I was young, or so I was told. Everyone treated me like a baby, but that might have been because I had to look at all of them.

I was short.

When I was born it was on a farm, on a cold and windy day, and my mom was the first thing I ever saw. She was the most beautiful thing ever, I could always remember her big brown eyes, but mine were blue. This was normal, I think, but everyone said I was special so maybe I had special eyes too. Boy could I smell stuff though! Probably about the best sniffer of anything ever, I could find anything in the woods. I didn't have brothers or sisters, they all died, that was why I was so special. I think I would've liked to have some growing up. That's just about the biggest thing a boy could ever want ever, but it was just me and my mom. My dad died too. I didn't know my dad.

I played with this other boy though, we ran around in the fields and the grass and made sure the sheep were safe and the goats and wow it was so much fun! Really a lot of fun. He had to go to this place called "school" and I'd wait for him every day 'cause my mom wouldn't let me go to school with him. I was sad about that. Not for long though, my Friend would come home and we'd play some more! He called me special too, I liked that. I liked it the most when he called me his special friend though.

Then later after the winter came I had to go away, but I was bigger. Not little like before. I think it was the one winter, but I can't count good.

They took me to this place that smelled so strange, it had so many new things I couldn't stop and smell it like I liked to do. They didn't talk to me much, but I was with others like me and we were put in a big cage. Like for foxes, you know? Except there weren't no foxes or 'coons or nothin' like that at all. Just us. I thought it was cold, but it was okay enough to sleep.

I remember how much I missed my mom though, and my Friend. I cried at night.

They hit me. I didn't cry ever again.

Next day though we got taken somewhere else, big place out in the open, like a field except it weren't for growing nothin' out there. This was for walking all over, running, jumping, rollin' in the mud like a buncha pigs! I got in trouble when I did that back home, my Friend laughed though, so I did it a lot. Had to get a bath. Except here we kept rolling and jumping and crawling and I didn't hear anyone laugh, this big tall man kept shouting and waving a stick around real angry like. Everyone was afraid of him and did what they were told, I was special so I had to do what I was told 'cause I was special.

We did this for days and days too. Rain didn't stop us, we just did it harder in the rain, we learned to jump higher, roll farther, crawl low, made my body hurt but I got real good at it. Almost as good as I was just regular like at sniffing, it was fun! I liked being out there being all busy, I was so caught up in what we were doing and listening to the Yelling Man real good that I forgot all about missing my mom and my Friend and the chickens and the ducks and the cows and the sheep and...

Oh yeah They made me carry stuff too. A lot. Everywhere. All the time! I never done that before, They made us run with heavy stuff strapped on us real good. I was extra good with that, They fed me more for being so special, but the Yelling Man must've been the most confusing person ever 'cause he just yelled at me harder for doing more good than before.

Well I did what I was told, I tried not to cry at night 'bout my missing my mom. I almost forgot my Friend once or twice though. I felt bad about that.

I tried to remember him extra hard, even when we were doing the new stuff. Some of them other ones that was out there with us went somewhere else, the ruckus they made... I heard guns before, I grew up on a farm, but these were loud and so many it was just ata-tat-ata-tat! almost all day. I could smell the powder burns, stank to high heaven somethin' fierce, but I weren't scared of it at all. Nope. Not me. I was special.

Got me some good bacon for it too. I ate it right away.

We had to do other stuff though, They put a white band on me and said I'd help. They shoved me outside all a sudden and I was alone out there. Felt kinda scared.

Then I heard this man.

At first I thought he was playin' or somethin' out there, maybe he had a friend, but then I listened (I could hear real good too) and he sounded kinda hurt. What was I gonna do? I was gonna find this feller. So I go on out there and looked around, I tried to smell but everything was all covered in nasty stuff they put in those fancy automatic wagons that ain't pulled by horses. Found some bacon out there. Boy I did like bacon, but he was sure hurt somethin' bad...

Right there I wondered what my mom would say to me.

She would tell me I'm special. Special boys don't stop until the job's done.

When he yelled my word I found that man right away, he looked like he fell down in this hole and I ran over to him as fast as my legs coulda carried me. You might even say an angel lifted me up there, gave me a push, I felt so excited to get to that man. They had me wear this special box, had the big X on it like the band on my arm had, except this one was in a white circle. He took it off and yelled somethin' out, just like the thing They yelled when They were showin' us how to run with all that stuff.

Well just like that he had all his friends out there, they were down there tellin' me what a good job I done!

Felt good. I felt really good. I was happy.

I didn't forget home though, when They brought me back to the cage I felt sad all over again. Not for missing my mom or my Friend, I did not forget my Friend, but because they didn't see me help the man. This was what I was best at I think, and here I was all alone.

Spent so many nights like that. Sad. Worst feeling in the world was how sad I got at night, it was hard. Real hard. I wanted to sleep but couldn't, I wanted to cry, couldn't do that either. They hit us if we cried, They started hitting us for making any noise we weren't allowed to make. That Yelling Man hit us too, he hit everybody, probably the scariest man I ever met or seen.

I just wanted to go home.

They wouldn't let me go.

Everyone was acting different one day though, we didn't do much anything different, but that night I knew why. This big thing came, huffing and chugging, I heard this called a "train" and a lot of us were afraid of it or just mostly antsy like we didn't know what to do. They thought for us, I learned that's what They did. We got up on the train and wow! Those things moved fast, the trains, faster than I could run for longer too, basically forever it seemed like 'cause I fell asleep and so did everyone else.

When we got there it was dark again.

All my hairs stood up though, 'cause I could smell it before I ever saw it.

Smelled like nothin' I ever smelled in my life, but I knew deep down in my bones it was bad. This was a bad place. I was scared again.

Everyone was scared with me, but the Yelling Man must've had some brothers or somethin' 'cause these guys shoved us and yelled a lot for us to move. So I did. We all did. They didn't have any reason to hit us, but some got hit anyway, they hit us with the guns and kicked us, we moved faster so they couldn't line us up with a boot. Everyone got told where to go by some man who looked like he wasn't looking at all, pretending like he didn't see us. I don't know why it scared me, but I was scared a little.

They moved us toward the smells.

It was awful.

Sounded awful too, far away there was this weird thunder sound too. We all sat down and got told what not to do instead of what to do. Lots of nots and don'ts and don't ever evers, the man there looked like he didn't see us either, but this time he looked like his eyes weren't real. Like they were fake, he just had this look that made me afraid to see his face. I looked away because I was scared.

When night time came the thunder from another place rumbled and roared, but no rain came. No lightning. Nothing like that. I saw a rat run by in the dirt, and we had to walk down into this long hole that kinda was like the inside of a house except it didn't have any roof. There were lots of turns too.

Oh and the smells. Figured out the smell right 'bout then.

I was smelling the dirt because it seemed like a good idea at the time and then I caught a whiff of it. I looked down my nose and right there was a hand. Poking right outta the dirt! One of his fingers was cut off and I saw the bone there, his other fingers were fine but they were big and puffy.

Somebody pulled me down. Said I might get shot. Why would anyone shoot at me?

I didn't believe him, the Yelling Man only had us hit, They only hit us if we did wrong. Nobody ever got shot for it, didn't make much sense if They wanted us to do stuff. I didn't wanna get hit though, so I did as I was told.

I went to sleep too scared to cry. I still missed my mom though.

This was just how it went day in, day out, I lost count of how many days it was because I forgot to keep counting and I don't count so good. Sometimes at night I heard voices from far away, on the other side of the place I wasn't allowed to go. Those other boys who came down with me to our place, they were all scared too, but they were big and tall and had the guns. They played with me though, made me catch some rats, I was real good at that and even better at killing rats.

Who knew killing rats could be so much fun?

That's not the only fun we had though. They had this ball, kept throwin' it around, I'd catch it, but I didn't know how to throw it and I brought it back each time real careful so it didn't get lost. Anything that fell in the mud was gone. Even I couldn't find it, and boy, I was real good at findin' stuff and diggin' and all the stuff I learned back home. Mud was mostly just here and there though, not where the boards were, and in the big walkway spots we had this little creek under the boards. Sometimes it was downright gross. Worst stuff I ever seen, had dead rats in it, pieces of bodies, blood... Folks sometimes just, you know, went there too.

Oh but that weren't it, we could call it home if that was all we had goin' wrong. I learned why there were so many dead folks all around because one day everything just went crazy. I didn't know what to do except hide! I think this is what it was when thunder hit the ground, it was so loud and all the dirt and the boards and the bodies and the rats and people's stuff got thrown up so high. I saw this one guy running in the sky screaming somethin' fierce, but when he came down he just went quiet with a weird honk. One of our peoples got mushed by some mud and dirt.

I watched him die. He looked right at me. He looked like he wanted me to help, like he was more hurt that I wasn't big enough to just dig him out right there. I felt bad. I forgot all about the thundering and went right to him, but he was dead then. Face all red, getting purple, like he was a fat blister getting squeezed.

Then it stopped.

I heard this man somewhere, he was moaning and groaning. He weren't playing. I went to him.

Somewhere out there his legs were surely about, but right that minute he just had stubs. I was afraid he'd catch a cold in the mud like that, so I dragged him to the others.

Right about then I heard another. I could smell him first, smelled raw like blood and like he wet himself, except that smell came from where his insides were supposed to go. He was white as a ghost. I couldn't understand what he said to me, I tried to drag him away but he stopped moving and breathin' real fast like he was. He died there. I felt sad to see him die, even though I didn't know him.

Another one yelled something. My word. Cor-Man.

I always thought that word was silly 'cause I was a boy still, they all treated me like it too, but right that minute I didn't have time to wonder about it. I ran. He was far away, way out in the place I was told not to go.

"HEEEEEELP!"

His voice got high and scratchy, I never heard a man sound like that before until then. My feet ran so fast I think they mighta broken right off if I had tripped. I didn't though, not one bit. When he was ready to scream again I jumped right in there with him and his hurt buddy. That box I carried sure was handy, never thought about it until then, but that bleeding was bad. I could drag his buddy, but he was hurt too. I wanted him to leave that rifle, but he still carried in anyway and he crawled out right after me.

That's when the whole world went crazy all over again!

Little zips and zings and hisses and cracks were all around, I was going backwards so I got to see all these little lights comin' after us and all around. I was dragging the buddy though, I couldn't stop to sniff or be scared or do anything but tug and tug.

Got down inside alright, the others took care of that buddy.

Well then I remembered I forgot the other guy! I looked up there and saw he was face down. All that dirt around him was jumpin' around, don't know how but I figured it weren't good. So I ran over and got him, where all the zings and zaps were, flying all around me I dragged him real fast 'cause I was gettin' scared.

Well nobody else yelled my word again, but they did say I did a good job. A real good job! One of those boys down there said he had a friend like me once, but I didn't see no friend, so maybe he got killed. I decided I could be his friend, he could be my Friend.

That weren't exactly what I'd call my boys though, the ones I was with all the time. We were like a family, like me and my mom were back home, so maybe I could call each one Brother. I liked that.

One of them was hurt though, he looked at me and held out a hand. I was there. I love you, Brother.

They took him away, the ones who had my color, we shared the same word. Cor-Man. That was them, that was me, I think they were special too. They took boys away all the time, sometimes the one who came back from the scary place were quiet and sometimes they yelled and screamed so hard. They all got taken away, I think it was to a place where it was safe. I didn't understand why we couldn't all go there, I didn't want my Brothers to be hurt.

That night we slept, but there were more boys walking around than normal. Made me scared, but I trusted them to keep us as safe.

Day came.

More thunder, but all the boys where we were hid this time and nobody was outside. We waited until it was all done.

I heard my word again. I did my job real good, but it was just digging this time. I could hear the boy down there in the dirt, scared, but I found him. He smiled at me. I felt the best that day because I saw his smile. Come on out, Brother. I found you!

They had me dig a lot, I got to the hurt first and I got them safe. Every day, for at least a few days, I found the boys under the dirt after the thunder came. I found men who led them hurt really bad. I found another Cor-Man with no foot, he used my special box with the X on it to make the bleeding stop and then I helped him to the others. They all said I did a good job, they were so happy to have me there to help. I was so happy to help them. Help my Brothers.

We went to sleep that night, nobody died. That was a good day. I love you, Brothers. Goodnight.

Good days did not always come, sometimes men would go away and not come back. I knew where they went, they went to the place I was not allowed to go. I listened and listened for my special word, but I heard nothing except the strange thunder and the guns far away.

I was sad when a Brother did not come back. A few times it was one or two, not many, but mostly it was when a whole lot went up and over into that place. Sometimes they yelled, sometimes they just walked, sometimes they ran. I was real good at listening, but after the guns I did not hear anyone. I knew they died and I was sad, but my first Brothers had not gone yet.

We waited days, we waited nights. Brothers came, Brothers did not come back.

I was sad when my Brothers never came back.

They must have learned that we were real good at staying safe there, so maybe They just up and figured we knew how to get over to the other side. Those boys were still over there! On the other side, the ones I heard before, maybe we were trying to help them this whole time. That was when I knew I had to be the best, my Brothers would need all the help in the world to get over there.

I was as ready as I could ever be, they fed me a big can of food that tasted gross. I ate up because I'd need to be strong all day, we all ate up and got ready.

PEEEEEEEEEEP!

I never heard a whistle before!

My Brothers climbed on out and started runnin' and I ran right there too. We went fast and we went far, farther than I think anyone's ever been. I didn't understand any of it, but I did it, because if my Brothers were doing it I was doing it too. We had to get past the holes and the mud, and in front the thunder had stopped, but we kept running and running.

Then that weird flashing came again, and all those zips and zings and hisses were all around. I saw the dirt in front of me lift up and we all ran right into it on accident.

I think I went to sleep because I didn't remember anything for a long time, I woke up and it was a little darker.

For a moment I forgot where I was. I could still smell though. I smelled dead.

My Brothers were dead.

I found parts of them everywhere.

This hurt my heart so bad, I couldn't help it, I cried. I cried because they died and I couldn't help them. Dead people are dead. There is no help for dead. I was all alone and all sorts of scared. My leg didn't work and hurt real bad, but I tried to keep going. I crawled and fought that pain, I looked and looked, I smelled, I listened. I did not believe I was the only one left, I had to be able to save at least one of my Brothers.

I believed it in my heart that I would be able to save one more.

For a real long time I crawled. I even rolled in the mud a bit, mostly on account of me falling down into a hole where all these busted up people were. I couldn't tell who they were, but they smelled like meat and death, cold, all ripped up into bits and pieces hardly still together. There was a head too, this man with brown eyes, he looked like the Yelling Man except his face wasn't angry. His eyes were cloudy.

He had died a long time ago, the smell was bad.

I heard it.

A voice.

It whispered out.

"... hel... help me..."

I got so excited there, I crawled over as fast as I could to the Brother.

Except it wasn't a Brother! This one was different. He smelled different. He wore different clothes, his hair looked to me like it was pretty much as white as it could without being an old man. His eyes were really blue, the bluest eyes I had seen on a boy, but even though he was so different I still had to help him. Something real awful happened, here this guy was lost. I let him take my special box off me.

"Good boy," he said in a weird kinda way, like he wasn't so good at talking.

I knew he was weak because he could barely thank me by scratching behind my ears, his fingers felt so weak against my fur. I wasn't sure I could pull him by myself, I was pretty weak too, but I knew I had to try. He could help himself get a little better though! He liked the drink I had.

He smiled at me, this boy, and he said in his weird way, "I had a freund like you once."

I couldn't see no friend nearby, maybe he got killed. I'll be your friend and you can be my Friend.

There was a certain tiredness about him, so I bit into his coat and tugged as hard as I could. Pulling a boy with three legs was hard, but I was gonna do it, I was gonna get this boy to safety. I didn't know which way to go because I forgot which way was home, but I knew we were going one way and came from another so I listened.

Brothers! They were that way!

So I pulled and I pulled, but I had to do it so the way I had to go was to my side at first. I had to get him out of the hole. This boy was skinny, but I sure was tired, and I didn't wanna mess up at all. He didn't fight me though, he just made some noise, I didn't know what noise that was but it kinda sounded like funny talking.

Those zips and zings made it hard to wonder.

Then I didn't wonder anything ever again.