My pent-up longing.

This feeling has been immersed for a long time. Since I met her until now I do not know where she is and what she is doing. It's been almost half a year since I've seen him even his shadow. He seemed to be lost in the earth, when I tried to meet him in the place he used to visit, he had never visited the place, the info I got from some people who used to see it in that place.

"Kanya, you're ready yet?" Mama's scream interrupted my reverie. "U..u .. already ma," I replied as I hurriedly took my cell phone and bag and then out of the room to meet the mama who has been waiting. Mama was already dressed neatly, maroon clothes, brown trousers made of cloth and brown shoes flagship not to be left to beautify my mama today. "You really really long ready-ready ..?" Asked the mama who seemed to have started getting angry because of my delay. "Where are we going Ma?" I asked back. "Well, you come along, then you also know where we want to go." Mom immediately pulled my hand and took me with his car.

Now we are in a large cemetery area. The place is quite crowded, knowing it is now approaching the month of Ramadan many visitors who come to nyekar and pray for their relatives buried here. "Cepet Aya ... you tuh, if the road can not cepet well ..." again just a scolding that comes out of Mom's mouth. Honestly I'm annoyed because I do not know for what we came here but from earlier at home until here I continue to be scolded. After seeing some people gathered in a mausoleum, Mom pulled my hand to go to the crowd of people. Looks like mama knew those guys, when arrived at the grave mama immediately apologized for our delay then we began to pray for the people who are in the tomb.

I still wonder where is he? Does he know I'm always watching him? and what because he knows that he is avoiding me? Or something happened to him that made him disappear ?. Hmmpf ... I may have to surrender and pray all the best for him. But I also believe one day I will be able to see him again.

"Today you're off right?" Mom asked when I was just about to eat bread with pineapple jam into my favorite breakfast. I just nodded and went back to eating the bread I was holding. "Well already, then you keep the house papa same mama would come out. Maybe later in the afternoon just come home. "This time papa who talk, it seems they will visit our relatives. I did not expect to be invited, I was still very sleepy due to watching my favorite team match Real Madrid. After my parents left, I went back to my room to take a shower and then went back to sleep.

It was 10:30 when I got to college. I really do not have to go early to college because I'm a freshman at the end of the semester will be graduated. Now I go to college just to include the files that are required for graduation later. In addition, I also have to prepare a report pertanggug answer that I will report later because I was chairman of HMJ in my journey. "C'mon .. ngelamunin what the hell? Seriously .. "Tami my best friend suddenly came and startled me. Already from the beginning of college he became my friend. Even only he who knows if I admire "him" the man who has now disappeared somewhere. "Elo what the hell is that? Make a jungungan aja, later if I ko'it how? Want loe responsibility ?. "I deliberately shy away from Tami's question, because he must have known what has always been the subject of my daydreaming. Tami has also lately helped me get information about my idol guy. "You still think about boys? not bored what? every day ngelamun .. aja, awas loh later loe satan kesonthe fall in love. "Tami's advice at once teased me. I can not reply, because Tami is right except about Satan's fallacy in love.

Graduation day arrived, finally I can become a scholar like my dreams. Setauku today he also graduated because of information I've got he also has completed the task of his thesis and ready to graduate. But again strange, from the beginning of the graduation ceremony until the end of the event, his name was not even called to the rope toga removal by the rector. A lot of questions came back over my head, this time what other reason made him disappear? I'm really confused. I wonder, what's there? people who have wasted money and time to learn and study but when his graduation day is not even present. But I still can only take leave and let all these questions be saved and maybe one day will be missed.

The echo of takbir began to reverberate. Parents, children, men and women flocked around, bertakbir and while waiting for the coming of victory in the next day. At 07.00, I, mama, and papa are already in the mosque near our house complex to perform the Ied prayer. "Allhamdulilah .. finally still can celebrate Lebaran Ma," papa began to open our conversation when we just arrived home after returning from the mosque. "Yeah Pa, really grateful to be able to meet ketupat same chicken opull Lebaran this year," I continued immediately greeted with laughing papa and mama. "You tuh, aja food diinget ..," Mom said while stroking my head. "Oh yes Pa, we so nyekar to the grave of his son Mas Surya," asked mom to papa who at the same time made me wondered too. What is the grave that mama means is the grave the day we visited? and what relationship mama and papa with the person they call Mas Surya it? Why should we come closer to the grave of his son ?. "Yes be Ma, we already promise the same Mas Surya and Mba Reni we do not go away, wait so not nice." Dad replied.
Now we've been in the funeral that mama and I visited the other day. Our existence is also a little answer my questions. I also already know who Om Solar and why we should participate in this nyekar. But what makes me still curious is who is Om Solar's son? which he said died about 3 months ago due to cancer of the blood and the more sorry anymore said Om Surya his son who should have been a medical scholar was forced to not continue the education that lived a few months because of the illness, I really can not see the tombstone clearly because even though I was twenty-two years old my height is not more than 155 cm and the position of the people here who was standing made me more difficult to see the tombstone. "We go to my house first, well De Danu, all friendship." Just ask Om Surya to papa when finished praying and papa nodded a sign that he agreed.

I also got a chance to see the grave. I gasped, my whole body felt weak, I could not believe what I saw. The gravestone marked the name ANDRA PERMANA BIN SURYA PERMANA. My tears can not be denied, I can not believe that I've been longing for him, the one I've admired even in silence, it turns out he's the one who has now been buried and buried in this tomb. I obviously knew that he was because we both went to medical school but in different classes. Especially with my former chairman status HMJ certainly I know all the students who sejurusan with me. I did not expect the Andra I missed so far I would meet with such circumstances, a state that is really sad for me. And this time I'm going to have to try again and let everything go. I too can only pray that he, my silent love, get a quiet place in heaven there.