HOW I DEFILED MYSELF
I wanted to become an Artist.
I was a fervent writer,
an inspired speaker,
a vehement singer,
a multi-linguistic enthusiast,
a tumultuous philosopher..
heading for a disaster..
Why??
Because i did not confine myself to the absurd standards of society and their ridiculous expectations..
Who would want to be in a relationship with a guy who lives in a little world of his own with empty pockets??
Who would want to sit with and befriend a person who has no future ??
Who would accept the man whose ideas would rock the very foundation of the society that he lives in??
It boggled my mind..
I caved in...
I gave up to my own fears..
I joined the Engineering College.
Everyday a new algorithm i studied, my Socrates took a little poison
Everyday a new theorem i proved, my Da Vinci threw away a few of his paint brushes
Everyday a new electrical circuit i made, my Frank Sinatra fried few of his records
Colours turned in to cold metals..
Ideas disfigured in to Fourier transforms..
Linguistics got restricted to powerpoint presentations
My struggle continued. "May be i could be both", I said to myself...
4 years later,
I became the antagonist of my own protagonist self...
I became an engineer
Started earning handsomely in 6 digits
Became a "respected" member of the society,
One who will have job security for life,
One whom everyone will want to sit with and befriend,
One who will be accepted in society as the man with a bright future..
But i wasn't looking to be an Engineer
I wanted to be an Artist..
All the engineering theories, all the knowledge, all the concepts started to fade away.. day after day, month after month, year after year..
9 years ago..
I wanted to be an artist...
But became an engineer
Now i am neither an artist...
Nor an engineer
I have successfully erased myself from pages of history that weren't even written yet.
For i had violated my brain,
And defiled my own identity...
The artist that i could be..
Based on a true story from the life of JBN
Part of that artist can be kept alive. It is alive. This post is a proof.
I am grateful that you find my writing artistic in nature.. i am humbled...
I hope you one day find a way to combine your art and engineering as Da Vinci did. I agree with the comments... you are an artist as your writing proves.
Thank you for the encouraging words... but i am afraid i am little late for that.. but i will try to act on your advice.. may be 400 years later, people would be studying and applauding my work..
Thanks for sharing your story @jbn. I bet those creative parts of yourself are still inside you and are reawakening as you become truer to yourself once again! And incredibly, with steemit, you can fill your pockets too! Wishing you every success. @dakini5d
Thank you so much mate. If you know a fellow steemian or someone in person who is about to make the same mistake like i did, please give this to them. May be i can stop people from defiling their identities..
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