A WORLD WITHOUT MEN - ROMANTIC COMEDY

It’s a nice sunny day in the Salt Lake valley.

DONOVAN’S sedan is heading down a main road.

Donovan is SINGING along to POP MUSIC on the radio (OS)

INT. DONOVAN’S CAR - MORNING

DONOVAN (early 30s), the man singing, is driving to work. He is an analyst at Todëra, a cosmetics company. He is well dressed (dress shirt & tie), groomed and in a cheerful mood.

Donovan is a caricature of a lady’s man. He is charming, good-looking and charismatic. He is the kind of guy women love being around, and he loves being around women as well. He also loves watching porn and loves to flirt, even though he’s in a relationship with AUBREY (early 30s).

Donovan notices two attractive women (early 20s) walking down the street. He checks them out. Then, they make eye contact with him and smile at him. They’re checking him out as well.

DONOVAN

(horny)

Hello…

Donovan drives by a billboard featuring an ad with a super model wearing bikini. He checks it out, horny.

DONOVAN

(smiles and whistles)

Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about!

Fucking hot as shit!

(bites his lips and fists his hand)

Hell yeah!

Donovan stops at a red light. As he sings, he glances sideways and sees a woman (40s) checking him out. He looks at her, smiles and winks.

EXT. DONOVAN’S WORKPLACE - MORNING

A medium-size corporate office building. There is a ‘TODËRA BEAUTY PRODUCTS’ sign by the entrance to the building’s parking lot.

EMPLOYEES are entering the building, hurrying to work.

Donovan’s car enters the parking lot. The windows are rolled down and the LOUD MUSIC is heard. He SINGS along to it.

He parks, leaves his car and walks fast towards the building. He greets people on his way, and people greet him back.

INT. DONOVAN’S WORKPLACE - MORNING

Typical, busy corporate office. There are many posters on the walls with pictures of beauty products and the name Todëra is everywhere.

Most employees at Todëra are female, and they all adore Donovan. Donovan loves his job because of it. He loves being surrounded by hot women.

Donovan enters and walks towards his office. He couldn’t be happier to be there.

Several women check him out and smile at him. He smiles back.

Donovan is just about to open his office door when out of nowhere, RUTH (mid 20s), a big breasted woman with a cleavage, stops Donovan in his tracks and gently grabs his arm.

Ruth has a crush on Donovan, and she never misses an opportunity to flirt with him. She has been trying to seduce him for a while, pushing Donovan a little bit forward towards that goal each time.

Donovan checks out her the cleavage. Ruth doesn’t mind it.

In fact, she enjoys it.

DONOVAN

(still gazing at the cleavage)

Ruth… How can I help you…?

RUTH

(horny for Donovan)

Donovan… you should –- swing by the lab when you can and…

(winks)

…help me out…?

DONOVAN

(swallows. He is horny)

Oh… really now?

Ruth smiles a naughty smile, laughs, grabs the tip of

Donovan’s tie and starts walking, like she’s leading

Donovan by his tie. After a beat, the tie reaches its end and falls out of her hand.

RUTH

Why don’t you just visit me and find out?

DONOVAN

(checks her out as she walks away)

Oh, you know I will…!

Ruth disappears from his view. Finally, he enters his office.

INT. DONOVAN’S OFFICE, CONTINUOUS – DAY

Donovan sits at his desk. He turns his computer on.

HEELS TAPPING(OS)

ASHLEY (late 20s), a coworker, enters his office.

Ashley is a very attractive woman, and she is dressed to impress as well. She is wearing high heels and a skirt.

She is a fellow analyst at Todëra. She enjoys Donovan’s company, even when there isn’t an actual reason for it-like this time.

Donovan checks Ashley out; his eyes wander from her chest down to her skirt.

ASHLEY (OS)

(flirty)

Hey babe…

Donovan hurries to look back at Ashley’s face-he doesn’t wanna come off as a pervert. Either way, Ashley definitely enjoys his attention.

DONOVAN

Hey Ash! How can I blow your mind today?

ASHLEY

(laughs)

You always blow my mind, Donovan… best Analyst ever! Speaking of blowing minds, I hope you’re ready for the --

(cynical)

--presentationnn...I heard it will be --

(makes a quoting sign with her fingers)

--‘the bomb’.

DONOVAN

(flirty)

Oh -- I’ll be ready if you will be there with me.

Ashley laughs. She’s flattered, and now that she got her dose of conversing with Donovan, she’s ready to go about her business.

ASHLEY

By the way… love the Facebook pic you posted last night. Hot!

DONOVAN

You know it.

(winks)

Ashley leaves the office, and Donovan checks Ashley out as she walks out. Then he, picks up a file folder, gets up and leaves his office.

INT. MARK’S OFFICE - DAY

Organized looking office. It is clearly a manager’s office.

MARK (40s) is a serious looking, enthusiastic and motivated manager. He is wearing a suit and tie, and is rarely seen without it. He is often too enthusiastic about his job, which makes him seem funny. His employees have a hard time sharing his enthusiasm. He adores Donovan, and often calls Donovan ‘Big D’. Donovan likes Mark, but gets bored with him too often.

Mark is sitting at his desk, typing on his computer. There is freshly brewed coffee by his keyboard.

The office wall is decorated with Todëra posters, and a picture of him shaking hands with the CEO.

Donovan enters, holding a folder. Mark notices Donovan.

MARK

(excited)

Hey, big D!

DONOVAN

(tries not to let himself look bored)

Hey Mark.

MARK

Man, I’ve never been this pumped for a presentation in my entire career… so --

(refers to Donovan’s folder)

--what goods have you brought here with you?

DONOVAN

(hands Mark the folder)

This is the revenue projection for the new product, including a revised income projection for the entire department.

MARK

That’s awesome, Donovan. This --

(points at the folder)

--is the reason I do what I do; Serving our community, one face lotion at a time.

(stares off at the distance)

Donovan looks down, and rubs his forehead in quiet desperation.

MARK

Let’s do this Donovan.

DONOVAN

(looks at Mark)

Can’t wait!

INT. DONOVAN’S WORKPLACE, MEETING ROOM - DAY

Typical meeting room. There is a large, rectangular table in the center of the room with power outlets and about a dozen seats around it. There is also a large board for writing/projecting.

Mark is PRESENTING in front of about a dozen employees. Donovan is sitting close to Mark.

MARK

This awesome, brilliant idea for the new product could give us a very much needed increase in revenues, which are projected to increase our bottom line by at least 3%. It is also projected that it will increase our market share by 1.5%! And thanks to Donovan here --

Mark points at Donovan and tries to make eye contact with him, while Donovan is focused on his phone, not noticing Mark.

Donovan is looking at a text from LINDSEY. It’s a picture of a young, semi naked woman, and underneath it the text says ‘don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like me’?

DONOVAN

(low voice, to himself)

I do…!

MARK (OS)

(loud whisper)

Donovan!

Donovan puts his phone away, struggling to remain calm.

DONOVAN

Yes! Yes Sir.

MARK (continued)

Thanks to you -- my man -- the chance of our office’s budget being increased will improve drastically! Give it to this guy, everybody!

Everyone CLAPS their hands and smiles at Donovan. One woman winks at him and bites her lips. Donovan waves at his colleagues and smiles. He winks back at the woman. He can’t get enough of that type of attention.

INT. DONOVAN’S WORKPLACE, BREAKROOM – DAY

Typical break room. Employees are eating and CHATTING.

Donovan is getting a cup of coffee at a vending machine. The coffee is ready, and he looks for a place to sit. He sees MARTIN (Hispanic, early 30s) sitting by himself and having lunch. He sits by him.

DONOVAN

Martin! Wussup, dude?

Martin and Donovan bump fists.

MARTIN

Hey man.

(beat)

Hey -– you know that girl from the lab,

Ruth?

DONOVAN

(laughs)

Oh yeah…

MARTIN

(gestures with his hands)

Those tatas… damn!

DONOVAN

I’m totally gonna hit that at some point. She’s all over me.

MARTIN

Daaamn! You lucky puto. You get a lotta attention from the ladies, huh?

DONOVAN

Yep –- guilty!

MARTIN

(beat)

Ever wonder what your life would be like if you didn’t want it?

DONOVAN

Didn’t want what?

MARTIN

You know… women… sex.

DONOVAN

(laughs)

Fuck no. Can’t even imagine that shit.

MARTIN

Think about it -- what if it was the other way around? Like, if women were all aggressive and shit.

DONOVAN

(confused)

Dude -- what the hell are you talking about?

MARTIN

What if we didn’t wanna fuck, but they did!

DONOVAN

(beat)

Why would you not wanna fuck!?

MARTIN

(irritated)

I’m not saying I don’t -- I’m saying what if guys were like –- asexual.

DONOVAN

(beat)

Are you gay? Is that what you’re trying to tell me?

(fixes his eyes on Martin’s pink tie)

Martin notices Donovan looking at his tie, and it makes him self-conscious. He holds it, lifts it up a little and looks at it too.

MARTIN

Fuck you, dude.

DONOVAN

(laughs)

I didn’t say anything.

MARTIN

Whatever, man.

EXT. AUBREY’S WORKPLACE (BOOKSTORE) - DAY

Large bookstore in a fancy shopping area. Shoppers are walking around.

INT. AUBREY’S WORKPLACE (BOOKSTORE) - DAY

The store is not very busy. A few people are browsing around.

AUBREY, Donovan’s girlfriend, is standing at a customer service desk along with her coworker & friend, KAYLA (early 30s).

Aubrey is typing on a computer while Kayla is texting. Aubrey is very attractive, yet she dresses conventionally. She gets jealous about Donovan easily and it makes her hot headed.

Kayla is less attractive than Aubrey, and often she is jealous of her. She is single, outspoken and bossy.

Aubrey scans the store, wondering why they aren’t getting much business.

AUBREY

(to Kayla)

You know, Kayla… sometimes I wonder how this place gets any business. I mean, who reads these days?

KAYLA

I read an article about penguins on

Facebook last night.

AUBREY

(cynical)

That’s… great?

KAYLA

Well, Aubrey… sorry I don’t have your hot boyfriend to hang out with every night.

AUBREY

(stares at Kayla with jealous anger)

Hey!

KAYLA

Just saying… I ain’t getting any lately.

You --

(smiles and points at Aubrey)

--are a lucky one, missy.

AUBREY

(beat)

What happened to that guy you were seeing?

KAYLA

(frustrated)

Oh well… I had to let him go. He was just too -- too weird for me.

AUBREY

Weird how?

KAYLA

He was --

(disgusted)

--clingy.

AUBREY

(empathic)

Aww… I’m sorry.

KAYLA

Men these days... they’re too needy. All they want is sex, motherly attention, or both. I mean geez… they might as well masturbate and live with their mothers if they’re gonna act that way.

AUBREY

That’s awful. Sometimes my boyfriend is that way too. Men… they’re just like dogs, or little boys.

KAYLA

If only they could cope and just be themselves… wouldn’t that be wonderful?

AUBREY

Speaking of ‘wonderful’…

Aubrey’s eyes follow something across the store that just got her attention. She stops typing.

AUBREY

(sarcastic)

I think I just found another reason for why this store is still in business.

Kayla looks towards whatever Aubrey is focusing on.

A CREEPY MAN (30s) is standing behind a YOUNG WOMAN (20s) and pretending to be interested in a book, but really, he’s checking her out. She notices him.

CREEPY MAN

(to young woman)

Hi…

YOUNG WOMAN

(awkward)

Ok…

(turns around and walks away)

The creepy man looks at her as she leaves, disappointed.

KAYLA

(to Aubrey)

Poor girl. What a creep!

EXT. DONOVAN & AUBREY’S HOUSE-EVENING

Decent looking blue collar suburban home. SOUNDS OF MOANING (OS).

INT. DONOVAN & AUBREY’S HOUSE, BEDROOM - EVENING

Donovan is lying in bed in a t-shirt and sweat pants, eating Doritos and ridiculously concentrating on his phone.

Obviously, he’s watching porn.

CUT TO

EXT. DONOVAN & AUBREY’S HOUSE - EVENING

Aubrey PULLS IN the driveway. She drives a crappy car. She parks and enters the house.

INT. DONOVAN’S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Aubrey hears the MOANS coming out of the bedroom. Angry, she marches to the bedroom.

INT. DONOVAN & AUBREY’S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

Aubrey opens the door and catches Donovan off-guard watching porn. Donovan quickly shuts the porn and improvises an excuse.

AUBREY

(angry)

Donovan –- what the fuck!? Again!? I thought we agreed that you will stop watching porn -- especially in our house!

DONOVAN

(defensive)

What!? That was nothing baby, I was just watching a movie!

Aubrey, in authoritative mode, walks toward him, her upper body hovering over him in a threatening way while he lays in bed.

AUBREY

Oh really!? In what kind of movie does a girl moan and yell like that?

DONOVAN

Ok baby… it might have been just -- a little bit pornographic.

AUBREY

No shit!

(slaps his face)

DONOVAN

(hurting)

Ouch!

AUBREY

You stupid idiot! This is the third time I catch you watching porn!

DONOVAN

Baby I just wanted to get myself horny before you got here, you know -- to prepare myself so when you get here --

AUBREY

--Shut up. Your excuses are so dumb sometimes, I swear to God.

Aubrey turns around, about to leave the room. She’s sick of being in this situation over and over again.

Donovan gets out of bed and hugs Aubrey from behind, trying to rectify the situation.

DONOVAN

I love you baby.

AUBREY

(beat)

I love you too.

Aubrey turns around and makes out with Donovan. As much as she hates it when he makes her angry, she still loves him.

DONOVAN

I’m sorry baby.

Aubrey pushes him on the bed and gets in bed with him. She then pulls her shirt off. In her pants and bra, she crawls toward him, grabs his crotch gently, and doesn’t let go.

AUBREY

(sexy voice)

Do me, naughty boy.

DONOVAN

(horny)

Hell yeah!

AUBREY

(squeezes his crotch)

You better stop watching that shit babe.

DONOVAN

(yells)

Yes! I’ll stop.

AUBREY

Good.

Aubrey releases his crotch and makes out with him passionately, while having a conversation with him.

DONOVAN

You know what will really turn me on…?

AUBREY

(horny)

Tell me baby.

DONOVAN

If we had another woman come --

AUBREY

(irritated)

--No!

DONOVAN

Please…?

AUBREY

I’ll never agree to that. Now quit talking about that and kiss me again.

They continue to make out. You’d think Aubrey’s reaction would be more hostile, but she’s got used to Donovan’s constant sexual requests.

INT. DONOVAN & AUBREY’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Donovan and Aubrey are lying in bed after they had sex, satisfied. The argument is behind them at this point.

AUBREY

(satisfied)

Oh Donovan… you keep amazing me every time.

DONOVAN

(proud of himself)

You make me amaze you every time.

AUBREY

The ladies at your office better take their hungry eyes off of you pretty soon, because --

(grabs his chin, and turn his face towards hers)

--You’re mine.

DONOVAN

What can I say -- I’m a magnet.

AUBREY

Maybe I should go there with you, walk around holding a baseball bat and make sure nobody takes you away from me. That sexy vibe you give and your sexy smile

attracts women to you like a bunch of hungry kittens.

DONOVAN

Kittens?

AUBREY

Yes, kittens. They go

(mimics a cat)

‘meow’.

(kisses him and scans him up and down)

Yummy.

EXT. DONOVAN’S & AUBREY’S HOUSE, FRONT YARD - DAY

Donovan is MOWING THE LAWN in his PJs and slippers. It is a nice sunny day.

Aubrey is standing by the front door in a bathrobe. She is sipping on a coffee and following Donovan with her eyes as he mows the lawn.

Donovan notices his ATTRACTIVE NEIGHBOR(30s). She has a big ass, and she’s wearing tight short pants and a tight T-shirt, bending over the trunk of her car and pulling out grocery bags, exposing a thong.

Aubrey notices Donovan checking the neighbor out. She rolls her eyes in frustration.

AUBREY

(frustrated)

Geez…

Donovan notices Aubrey caught him in the act, and immediately looks the other way, playing innocent. Then, he notices an odd-looking meteorite on the ground, and turns off the lawn mower. The meteorite is definitely worth his attention.

It’s black and green, and just odd looking. It doesn’t fit with its surroundings at all. He picks it up, examining it. Then, he feels a sudden, very quick JOLT in his crotch.

DONOVAN

(hurting)

Ouch -- fuck!

He stands there for a beat, surprised, but quickly disregards it as if he was just imagining it. He then walks towards Aubrey, holding the rock.

(to Aubrey)

Babe! Check this out.

AUBREY

(sarcastic)

I’ve already seen the neighbor’s ass,

Donovan.

DONOVAN

(plays innocent)

What!? No! I just found this, come check it out!

AUBREY

(apathetic)

Eh.

(goes back in the house)

DONOVAN

Whatever.

Disappointed by her reaction, he tosses the meteorite sideways. It lands in a bush. Then, he feels his crotch with his hands, making sure it doesn’t hurt.

INT. DONOVAN’S CAR - MORNING

Donovan is Driving to work, passing by the billboard featuring the super model in bikini.

Donovan looks at the billboard, as part of his daily routine when he drives to work. He is not excited at all this time, as if something doesn’t seem right to him. He

does not feel aroused at all, but he can’t understand why he’s not feeling aroused.

DONOVAN

That’s odd.

INT. DONOVAN’S WORKPLACE - MORNING

Donovan walks to his office, smiling and happy to be at work as always. A WOMAN smiles at him.

WOMAN

Good morning Donovan!

Donovan smiles and waves at her awkwardly. He clearly is not enjoying that type of attention like he usually does and it causes the woman to get a puzzled look on her face.

INT. DONOVAN’S OFFICE – DAY

Donovan enters and turns his computer on.

FOOTSTEPS (OS)

Ruth, Donovan’s coworker who works in the Todëra lab, is about to enter Donovan’s office. She has a cleavage, like usual. Right before she enters the office, she adjusts her boobs to look good for Donovan.

Donovan spots her walking to the door through his office’s glass wall. Their eyes meet. He doesn’t even bother to look at her cleavage.

She smiles at him and waves. He waves back awkwardly and tries to smile. She notices he is not looking at her cleavage, making her think there is something wrong.

RUTH

Good morning Don.

DONOVAN

(laughs)

Don?

RUTH

What, you don’t like it? I thought it’d be a good nickname for you. I think its… sexy.

DONOVAN

(awkward)

My full name sounds great to me.

RUTH

(offended)

Ok then…

(beat)

Is everything ok?

DONOVAN

(smiles)

Yes! Why do you ask?

RUTH

(beat)

No reason.

She leaves Donovan’s office. She can’t understand why

Donovan showed zero attraction to her. She is not used to rejection at all, and she not used to not getting sexual attention.

Ashley is walking to Donovan’s office for her daily chit chat. She passes by Ruth at the door and notices her leaving with a frustrated look on her face while she adjusts her boobs again. She then enters Donovan’s office.

Ashley waits for him to notice her, but he’s focused on his computer. Then, she TAPS on the wall, and he notices her.

ASHLEY

(smiles)

What was that about?

DONOVAN

Oh --

(laughs)

--Ruth called me ‘Don’.

ASHLEY

Well… someone’s got a crush on you. And if you ask me…

(sexy voice)

that crush has been around for a long time.

DONOVAN

(uncomfortable laughter)

Ok…

ASHLEY

Aww… don’t you think she’s cute?

DONOVAN

Perhaps she is…

Ashley walks behind Donovan’s Desk and notices his computer screen.

There’s a browser window open with the Lego website on. Ashley points at the screen.

ASHLEY

(puzzled)

Lego?

DONOVAN

(looks at her, smiling)

My favorite!

ASHLEY

Hmm… since when?

DONOVAN

Since always. Just realized I buried my passion for it too long ago, and it’s time to bring it back! Anyways… I got some actual work to do.

He clicks on his mouse, and looks back at the computer.

ASHLEY

Ok… see you later hot stuff!

(blows a kiss, and about to walk out)

DONOVAN

(uncomfortable)

Yes… you too.

Ashley gets a puzzled look on her face while she walks out.

She also can’t figure out why Donovan isn’t flirting with her.

INT. AUBREY’S WORK - DAY

Aubrey and Kayla are chit chatting at the customer service desk. There are large numbers of men everywhere browsing for books and it gets their attention.

KAYLA

(scans the store)

Wow, pretty busy for a Tuesday afternoon…

AUBREY

I know, right? all these dudes are shopping here lately -- dudes, just chilling at a bookstore.

A REDNECK with a thick southern accent approaches them and smiles.

AUBREY

(to the redneck)

Hi! How can I help you?

REDNECK

I’m lookin’ for a guide for studying

Polish.

Aubrey scans him up and down, questioning. The redneck does not seem like the type of guy who would study a language, especially a random one like Polish.

AUBREY

Polish?

REDNECK

You bet! I tell you what -- it’s a beautiful language. Lately I’ve been wonderin’ on why is it that I’ve never made an effort to learn myself a sec’nd language and broadn’ ma’ horizon, you know?

Aubrey and Kayla look at each other, puzzled.

AUBREY

(points to the book’s location)

It should be over there, right by the

Spanish guides.

MAN

Thanks, hun!

(walks away)

Aubrey sighs and then starts typing on the computer.

KAYLA

Weird, huh?

AUBREY

If only that was the only weird going on in my life.

KAYLA

What’s going on?

AUBREY

Boyfriend… has wondering eyes.

KAYLA

(pretends to not be interested)

Oh -- sorry I asked!

AUBREY

Nah, you’re fine. He’s always been… that way.

KAYLA

Well, actually… if he’s checking out other women, why don’t you join me and my cousin Samantha on Friday night? We’re going to ‘Habits’.

AUBREY

(negative)

I dunno…

KAYLA

Common, it’ll be fun! Hot guys everywhere… maybe one of them will lay his wondering eyes on --

(points at Aubrey)

--you.

AUBREY

(pictures Kayla’s description and smiles)

I can role with that.

KAYLA

See? There ya go! You’ll love it.

Kayla notices a young loser-looking MAN walking around, looking like he can’t find something. She approaches him.

KAYLA

Sir, can I help you?

MAN

(shy)

I’m looking for Japanese cookbooks.

KAYLA

(to herself)

Weirdo…

MAN

What?

KAYLA

Sure! let’s go find that for ya!

INT. DONOVAN’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Aubrey and Donovan are lying in bed. The lights are out. Donovan is tired, trying to sleep. Aubrey is horny and she needs sex.

AUBREY

(low voice)

Baby…

DONOVAN

(yawns)

Yes?

Aubrey THRUSTS towards Donovan and gropes him.

AUBREY

Common…

DONOVAN

Not tonight babe…

AUBREY

(angry)

Did you masturbate to porn again?

DONOVAN

No! I think I ate something weird at work.

I’m not feeling good.

AUBREY (angry)

Donovan -- this is the second time you

‘ate something weird at work’.

DONOVAN (defensive)

I’m sorry -- I’ll talk to my boss about it tomorrow. He needs to talk to the maintenance people and make sure the fridge --

(yawns) --That the fridge --

AUBREY (irritated)

--Ok. Goodnight then.

(roles over, angry)

INT. DONOVAN’S CAR, DRIVING - MORNING

Donovan is driving to work and listening to POP MUSIC. He stops at a red light. From the corner of his eye, he notices another driver making gestures towards him. He looks sideways and sees a middle aged female driver making sexy gestures with her mouth, as if she’s giving him a blow job.

DONOVAN

(disgusted)

Eww -- really!? Jesus, lady!

She laughs and makes a ‘call me’ gesture. Then, the light turns green. Donovan changes the channel and drives.

RADIO ANCHOR (OS)

A student at the University of Utah was allegedly gang raped by two female students. According to University of Utah police, this is just one case in a series of --

DONOVAN

--What!?

RADIO ANCHOR (OS)

--increasing female on male violence on campus –-

DONOVAN

--Fuck…

Donovan turns the radio off.

INT. DONOVAN’S OFFICE - DAY

Donovan is working on his computer. His phone BEEPS, and he picks his phone up.

Donovan sees a text from Aubrey.

Text: Babe…

Donovan texts Aubrey back.

Text: Yes?

After a few seconds, he receives a picture from Aubrey: it’s a selfie of her naked upper body. She is covering her nipples with one arm. He makes a repulsed facial expression. He does not find that attractive. At this point, he’s not even noticing that he lost his attraction towards women. He texts back.

Text: Ok…

CUT TO

INT. AUBREY’S WORKPLACE - DAY

Aubrey is standing behind the customer service desk, looking at her phone, and receives Donovan’s ‘ok’ text.

AUBREY

(frustrated)

Faggot.

At this point she thinks that something is up with

Donovan’s unusual behavior.

INT. DONOVAN’S LIVING ROOM - EVENING

Typical living room with a couch, a coffee table and a large screen TV. Donovan is sitting on the couch.

Donovan is building a Lego spaceship while the TV IS PLAYING in the background with a baseball game on.

Aubrey enters the living room. She is wearing lingerie. She leans on the wall, acting sexy. She can’t see what Donovan is doing from her standpoint. She is determined to have sex with him again, and growing increasingly impatient.

AUBREY

(sexy voice)

Baby…

DONOVAN

(beat)

(doesn’t turn around, busy)

Yes?

AUBREY

(frustrated)

Seriously… watching TV? Come to bed with me.

DONOVAN

I’m a little occupied -- I’ll be there in a few.

AUBREY

(irritated, walks towards him)

What are you doing anyways…

Aubrey discovers that Donovan is building a Lego spaceship instead of having sex with her.

AUBREY

(mad)

What is this?

DONOVAN

(smiles)

I’m building a space ship.

AUBREY

At midnight!?

DONOVAN

What’s wrong with that? You know how much

I love Lego.

AUBREY

(mad, high pitched voice)

Yeah! When you were 11, Not 31! You should be more interested in, hmm I dunno --

(points at her body)

--Me!?

DONOVAN

(innocent)

I don’t understand why you’re so mad --

AUBREY

--You know what?

(points at Donovan when saying ‘fuck’)

Fuck you, And fuck your toys!

Aubrey marches off to bed, mad.

DONOVAN

(beat)

(apathetic)

Hmm. That was weird.

Donovan resumes building the spaceship.

INT. DONOVAN’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Aubrey is lying in bed in the dark and looking at her phone.

She is browsing Tinder, and selects men ‘searching for women’ 5 miles from her zip code. The search results show nothing. There are no men on Tinder in that area.

AUBREY

That’s odd.

This time, she changes the search settings to ‘men searching for women’ 20 miles away from her zip code. Again, no results. She gets angry and her fingers become more aggressive with the phone. She then sets the search for men searching for women 50 miles from her zip code, and the results remains the same.

AUBREY

(mad)

What the fuck!?

She tosses the phone on the night stand and goes to sleep.

INT. ‘HABITS’ BAR - NIGHT

Typical bar/club. One thing sticks out-there are no men at the bar but the bartenders. It is crowded with loud, horny women.

Aubrey, Kayla and her cousin SAMANTHA (mid 20s) are drinking at the bar. They are in high spirits, but irritated. Samantha is drunk and trashy. LOUD DANCE MUSIC is playing.

AUBREY

(sarcastic)

So… this is fun…?

Samantha looks around, swinging her drink in a drunk way as she scans the bar.

SAMANTHA

Where the fuck are the guys? There are no guys here… not even ugly ones. This bar sucks!

Kayla is watching out for drunk Samantha.

KAYLA

Hey, take it easy! Now look at the bartender -- he’s a good-looking guy.

The girls stare at the bartender. Kayla bites her lips.

The BARTENDER serves a drink to a DRUNK HORNY GIRL. She tries to touch his arm, but he dodges her.

DRUNK HORNY GIRL

What are you gay or something?

BARTENDER

(disgusted, but polite)

Please don’t touch me.

AUBREY

Wow… maybe he is gay.

(beat)

My boyfriend didn’t fuck me in 6 weeks.

SAMANTHA

(empathic)

Aww… I’m soo sorry

Samantha hugs Aubrey while pouring her drink on her. Aubrey is uncomfortable, and it shows on her face while Kayla takes Samantha’s drink away from her and pulls her arms away from Aubrey.

KAYLA

(to Samantha)

Jesus! Watch yourself, Samantha!

(to Aubrey, apologetic)

I’m so sorry!

SAMANTHA

(to Aubrey)

I’d let your boyfriend fuck me any time.

AUBREY

(offended)

Excuse me!?

SAMANTHA

(laughs)

What? I checked him out on Facebook.

(beat)

Kayla gives Samantha her drink back, and Aubrey overthinks

Samantha’s comment.

AUBREY

Actually, I wish he did try to fuck other girls. At first I thought he was having an affair, but I was so wrong. He’s not sneaking around, not watching porn, and he won’t even sext me. How crazy is that?

SAMANTHA

Maybe he’s gay too.

(laughs)

KAYLA

Speaking of gay, check this out --

Kayla pulls out her phone and shows it to Samantha and Aubrey.

SAMANTHA

What?

KAYLA

There are no guys on Tinder. I thought it was broken, so I emailed them and they

replied back saying that they’ve been experiencing a ‘weak sales period’. That doesn’t even make sense.

AUBREY

(pretends to be surprised)

Oh wow…

Aubrey is starting to realize that Donovan’s behavior isn’t unique to him.

SAMANTHA

Maybe men are on strike.

(laughs loud from her joke)

(beat)

AUBREY

Fuck this shit. Let’s go outside.

KAYLA

(to Samantha, firmly)

Common.

Kayla pulls drunk Samantha out of her seat and walks her out.

INT. DONOVAN’S HOUSE, BEDROOM – NIGHT

Donovan is looking at his phone, looking bored and frustrated. PORN is playing (OS) We can tell that he’s trying to masturbate, but the porn isn’t getting him hard.

DONOVAN

(frustrated)

What the fuck…?

He turns the porn off, puts the phone away and gets in bed for the night. His hand is sore from the masturbating effort, and he shakes it in pain. After years of masturbating, he suddenly cannot understand why would someone hurt their hand solely for the pleasure of masturbation.

DONOVAN

Jesus…

EXT. ‘HABITS’ BAR - NIGHT

Aubrey, Kayla and Samantha are standing outside the bar. It is chilly outside. Sounds of CARS and PEOPLE PASSING (OS)

Samantha is smoking a cigarette while Aubrey is looking at her doing it, tempted to smoke. Kayla is staring at a random spot, bored.

AUBREY

(to Samantha)

You know what? Give me one of those.

KAYLA

No!

(to Samantha)

Do not give her a cigarette.

SAMANTHA

(to Kayla)

Fuck you, Kayla.

Samantha is just about to pull out a cigarette, when they get distracted by-

YOUNG MAN SCREEMING (OS)

A young man RUNS across the street in a torn t-shirt, terrified. He is running away from something, or someone.

They don’t understand what he’s running away from, until they see 2 WOMEN CHASING him.

WOMAN #1

(yelling)

Come back here!!

WOMAN #2

(yelling)

You better stop running, boy!

The young man and the women disappear around the corner and away from Aubrey, Kayla and Samantha’s view.

The girls are having a hard time understanding what just happened. After all, how often does one witness women chasing a man down the street and trying to rape him?

(beat)

AUBREY

(shocked)

What the fuck just happened?

(beat)

KAYLA

Fuck me if I know.

(beat)

SAMANTHA

(laughs)

Bitches just need some dick, that’s all.

KAYLA

Hey! Obviously that young gentleman was not interested.

SAMANTHA

Gimme a break…

AUBREY

Actually, he didn’t seem interested at all.

KAYLA

Should we call the cops?

AUBREY

I could use some dick myself.

KAYLA

(beat)

Fuck it. Let’s go home.

INT. DONOVAN AND AUBREY’S HOUSE, BEDROOM - NIGHT

Donovan is lying in bed, sleeping. Suddenly, the bedroom light is turned on.

Aubrey is standing by the bedroom door, wearing lingerie.

AUBREY

(sexy voice)

Hey baby…

(beat)

Donovan slowly wakes up, rubbing his eyes. After a few beats, he finally notices Aubrey.

DONOVAN

(unfocused & tired)

What’s going on?

AUBREY

I have a surprise for you.

Before Donovan manages to form a response, she walks outside the room, and comes back right way with Samantha. She is wearing lingerie too, and she is still super-drunk. Now, they’re both standing by the bed, in arms reach from Donovan.

SAMANTHA

(checks Donovan out, smiling)

Hey stud…

(unhooks her bra)

DONOVAN

(nervous)

Who are you?

(to Aubrey, points at Samantha)

Who is this?

AUBREY

This is my friend Samantha. Do you like her?

Samantha smiles and lets her bra fall off.

DONOVAN

(looks sideways and covers his eyes)

What the fuck!!??

AUBREY

Relax baby… I know you always wanted this.

Just let it happen…

Now that Donovan realizes what is happening, he becomes fully alert and has no intention of sleeping with Aubrey and/or Samantha.

DONOVAN

(angry)

Let what happen? Get this woman out of my room!

Aubrey pins Donovan to the bed while Samantha tries to pull his pants off. The bed RATTLES.

DONOVAN

(resists and yells)

No!!! No!!!

SAMANTHA

Just let me take it off!

AUBREY

You know you want it!

Donovan overcomes them and runs out of the room.

DONOVAN

(traumatized, yelling)

Leave me alone you crazy bitches!

EXT. DONOVAN & AUBREY’S HOUSE - DAY

A UPS truck is parked by the house. A UPS DELIVERY MAN walks up to the door, holding a package. He KNOCKS on the door.

Aubrey answers the door. She is wearing a bathrobe. She is horny and angry because of Donovan’s refusal to have a

3some with her and Samantha.

At this point, she just wants sex. She doesn’t give a fuck.

AUBREY

(horny, checking him out)

Well well… what kind of goods are you bringing me today?

UPS DELIVERY MAN

(laughs, hands Aubrey a pen and a clipboard)

Sign here please.

AUBREY

(grabs his arm)

I’ll give you something to sign on --

UPS DELIVERY MAN

(jumps back, scared and yells)

No!!! No!!!

He turns around frustrated, leaving the pen & clipboard with Aubrey and walks quickly back to his truck. Just like Donovan, he doesn’t want any sexual contact whatsoever.

UPS DELIVERY MAN

(mad, to himself)

Third time this week -- Fuck this job!

AUBREY

(frustrated)

Uuuhhh!!! Seriously!?

(slams the door)

INT. DONOVAN’S WORKPLACE - DAY

Donovan is working in his office, still traumatized from Aubrey trying to get him to participate in a threesome. He gets distracted when-

DOOR SHUTS (OS)

Ruth is in the office. She is smiling a naughty smile at Donovan, yet looks nervous at the same time. She is clearly up to no good. As always, she is showing cleavage.

Before Donovan starts talking, Ruth quickly walks closer to Donovan. She leans over his desk, getting her boobs less than a foot away from Donovan’s face.

Donovan is confused and wondering why she’s there. He is intimidated by the fact that her boobs are close to his face, and he leans back, remaining that way throughout the conversation.

DONOVAN

(surprised, uncomfortable)

Ah! Oh –- hi -- Ruth -- how can I help you?

RUTH

(laughs)

Why so jumpy? I thought you enjoyed my company.

DONOVAN

I do, I really do -- but you work in the lab and I’m a little busy at the moment.

RUTH

So… is that a problem?

(touches Donovan’s arm)

DONOVAN

(looks at his arm)

Wh -- Why are you touching my arm?

RUTH

(caresses his arm)

Just relax, Donovan… I know you like it.

DONOVAN

Like what?

RUTH

This.

(her hand goes down to his crotch)

Donovan pushes his seat back, and BAAM! it HITS the wall. Ruth walks closer to him. He is trapped.

DONOVAN

Hey hey hey… what are you doing?

RUTH

(gets closer to him, mad)

Shut up! Pull your cock out for me.

(beat)

DONOVAN

(shocked)

What!? No!!

Ruth gets down on her knees, grabs his legs and tries to pull his pants off while Donovan STRUGGLES to release himself from her grip. She is freakishly strong.

RUTH

(struggling)

You can’t just sit here every day, all hot with your hotness, and expect me to just stay put! Someone must enjoy you --

DONOVAN

(struggles to get away from her, yells)

Help!!! Help!!!

Mark rushes in the office. He stands there, staring and shocked, digesting the bizarre image in front of him and not knowing how to respond. After a few seconds, he regains his self-control. He grabs Ruth and pulls her away from Donovan, holding her like people do when they separate people during a fight.

Donovan is traumatized and he’s breathing heavily. He is sitting in his chair, holding its arms as if he’d die if he were to leave the chair.

MARK

(to Ruth)

What the hell is going on here?

Donovan points at Ruth and takes a deep breath.

DONOVAN

She’s a pervert!

MARK

(to Ruth, pointing at the door)

Get out! You’re fired, Out you go!

RUTH

(to Mark, defensive)

He was asking for it!

She releases herself from Mark’s grip and walks out.

(beat)

MARK

(breathing heavily, to Donovan)

Are you ok?

Donovan is looking down at the floor, still processing what just happened.

DONOVAN

(shocked)

I can’t believe this just happened… women are pigs.

(beat)

They’re just pigs.

MARK

(lays a hand on his shoulder, in a fatherly tone)

You’re ok buddy. She won’t hurt you anymore.

EXT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT

SLC police station. SIRENS are going off. Lots of policemen and civilians are walking around.

INT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT

Donovan and Aubrey are sitting at a desk, reporting

Donovan’s attempted rape. Donovan is traumatized, writing his report. Aubrey is sitting by Donovan, worried.

AUBREY

Donovan, I’m sorry about what happened the other night. I really am.

DONOVAN

(distracted)

No worries. I just wasn’t in the mood, that’s all.

POLICE OFFICER enters, holding a document folder and a pen. He is a goofy guy who likes to joke a lot. He sits in front of Donovan and Aubrey and lays the folder on the desk. He opens the folder, scans the papers with his eyes and writes a few words while WHISTLING. He finally turns to Donovan.

POLICE OFFICER

(casually)

So -- coworker tried to rape ya?

DONOVAN

(clears his throat)

Yes sir. Like I said before, she was pretty aggressive about it. And surprisingly strong.

Aubrey rolls her eyes.

POLICE OFFICER

(scratches his head)

Normally, I’d look at a report like yours and tell you to go take a dump…

AUBREY

What?

POLICE OFFICER

Because you’re full of it!

(laughs, then stops)

Sorry, bad joke. However, we’ve been receiving many reports lately on women molesting, raping, stalking, you name it.

AUBREY

(skeptical)

Really?

POLICE OFFICER

You bet. Weird, huh?

(laughs)

Maybe I should file a complaint about my wife… and her --

(scared)

--sister.

The police officer sits there and thinks. His face gets serious and he seems worried. He TAPS on the desk with his pen like a drum. Finally, he gets his focus back.

POLICE OFFICER

I apologize, I’ve been ramblin’ on ya.

Just let me know when you’re done. K?

DONOVAN

Sounds good.

Police officer Leaves.

(beat)

AUBREY

Donovan…

DONOVAN

Yes?

AUBREY

(beat)

Are you gay?

DONOVAN

(defensive)

No! Weird time to ask that -- don’t you think?

AUBREY

It’s just… you haven’t been yourself lately. Not wanting sex, and now complaining because someone else wanted to have sex with you. It’s not normal for you.

DONOVAN

I don’t want sex. I don’t see what the big deal is.

AUBREY

(loud)

It is a big deal!

(beat)

(lowers her voice)

We haven’t had sex in months.

DONOVAN

It’s just sex!

(gets a disgusted look on his face)

(emotional)

You know, sometimes I feel like I got eyes, womanly eyes, all over me. It’s gross. I’m not a-- piece of meat, ok? I’m a human being, and I deserve the dignity and respect that come with that. It’s not my fault that there are disgusting, uncontrollable women in this world --

AUBREY

(irritated)

Ok, calm down! Geez…

Donovan sobs.

AUBREY

I’m sorry, Donovan. Let’s just go home.

INT. DONOVAN’S CAR, DRIVING - NIGHT

Donovan and Aubrey are driving back home from the police station. Donovan is driving and Aubrey is sitting by him, having deep thoughts. Awkward silence.

AUBREY

At least it’s not just you. Maybe there’s a plague.

(laughs)

DONOVAN

(looks at Aubrey)

What are you talking about?

AUBREY

Let’s just say… you’re not the only guy acting this way. At least you’re not cheating on me.

DONOVAN

(insulted)

I would never cheat on you.

AUBREY

(sarcastic)

Great! Will you fuck me when we get home?

DONOVAN

(hesitant)

Ehh…

Aubrey sighs and looks out the window.

AUBREY

(beat)

(loses it)

Fuck!!! Fuck!!! Fuck!!!

DONOVAN

Hey, relax!

AUBREY

No, you relax! I just wanna get fucked, and nobody will do it! Nobody! What the fuck is going on!?

(sobs)

Donovan turns the radio on. He can’t do anything to answer Aubrey’s frustrations, and neither could anybody else.

RADIO ANCHOR (OS)

Students at the University of Utah have been issued a warning in regards to a female groper on the loose. According to reports, a white female, possibly in her

30s and about 5’5 tall, has been seen at the University library --

Traffic SLOWS DOWN, and Donovan and Aubrey find themselves driving by a DEMONSTRATION. Sounds of HORNS HONKING (OS).

Aubrey turns the radio off.

The demonstration is all female and there is lots of YELLING and ANGER. Several topless WOMEN are holding a banner saying ‘please fuck me’. Many of the protestors are wearing pussy hats. There are even a few Muslim women in

Hijab’s.

POLICEMEN are standing between the demonstrators and the general public. Bizarre situation.

SIREN LIGHTS hit the inside of Donovan’s car, lighting up Donovan and Aubrey’s faces.

AUBREY

(shocked)

Holy shit…

DONOVAN

This is insane.

(beat)

(sees the topless women)

Eww, seriously? They’re in public.

AUBREY

So what? It’s just breasts.

DONOVAN

‘Just breasts’!? It’s repulsive.

Aubrey rolls her eyes.

Women CHANT ‘we –- want -- cock!’ (OS)

DONOVAN

(impatient)

Common!

(honks)

INT. DONOVAN’S WORK, MEETING ROOM - DAY

Mark is talking to Donovan and about a dozen other employees about Donovan’s harassment. It’s an awkward

meeting. As the conversation advances, it becomes INTENSE and LOUD.

MARK

(awkward)

You’re probably wondering what we’re all doing here.

(beat)

Well… One of your fellow co-workers has been…

(clears his throat)

Forced upon by a fellow coworker. A female coworker, if I may add.

The men in the room look around nervously.

Ashley raises her hand.

MARK

(notices Ashley raising her hand)

Yes, Ashley.

ASHLEY

Who was it?

DONOVAN

(nervous)

Does it matter?

ASHLEY

I’m just curious --

MARK

(to Ashley)

Do you think this is a joke?

ASHLEY

What’s the big deal? If you ask me, he probably asked for it.

DONOVAN

(offended)

Excuse me!?

A MALE EMPLOYEE (feminine voice) interrupts.

MALE EMPLOYEE

(to Ashley)

I know this might be a little difficult for you to understand, Ashley, but we’re not pieces of meat. We have feelings, and we don’t appreciate it when we’re approached in a rude way and treated like gigolos.

DONOVAN

(to male employee)

Thank you.

FEMALE EMPLOYEE

Maybe some men in this company should stop wearing short sleeve shirts. It’s pretty distracting.

MALE EMPLOYEE

(angry)

So you suggest we ban short sleeve shirts?

Who do think you are -- Donald Trump?

DONOVAN

I will wear whatever makes me feel comfortable. It’s not my fault you can’t control your hormones.

MALE EMPLOYEE

(to Donovan)

Amen.

ASHLEY

You guys are ridiculous.

MALE EMPLOYEE

You’re a horrible person!

ASHLEY

Whatever.

MARK

(loud)

Hey! Enough! Can we please, just calm down?

FEMALE EMPLOYEE

I’ll calm you down.

(winks at Mark)

Mark closes his eyes, and buries his face in his hands.

MARK

Oh my God…

INT. DONOVAN’S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - EVENING

Donovan and Aubrey are sitting on the couch, watching TV. They are sitting on opposite sides of the couch, not touching each other. It is a sad, intense evening for both of them.

Donovan is flipping channels slowly. In one of the channels, a TV ANCHOR talks about the ‘penis strike’.

The ‘Penis Strike’ is the name the media chose to call the growing phenomenon of men losing interest in sex.

TV SCREEN

TV ANCHOR

Tens of thousands of women across the United States are protesting tonight against what’s widely known as the ‘penis strike’.

AUBREY

(suddenly interested)

The what?

Donovan points the remote at the TV, ready to change the channel again. He just wants to change the channels for the fun of it.

AUBREY

(looks at Donovan)

Don’t! I wanna watch this.

DONOVAN

All right.

(puts the remote down)

PROTESTING, LOUD women are on TV with the underlying title

‘The Penis Strike’.

AUBREY

(frustrated)

This sucks.

Aubrey gets a sad look on her face. Donovan notices her.

DONOVAN

(empathetic)

What’s wrong?

AUBREY

(frustrated)

You know what I’m talking about. I can’t wait for this shit to be over already.

DONOVAN

(gets up)

Ok, no more TV.

(turns the TV off)

Let’s do something.

AUBREY

(curious)

Like what?

DONOVAN

We can make Sushi together. It’s been forever since we’ve done it.

AUBREY

(smiles)

I’d like that.

INT. DONOVAN’S HOUSE, KITCHEN - NIGHT

Donovan is in the kitchen, eating Sushi with Aubrey and drinking Saki. The kitchen looks messy, but Aubrey and Donovan are having fun.

Donovan points at the sushi in his hand.

DONOVAN

This is some good fucking Sushi.

AUBREY

I know right!?

(beat)

Why did we ever stop doing this together?

DONOVAN

(laughs)

I dunno!

(raises a glass, mimicking a Japanese accent)

Saki?

AUBREY

(excited)

Woohoo!

(raises a glass)

EXT. DONOVAN’S NEIBHBORHOOD – NIGHT

It is quiet & dark outside. Crickets are CHIRPING (OS). Donovan and Aubrey are taking a walk. They’re drunk. Aubrey is holding Donovan’s arm.

DONOVAN

This is nice.

AUBREY

Just pay attention to where we’re walking -- so we won’t get lost, k? I’m too –-drunk --

(laughs)

--to notice where we are.

DONOVAN

(laughs)

I drank more than you babe. I can’t pay attention to shit.

(beat)

Remember how we got lost in the Spanish Fork canyon?

AUBREY

(laughs hysterically)

Yes! Omigod you were so dumb:

(mimics Donovan)

‘Babe -- the GPS is wrong! It’s wrong!’

DONOVAN

It was wrong!

Aubrey laughs even harder.

(beat)

AUBREY

Babe… when will we have sex again?

DONOVAN

(uncomfortable)

Honestly -– I dunno.

(beat)

I still love you… just not in that way. But it makes you feel any better -- I really hope I will wanna do it again soon.

AUBREY

Really?

DONOVAN

Yes! I can tell how much not having sex upsets you. I want you to be happy.

AUBREY

(sarcastic)

Yeah right.

Donovan kisses Aubrey on the forehead and hugs her.

DONOVAN

It will be ok, I promise.

INT. DONOVAN & AUBREY’S HOUSE, BEDROOM - NIGHT

Donovan is passed out.

Aubrey tries to touch his crotch, but he pushes her arm away.

DONOVAN

No…

Aubrey turns over and sobs.

INT. DONOVAN’S WORKPLACE, BREAKROOM – DAY

Donovan, Mark and Martin are having lunch.

Mark is eating while reading a document. Martin is texting. Donovan is just sitting there, thinking to himself. He’s worried about the ‘penis strike’.

DONOVAN

(breaks the silence)

Can I ask you guys something personal?

MARK

(looks at Donovan)

Shoot!

MARTIN

(looks at Donovan, suspicious)

Sure…

DONOVAN (uncomfortable)

When was the last time…

(beat)

MARTIN

Last time what?

DONOVAN (continued)

The last time you had sex?

MARK

(thinks for a beat)

Man… that’s a good question.

MARTIN

Holy shit, it’s been a while.

MARK Roughly 10 months.

MARTIN

I didn’t touch my girl in forever, man. I can’t remember.

(resumes texting) (beat)

DONOVAN

Don’t you find that… odd?

MARTIN (apathetic)

I guess.

(thinks)

Sex…

Mark and Martin laugh, while Donovan thinks about, looking worried.

INT. DONOVAN’S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - EVENING

Donovan enters the house and finds Aubrey sitting on the couch, sobbing. There is a large suitcase by the couch. It seems like she is ready to leave the house. Aubrey doesn’t turn around to look at Donovan. She’s mentally prepared to leave.

Even though it is obvious to Donovan that Aubrey is upset and probably leaving somewhere, he does not want to jump right into that. Perhaps he can still rectify the situation.

Donovan walks over to the couch and sits on the opposite side of Aubrey. He knows there isn’t much he can do now that she’s leaving. After all, he doesn’t wanna sleep with her.

DONOVAN

Hey…

AUBREY

(doesn’t turn around)

Donovan?

DONOVAN

What going on?

AUBREY

(beat)

I’m leaving.

DONOVAN

What!? Why!?

AUBREY

I can’t do this anymore. If you aren’t going to give me the love I want, then -- maybe we’re not meant to be together. I’m sorry.

She gets up, grabs the suitcase and walks out. When she opens the door, she turns around.

AUBREY

Goodbye, Donovan.

Aubrey leaves.

DONOVAN

Aubrey --

EXT. DONOVAN’S HOUSE-EVENING

Donovan looks out the window as Aubrey gets in her car and leaves. He is devastated.

INT. DONOVAN’S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Donovan is sitting on the couch. He is looking at pictures of him and Aubrey on his phone. He misses her a lot. He realizes that he even though he does not feel sexual desire, he still loves her.

He then puts his phone down on the coffee table, puts his head on his fists between his knees and exhales for a long beat. He Then looks at the Lego spaceship on the coffee table, frustrated.

INT. DONOVAN & AUBREY’S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM – MORNING

Donovan is in a bathrobe, watching TV and drinking coffee.

There is a panel of experts on TV talking about the ‘penis strike’.

TV SCREEN

NEWS ANCHOR

Professor Andrew Cummings from NYU is with us tonight.

PROFESSOR CUMMINGS

It’s a pleasure to be here.

NEWS ANCHOR (OS)

Last night you were at a conference in New York, discussing the dangers of the so called ‘penis strike’. What is so dangerous about it?

PROFESSOR CUMMINGS (OS)

Well, there are actually many dangers. But from my perspective as an economist, I can definitely state that this phenomenon could hurt us economically. The male libido and desire for women is a direct cause of their drive to succeed economically. Without that, without the need to impress the opposite sex, the most basic male motivation to succeed will die. We’re talking about billions of men, all over the world –-

DONOVAN

Fuck.

INT. DONOVAN’S WORKPLACE - DAY

Donovan is sitting in his office, working.

Looking up from his desk, he sees two coworkers, ADAM another male employee, walking by, carrying large cardboard boxes. They just quit.

He gets up, walks out of his office and turns to ADAM.

DONOVAN

Adam!

ADAM

Hey buddy!

DONOVAN

(referring to the box)

What’s going on?

ADAM

I’m leaving. Just handed in my letter of resignation. Jason from accounting quit too.

DONOVAN

What!? Why!?

ADAM

(lowers his voice)

His wife just left him… if you ask me -- it looks like he doesn’t give a shit about it.

DONOVAN

And you?

ADAM

I’m going back to my old job at the grocery store.

DONOVAN

(surprised)

Throwing products on shelves? I thought you hated that job. Where’s your ambition at, man?

ADAM

(shrugs his shoulders)

Meh.

(walks away, shouting)

Woohoo!

Donovan looks at Adam as he walks away, shaking his head.

DONOVAN

Man…

INT. MARK’S OFFICE - DAY

Mark is in his office, typing on the computer.

Donovan enters. He is concerned about the two guys quitting their jobs.

DONOVAN

You got a minute?

Mark looks at Donovan, and takes a break from typing.

MARK

Hey, big D! Have a seat.

Donovan sits down.

DONOVAN

So… Adam and some guy from accounting just took off.

MARK

(disappointed)

Yeah… I know.

(beat)

(shakes his head)

Times like these, huh?

Donovan notices a weird looking black and green meteorite on Mark’s desk. It wasn’t there before.

It resembles the one he found in his yard. He’s surprised there are more rocks of that kind around. Now, the meteorite has become the focus of the conversation. He picks it up gently.

DONOVAN

(examining the meteorite)

Where did you get this?

MARK

(casual)

Oh, that weird rock? My son found it at school. He thought it was awesome –-

DONOVAN

--How long ago was that?

MARK

(thinks)

Hmmm about 3 or 4 months back.

Donovan realizes that it was around the same time he found the meteorite in his yard and about the same time he stopped being attracted to Aubrey.

He gets excited about his new finding and feels like he’s on to something.

DONOVAN

(urgent)

I gotta go.

Donovan puts the meteorite back where it was. Then he gets up, and just like that, he rushes out of the office.

Mark watches Donovan leave, surprised.

INT. AUBREY’S WORKPLACE - DAY

Aubrey is working at the cash register.

Aubrey is struggling to hide her frustration with Donovan and maintain a friendly attitude at work.

Her next customer is a BLACK MUSCULAR MAN holding a book titled ‘100 grooming styles for your cat’.

Aubrey looks at the man, looks at the book he chose, then looks at the man again. She stands there for a few seconds, trying to understand why an intimidating large man would show interest in cat-grooming.

AUBREY

(sarcastic)

Are you serious?

Kayla is putting books on a shelf nearby. She overhears

Aubrey’s bad attitude with the costumer and rushes in to save the situation.

BLACK MUSCULAR MAN

(offended)

Excuse me?

KAYLA

(to Aubrey, empathic)

I will take it from here.

(to black muscular man, apologetic)

I apologize… let me get you some help, sir.

Kayla notices another employee: JARED, a textbook example of a lazy teenage employee. He is walking by casually, whistling and texting, as if there’s nothing to do. Kayla decides to boss him around.

KAYLA

(to Jared, referring to the black muscular man)

Jared!

JARED

(wakes up from his own little world)

Uh huh?

KAYLA

Can you help this gentleman please?

JARED

Sure!

Jared takes Aubrey’s place and attends to the customer.

Aubrey and Kayla go to the break room.

AUBREY’S WORKPLACE, BREAK ROOM - DAY

Aubrey and Kayla are in the break room. Aubrey is crying. Her frustration is finally showing.

KAYLA

(sympathetic)

Honey… what’s wrong? What happened back there?

AUBREY

I moved to my parent’s house. I can’t take it anymore.

KAYLA

Come here, gimme a hug…

(hugs Aubrey)

AUBREY

(emotional)

I just want things to be the they used to be. I used to be so upset with him when he was flirting or looking at pictures of naked women. Now, no matter what I do he just stares at me like I’m nothing. And now, they’re all are like that!

(cries)

KAYLA

Well… I hope we go lesbian soon, because… to be honest? I’m sick of this shit.

EXT. DONOVAN & AUBREY’S HOUSE, FRONT YARD - DAY

Donovan is crawling between bushes and searching for the meteorite. He feels stupid for tossing it away.

DONOVAN

(frustrated)

Where is it…

The attractive female neighbor marches by with her dog, and notices him. They make eye contact, and she fakes a smile.

You can tell she’s frustrated about something.

Donovan stops looking for the meteorite and waves at her, waiting for her to go away.

DONOVAN

(fake laughter)

Hello!

She passes by him without saying a word, and Donovan waits for a few beats until she is far enough.

Donovan crawls a few more feet, and finally finds it. He picks it up.

DONOVAN

Aha!

INT. DONOVAN’S CAR, DRIVING - MORNING

Donovan is on his way to work, and he’s taking the meteorite to the lab.

He stops at a red light, impatient. His eyes are fixed on the red light while he TAPS on the steering wheel. He hates waiting for red lights.

DONOVAN

Common…

INT. DONOVAN’S CAR - MORNING

From the corner of is eye, he notices something odd that immediately grabs his attention. He looks at it, astonished.

EXT. SPERM DONATION VAN - MORNING

A large van, similar to a blood donation station, is parked in a parking lot outside a plasma donation facility.

It has a sign: ‘$200 sperm donations!’. Several poor-looking men are waiting in line to donate Sperm.

The ‘penis strike’ is so bad at this point, that the government is doing whatever it can to maintain a birth rate, because men don’t wanna make babies anymore.

DONOVAN

What the fuck?

INT. DONOVAN’S WORK, LAB - DAY

Typical lab. A few employees are working quietly, dressed up in lab clothes.

KATIE (20s) is sitting in front of a computer, typing. Donovan enters and stands behind her, preparing himself to ask her for a favor.

Katie hates Donovan. Her and Ruth are good friends, and Donovan got her fired.

DONOVAN

(as friendly as he can be)

Katie!

Katie turns around, and sees Donovan. His sight alone irritates her.

KATIE

(sarcastic)

Do you know that you’re actually the very last person I wanna see?

(awkward moment)

DONOVAN

Can you please -- do me a huge favor?

KATIE

(sighs)

For you? Fuck you, Donovan. You got Ruth fired.

DONOVAN

(apologetic)

It wasn’t like that --

KATIE

(ranting)

All she wanted was a tiny bit of attention -- that’s it. You’re a selfish bastard. Do you even remember how you acted when she started to work here? You would stare at –

DONOVAN

(ignores her rant)

--I think I know why I’m acting this way.

KATIE

Which way?

DONOVAN

(uncomfortable)

With Ruth… and other women… why we are acting this way…

KATIE

(understands)

Oh…

Now Katie is willing to listen to what he has to say.

Donovan pulls the meteorite out of his bag, and shows it to Katie.

DONOVAN

This.

Katie looks at meteorite, confused.

KATIE

What is that?

DONOVAN

I found it in my yard a few months ago. It’s not the only one around. I think it carries some type of virus --

Katie gets a cynical look on her face, and releases a short burst of sarcastic laughter. She then turns around to her computer, ignoring Donovan.

DONOVAN

(beat)

(desperate)

If you check this out for me -- I’ll bring

Ruth back.

Katie turns around and faces Donovan again. Doing random tasks for Donovan in exchange for having her friend back sounds like a good deal to her.

KATIE

(hands her hand out)

Give me the damn rock.

DONOVAN

(gives her the meteorite)

Thanks, Katie.

Katie puts the meteorite in a plastic container.

INT. DONOVAN’S CAR, DRIVING - EVENING

Donovan is driving back home from work, listening to the news on the radio. As crazy as the news is, he is not surprised by it at all, given the crazy shit that is happening everywhere.

NEWS ANCHOR (OS)

The Chinese government has forced thousands of men to go through testosterone enhancement treatments, including forced testosterone injections. In an announcement made yesterday, the Chinese prime minister

announced that if the birth rate continues to remain stagnant, the Chinese economy will come to a halt by 2025 --

Donovan stops at a red light. A truck stops in the adjacent lane, with its windows rolled down and LOUD MUSIC playing (OS). It’s so loud that he can’t hear the radio.

EXT. TRUCK, JUNCTION - DAY

There are a few women in the truck. They are LOUD and drunk. They’re SINGING along with the music. They notice Donovan, and they make sex gestures to him with their hands and mouths as they sing. He ignores them, and focuses his

eyes forward. They get angry when they can’t get his attention.

One of the women pulls her head out of the window.

WOMAN

(yells)

Hey! It’s my birthday -- take your shirt off!

INT. DONOVAN’S CAR - DAY

Donovan swallows, focuses forward and holds the steering wheel tight, eager for the light to turn green.

The woman is not giving up.

WOMAN (OS)

(yelling)

Commoooon!!!

The light turns green, and Donovan slams his foot on the gas.

INT. DONOVAN & AUBREY’S HOUSE, BEDROOM - NIGHT

Donovan is sleeping. Outside, a DOOR SLAMS (OS) and Donovan wakes up instantly.

DONOVAN

(mad)

Shit!

There is a LOUD ARGUMENT outside (OS)

Having nothing else to do and not being able to fall asleep, Donovan tunes in on the argument.

His attractive neighbor is kicking her HUSBAND out of their house.

WIFE (OS)

(yells)

Get out!

DONOVAN

(frustrated)

Great.

HUSBAND (OS)

Just let me stay one more night, I promise

I’ll move out tomorrow!

Donovan gets out of bed and walks towards the living room, where he can watch the drama through the window.

He sees the attractive neighbor tossing the husband’s clothes out the door, while he stands in the driveway in sweat pants, shirtless.

WIFE

I fucking had it with your excuses! You haven’t fucked me in four months. Four -- fucking -- months!

HUSBAND

But I already told you –-

WIFE

You think I give a shit!? Out! You’re out!!!

She slams the door. The husband stands there, scratching his head and not knowing what to do with himself.

DONOVAN

(empathic)

Ouch.

INT. TODERA LAB - DAY

Katie is working in the lab, wearing goggles and examining

Donovan’s meteorite.

She breaks a tiny chunk off of the meteorite, and examines it with a microscope. She’s definitely on to something.

She takes her goggles off, exhales and wipes sweat off of her forehead. She just made a freaky discovery.

KATIE

Holy shit.

INT. AUBREY’S PARENTS’ HOUSE, LIVING ROOM – EVENING

Aubrey is watching a nature show on TV and drinking a beer while her MOM prepares dinner in the kitchen behind her. Aubrey is depressed.

MOM

Aubrey, maybe you should stop being so upset. You’ll get over him and find someone else.

AUBREY

Actually, mom -– I won’t.

MOM

Not with that attitude.

AUBREY

(laughs)

How are things going between you and dad?

MOM

(irritated)

Oh dear -– I’d rather not discuss that...

But things could be better.

AUBREY

Exactly.

(beat)

A pair of Lions are mating on TV.

AUBREY

(sarcastic)

At least other species are having fun.

INT. DONOVAN’S OFFICE - DAY

Donovan is sitting at his desk, admiring a Lego set. Suddenly, someone tries to open the door (OS)

The door is locked. Donovan looks at the door, wondering who it is. Then, a loud KNOCK KNOCK is heard. Donovan looks forward between the blinds on the door and sees Katie from the lab.

KATIE (OS)

(shouting)

Let me in!

Donovan rushes to the door and opens it.

DONOVAN

Come in.

Donovan gets back to his seat. Katie takes a seat too. She is excited. She has good news.

KATIE

You are not going to believe this. This -- rock or whatever it is you found -- is packed with a material very similar to cyproterone.

Donovan is confused. Katie notices his confusion.

KATIE

(casually)

It’s used in castration.

DONOVAN

(beat)

Damn.

KATIE

Also -- it is definitely not from this world.

DONOVAN

(skeptical)

So these man-castrating rocks just fell out of the sky?

KATIE

Well, it just so happens that my brother works for NASA and from him I understood that it is not a rare thing for meteorites to carry minerals or biological entities with them.

DONOVAN

And?

KATIE

Here’s where it gets interesting -- I broke the rock you gave me in the lab, and it appears that the rock also acts like a radiation source. I think it infected you when you touched it. I also think that once you touch it, you start infecting other men just by being around them. Kinda like the flu.

Donovan is confused. He closes his eyes and breaths deeply. He is not happy.

KATIE

I believe that once you crush the meteorite, the radiation stops and the biological materials start to die… so if I’m correct, you should be normal again soon!

DONOVAN

(beat)

How do you know this?

KATIE

(impatient)

Trust me, I guess?

Donovan thinks deeply. He’s not sure if he should believe her or not.

KATIE

I already crushed the rock you gave me with a hammer.

(winks)

You’re welcome!

Donovan notices the time on his computer-it’s time to meet Mark. He gets up, and is about to leave the office.

DONOVAN

I gotta head to Mark’s office.

KATIE

(hopeful)

Is Ruth coming back?

DONOVAN

Sure. If I get my girl back.

INT. DONOVAN’S WORKPLACE, MEETING ROOM - DAY

Mark is presenting in front of several employees, including Donovan. He is sitting in front of a laptop, and there is a projection of an Excel spreadsheet on the wall behind him.

The spreadsheet has a chart with a lot of numbers on it. It is not a very exciting meeting. People are writing notes.

Donovan is depressed. All he can think about is Aubrey, and whether he will get her back or not.

MARK

So when we invoice the client, we copy columns B to E and paste them into the

‘invoice’ spreadsheet. Then, we erase the two first rows --

Donovan checks his phone. He is browsing social media, and sees posts where people share the news about the how breaking the meteorites will solve the penis strike. He then sees a link to a press conference about it.

INT. DONOVAN’S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM-EVENING

Donovan is sitting on the couch in a tshirt and sweat pants, building a Lego set and watching a BASKETBALL GAME on TV.

The lack of Aubrey in the house is showing in his behavior and around the house. There are fast-food leftovers on the couch, and some trash on the floor. Her absence is making him not give a shit about anything.

Suddenly, he sees his attractive neighbor in her window. She is vacuuming around her house in a tank top and tight shorts. She bends over, and exposes a thong.

DONOVAN

(sexually aroused)

Oh, wow…

(shocked to find out that he’s horny again)

Holy shit!

(beat)

Aubrey!

Donovan puts on slippers quickly. He grabs the car keys off of the coffee table and while doing so, he accidentally hits the Lego set and it falls and SHATTERS. He doesn’t care and RUNS out to his car.

EXT. AUBREY’S PARENTS’ HOUSE - EVENING

Typical suburban home. Donovan pulls in the driveway. He RUNS to the door and KNOCKS. AUBREY’S DAD (late 50s) opens. He’s a grumpy middle aged man. He does not like Donovan at all.

AUBREY’S DAD

(sarcastic)

Oh… you.

DONOVAN

(impatient, ignores the sarcasm)

Where’s Aubrey?

AUBREY’S DAD

She doesn’t want to see you.

DONOVAN

Oh yeah? When was the last time you got a boner?

Aubrey’s Dad gets an awkward look on his face. The blunt, embarrassing question makes him wanna dodge Donovan. Perhaps he does have problems getting an erection.

He turns back half-way, facing the inside of his house but keeping his angry eyes on Donovan.

AUBREY’S DAD

(yells)

Aubrey!

(beat)

Sounds of footsteps (OS) Aubrey comes to the door. She sees Donovan. His presence gets her emotions going.

AUBREY

(to her dad)

It’s ok dad.

Aubrey’s dad gives Donovan the evil eye, then walks back in the house. Aubrey folds her hands in a defensive mode.

AUBREY

(beat)

Donovan -- what are you --

Out of nowhere, Donovan grabs Aubrey and kisses her.

DONOVAN

I wanna fuck you again.

Aubrey is turned on, and kisses him back.

AUBREY

Wh -- what happened to you?

DONOVAN

It doesn’t matter now.

(kisses her again)

Baby, I’m all better now. This thing, this virus -- its gone!

Even though she enjoyed the gesture, Aubrey is not yet convinced to get back with Donovan.

DONOVAN

I missed you so much. I know I didn’t wanna fuck you, but I still loved you. In a weird way, this virus made me understand that I wanna be with you. With you. I was an idiot before this happened. I was selfish. I only thought about what was good for me. But when I stopped wanting chicks, I still wanted to be with you.

Aubrey is flattered, but she is still not convinced. She is having a hard time just accepting him, especially when it’s happening so fast.

AUBREY

(hesitant)

Donovan --

Aubrey looks down, and notices that Donovan has a very noticeable erection. It arouses her. She hasn’t had sex in such a long time, that she could care less for her feelings right now.

She then loses her train of thought, and just gazes at his pants.

AUBREY

Oh my…

CUT TO:

EXT. DONOVAN’S CAR, AUBREY’S PARENTS’ DRIVEWAY - NIGHT

Donovan and Aubrey are in his car, having LOUD sex. The car is SHAKING.

EXT. DONOVAN’S CAR, DRIVING - MORNING

Donovan is driving to work. He is in extremely high spirits, as if he won the lottery. He drives by the billboard with the lingerie model.

INT. DONOVAN’S CAR, DRIVING - MORNING

Donovan looks at the billboard. He points at it and winks. His reaction to the billboard is more reserved this time.

INT. DONOVAN’S WORKPLACE - MORNING

Donovan walks in, greeting everyone he sees. He sees Ashley with a red dress and smiles at her.

DONOVAN

Nice dress!

ASHLEY

(surprised from his change in behavior, but flattered)

Thank you!

INT. MARK’S OFFICE - DAY

Mark is working on his computer. Donovan enters.

DONOVAN

Good morning Mark!

MARK

(looks up at Donovan)

Big D!

DONOVAN

(sits down)

We gotta bring Ruth back.

Mark stops typing on his computer.

MARK

(confused)

Are you serious?

DONOVAN

(laughs)

Yeah… I dunno why I was being hysterical.

Just bring her back, man.

MARK

I guess… well, we haven’t found a replacement for her yet, so why not?

DONOVAN

Thanks, Mark!

(shakes hands with Mark)

You’re the man!

Mark seems confused about Donovan’s change of mind, but he’s glad that he is feeling good about it.

INT. AUBREY’S WORKPLACE - MORNING

Aubrey is putting books on a shelf. She is happy. Kayla enters, pushing a cart with books in it.

AUBREY

(to Kayla)

Good morning!

KAYLA

Hey girl!

Kayla Starts putting books on shelves. She notices Aubrey’s good mood.

KAYLA

You look happy today…

AUBREY

Oh, I have a good reason to be happy. Believe me.

(laughs)

KAYLA

(beat)

Is it what I think it is?

Kayla smiles a naughty smile, as if she’s hiding something.

KAYLA

(jealous)

Holy shit!

AUBREY

(lowers her voice)

We fucked again!

KAYLA

(beat)

That’s so fucking awesome!

Aubrey notices a handsome man checking Kayla out from across the store.

AUBREY

(low voice)

There’s someone behind you… and it looks like he really, really wants to talk to you.

Kayla turns around. She sees him. She likes what she sees.

She turns back to Kayla and smiles a naughty smile. Aubrey makes a thumbs-up gesture. Then, Kayla walks to the handsome man, smiling and scanning him up and down.

KAYLA

(to handsome man)

How can I help you?

Aubrey notices Donovan entering the store. He is looking for Aubrey. After a few moments, they make eye contact. Then, he walks to her, smiling.

AUBREY

Donovan -- what are you doing here?

DONOVAN

I came here to…

Donovan looks down, takes a deep breath, and looks up again.

DONOVAN

To ask you to be… to be my wife.

AUBREY

(shocked but happy)

What!?

Donovan just looks at her, smiling.

DONOVAN

(continued)

I don’t have a ring yet, bu –-

AUBREY

(Ecstatic, loud)

Yes!!!

Aubrey jumps on Donovan and makes with him. They make out passionately, like nobody is around. Before they notice, a small crowd form around them. They’re CLAPPING HANDS.

Donovan and Aubrey stop making out, and they stand there hugging and look at the crowd.

Aubrey sees Kayla and they make eye contact. The handsome man has his hand around her shoulder. Looks like they’ve connected pretty fast.

Kayla grabs the handsome man’s crotch and makes a ‘fuck yeah!’ gesture. The man smiles, embarrassed.

Aubrey and Donovan resume their make out session.

FADE OUT
THE END - BY MALACHI KAPLAN