First Stop: Hong Kong

It may be the jet lag from the fourteen hour flight I just endured (thank the good lord for Zzzquil and eye masks) it may be the time change or it may just be the part of me that likes the feeling of safety screaming "what are you doing?!"

Why would I leave the comfort of my white fluffy bed and trust me chaotic mother with my sweet sweet Bambi, who probably thinks I abandoned her, why would I leave a steady paying a job to be what unemployed people call "self employed"and why in the world did I decide to eat at a Cheesecake Factory in the middle of Hong Kong?

Because I am terrified.
Absolutely terrified. I went from being crazy to being terrified in 2.8 seconds.

I have so many voices in my head (and yes I know thats borderline evidence to be put in a mental hospital) telling me so many different things.
So many unanswered questions.

Like was I really supposed to get travelers insurance?
or
What about the people who warned me that I will be back in LA bartending again in less than two months, are they right?

As I sit in the Hong Kong International Airport waiting for my flight to Malaysia, my head is buzzing from the caffeine in this poor excuse for a cup of coffee and from all of the questions I can not help but debate back and forth in my head.

"Julia, just breath..go with the flow"
"what do you mean go with the flow...I could die"
"You aren't going to die"
"but I could"

Why are we as humans bred to chase conformity? Why is it that my internal compass is guiding me back to the comfort of bed?
I told my little inner voices to get lost and ignored the ticking time bomb inside my chest and decided to somehow navigate my way through the signs I could barely read, landed myself a prime time seat on a double decker bus and headed to Harbour city to explore Hong Kong. I gave myself a pat on the back for not ubering (partially for saving money, partially for not being boujee)
I managed to not get run over (by busses or people) in the busy streets, found a secluded park in the midst of the busy city that had a maze (what a perfect illustration for what was going on inside my head)

Although the humidity made me feel like I was melting, and the smog made things a tad bit hazzier than expected, it felt pretty damn good to be here. To appreciate the people and culture I surrounded myself in.

I am hoping as time goes on I am able to not only silence the voices inside my head but also let the people who are waiting for my return know that they are wasting their time.

Until then I have about an hour before my flight, and the pressure to try some authentic asian food (not from Cheesecake Factory) before I take off.

Next stop, Malaysia.