You are in a tough spot, no doubt. And you are right, most would have killed themselves by now. But you haven't... Why? Well, obviously because you are tougher than that. (Props, player). And, you have faith in Christ. The tough part is, we have to be realistic and accept that you will likely not be climbing any mountains, or competing in professional sports in the future. Your physical being has become quite the burden, has it not? It sucks, but is what it is. So, where is your strength? YOUR MIND. You are going through something that very few human beings experience and surely this experience will shape your mind in unique ways. This lends you a rare perspective and surely your mind will develop further in unique ways. Use that, man. Perhaps, there is some other kid out there, younger than you, who is scared and in pain, like you have been. Perhaps, you can offer them comfort and lend them strength to manage their pain. Many with various conditions will enter a kind of "hell" given the pain their bodies cause them. Perhaps, you can guide them through that "hell". Because you are one of the few that has been to hell and back. One of the few that can say you've "been there and done that". One of the few still standing, who didn't give up and throw in the towel. You are an inspiration... Share that inspiration with those who need to hear it, brother.