Defend the Indefensible

This post is my entry to @beggars recent competition "Defend A Controversial Topic And Win 5 STEEM"

My goal today is to rationalize and defend the most heinous of all people directly and indirectly linked to the Steem blockchain. This person has weaseled his way unknowingly into many millions of conversations over the past year or 2. This person has influenced the direction of Steemit to a FAR greater degree than any witness or media tart could ever dream.

Without further ado, may I present my defense of.

Neds Barber

Little does the world know, but Ned had a fairly dull childhood, his parents were always away and could never be relied upon, he had trouble making friends and he wasn't particularly gifted in any one subject. But the bedrock of his existance came into his life at the age of 10. His nanny took him to a new barber that he instantly took a shine to.

This barber sculpted the child's hair into a finely crafted hairdo that any French male model would be proud to have. It was at this point that Ned's fortune began to change. He started making friends, he discovered computer coding and girls even began to take notice.

Now Ned wasn't completely dense, he put the pieces together and realized that all of his good luck came down to his haircut, and he developed an almost cult-like loyalty to his trusted barber. When his parents were missing, his barber was there. If he got dumped by a girl, his barber was there. He knew that the only person he could count on was his barber.

Many years later, Ned became friends with Dan and they began their grand idea to develop Steem. In every decision that Ned was forced to make, he asked himself "What would the Barber do?"
While developing the user interface, he often thought of the barber and how he would do his own hair, the barber appeared in his head telling him "Keep it simple, Bland is the New Bling" and then he was off again.

But about this time, Ned got a bit too cocky and he left his barber and tried seeing someone else. Its no co-incidence that about this time Dan left the Steemit team, the price of the coins plummeted and the general feelings within the Steem environment plummeted. Ned quickly realized the error of his ways, but much of the damage had already been done.

Thanks to his disloyalty to the barber, Dan started his own project and Ned was left to flounder and appeal to the Barbers good senses to come back to him.

In the barbers time away from Ned, he didn't cut a single other hair. But as the pair reunited, the good fortunes of Ned and Steem began to return. The coin price began lifting, talented developers began joining the team. To show his gratitude, Ned began producing videos with his immaculately kept hair front and center in a pseudo-homage to his most trusted adviser, his barber.

So in future when you make fun of Ned's Perfect hair, just remember that without Ned's Barber, we wouldn't have the Steem ecosystem, we wouldn't have the rewards and fortunes that we would have amassed and we wouldn't have this awesome song by @benleemusic

This post is intended to only be in good humor and no offence is meant towards Ned, Dan or any barber that Ned may use