Tales From The Circ Side
An Almost James Bond Anecdote: Live And Let Fly
Do you ever have a day where you are firing on seven instead of eight cylinders? On Tuesday I was about as together as a jigsaw puzzle in a wind tunnel. My physical, mental, and emotional state was depleted like a uranium round from the Gulf War. I could go on, but I think I have painted the picture, so while I was wandering around doing my work at the library on Tuesday, I just wasn't my intuitive self.
So, of course our printing software that we route all of the patron's prints through decided to go belly up that day, which of course meant that we had to load any documents that patrons wanted to print onto a flash drive and print them from our circulation desk computer. The Universe being a bit of a Loki, it also meant that The Lady Who Prints came in that day as well. She usually prints about a hundred pages or so, but I love her because she is the coolest, flamboyant clothes wearing, dottering grandmotherly type of character.
In previous posts I have discussed Almost James Bond. He is still at the library everyday, silently radiating discomfort like a well-being irritating bald hornet sting. Other than I can feel him watching me a lot of the time, he is never inappropriate, and now I have come to expect his unnerving presence as the abnormal part of my workday. In fact, as I check in, wash, and put away library materials, I often find myself playing a little mental game, "What's Almost James Bond Going To Do Next?" The rules of the time passing life-app consist of such titillating game-play as: "If I shelf the audiobooks behind the man, will he bolt to the back of the library and take out his laptop" or "How many minutes will it take for Almost James Bond to leave if a random middle aged woman sits down at the computer next to him." Scintillating stuff I tell ya!
Tuesday, however, I inadvertently did something so embarrassing that it still has me blushing. Being a librarian, I tend to dress nice for work. Dresses and skirts, all of a proper cut and not so muted color scheme typically adorn my form as I skulk through the stacks doing my librarian thing. When I woke up for work Tuesday morning, I just wasn't feeling my normal self thanks to acres of family drama, so I threw on some wine colored pants, a scoop neck loose fitting, slinky shirt, and a black cardigan. I just wanted to be comfortable and get through the day.
This brings us back to The Lady Who Prints. She happened to be seated at the computer right across from Almost James Bond. I had grabbed a flash drive and walked over to her computer to load the umpteen million pages of PDF files that she needed printed. In doing so I was bent over the computer desk, dragging and dropping documents into the portable drive, focusing solely on the task at hand. It must now be noted that our computer desk contains six computers, three on one side and three on the opposite site, all facing each other. It was only towards the end of my exemplary display of customer service that I became aware that I had put on another type of display. As I dropped the last document into the flash drive I looked down and noticed that my um, "attributes" were hanging out of my shirt. I then looked up and right into the deep set blue eyes of none other than Almost James Bond. Great.
Not one to make a mountain out of a mammary gland, I removed the flash drive, glided over to my circ computer, printed out The Lady Who Prints prints, and continued with my work day. Inwardly I was groaning with unintentional chest flashing dismay. On the bright side, my boss, coworkers, and husband are beyond amused at my tribulation. No doubt Almost James Bond's day was made as well, for he made it a point to say an awkward "goodnight" to me on his way out of the library that evening. The only thing that made it worse was the copy of "For Your Eyes Only" that leered mockingly at me from the DVD shelf. You can bet your Aston Martin with a rocket launcher that I wore a turtleneck sweater for the next workday! Sigh...
So on that note, did anyone of you embarrass yourselves unintentionally this week?
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I am right there with you sister! I've had too many similar situations to mention. I worked in banking for a few years, and while I enjoy dressing up, (well, I used to enjoy it-I can't remember the last time I've done it in the last 3 years!!) I'm still about as graceful as your cat in that image above! I know I've had some very similar displays such as yours, but I probably scarred myself with all the humiliation and can't seem to remember a specific one now! Lol! Isn't that just the way?
Oh I so hear you regarding levels of grace, sigh. And it's totally that way, when it comes to remembering specific moments of humiliation I too often draw a blank! I feel for you though, when I had littles such as you do I was lucky to even get fully dressed most days, and it wouldn't surprise me if I one day wore socks as a bra, heh.! Hang in there sis!
I was barely able to cope with work due to back pain and my level of customer service likely suffered almost as much as my back.
Your spinal discomfort makes me sadder than your nose on stinky patron day:o(
That is so beautiful cat
Awe, thank you! We love our Soaky-girl!
LOL ... the importance of good undergarments. You know if you arrive tomorrow to a influx of more 'almost james bond's' ... he talked and is a lousy spy:)
HA HA! I was especially thankful for at least some coverage courtesy of Victoria's Secret, lol! I head back into the library tomorrow, we'll see if he talked;o)!
Keep us posted:)
Oh my! Any hopes of AJB not showing up as often are surely dashed! LOL Great story!
Man, I can't even think about that incident without feeling like a tool. LOL! Glad you enjoyed!
Speaking of Bond,
I recall being quite amazed at the revelatory realization that "licenses" are strictly for things that are inherently illegal. The mystique of "a license to kill" as exercised by James Bond never registered with me until I came to realize that the state forces "licenses" down our throats for things that are not inherently wrong... e.g. "marriage license" and "driver's license."
But then, I'm an old curmudgeon who has come to swear perpetual enmity with the state as we know it...
😄😇😄
Well, even I think it is highly illogical that the State is the arbiter of the right to kill, and I am a lady that used to surf in trees, LOL!
I like that you are a curmudgeon:o)
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Thank you for such a lovely, uplifting comment! I hope to one day achieve writing greatness, and keep up the good work on your blog, I love the travel pictures!