow, he sold a bunch of that junk for a lot of money to the government, i can do the same! Let me see.... Solar pants! No. Solar socks! No. Solar sunglasses! No. Solar panels! No, thats a thing already. I GOT IT! Solar selfie sticks!"

And he made it. He made a damn solar selfie pole... It has solar panels on top, it points in just 1 direction, it doesnt move, its ugly, its utterly impractical, and most important of all it costs 50 000 Kuna, or around 8000 USD!

And thats not all!!!! No! He sold the government 3 of them! Hahahaha. And you thought that was everything! HELL NO!
The maintanance of each one is around 200USD each month. The contract value totaling with all the "development cost" bs, came to 40 000 USD.

And im looking at this thing, and cant be in more shock. A stationary pole that can take a picture in only one direction. 8000 USD.
Youve spent 8000 USD so some people that want to take a picture in that particular spot wouldnt have to ask the first passer by: "Hey wanna take a picture of us?"
And the worst of all..... Its pretty difficult to position yourself in the center of the frame. During the reveal they actually mess it up. :D

They gave him 40 000 USD when they could just pay someone to walk around town, stalking tourists taking pictures and ask them: "Hey you want me to take your picture?"

OR HEY! HOW ABOUT INVENT, I DUNNO, A METAL EXPANDING STICK THAT HOLDS YOUR PHONE ON ONE END, THAT YOU TAKE PHOTOS WITH BY STRETCHING YOUR HAND IN THE DIRECTION AWAY FROM YOUR BODY?

See, Arnie had the right idea

Wait, that actually exists! Its called a selfie stick! IT COSTS 10 Dollars!

And there you have it folks. Thats the place i live in.

I think i might invent something as well. It will be like a hammer, but bigger. Longer handle and and at least 10 times as heavy! Ill call it: "Big fucking hammer". It wont be solar powered.

It will be powered by steak and mashed potatoes. Once im done inventing, i might walk down to the old city, and knock that piece of junk half way across the bay.

And there you have it. A short rant. :D
I wont actually destroy public property, of course, (ill pay someoneto do it for me) but you know... Croatia is not a wealthy country to spend money on junk and when i see stuff like this i get grrr, and arghhh and rawwrrrr.

Ill see you around. :D

I nominate: @pechichemena and @soundwavesphoton

Heres the reveal ceremony video. :D