Afraid of Letting Go
“When we think we have been hurt by someone in the past, we build up defenses to protect ourselves from being hurt in the future. So the fearful past causes a fearful future and the past and future become one. We cannot love when we feel fear.... When we release the fearful past and forgive everyone, we will experience total love and oneness with all.” ― Gerald G. Jampolsky
TanteTati Pixabay
Greetings Steemians,
Lately I've been in a perpetual state of depression. Rather personal reasons, but the reasons are somewhat moot when considering the aspects of the depression.
I have a hard time letting go of certain things, and to be easy on myself, letting go isn't something that can happen over night, but the debilitating effects of refusing to do so can really ravage a persons well being.
Sometimes I feel like my thoughts are not my own, and can even recognize irrationality within certain thoughts, but some thoughts are rational. (At least I hope they are.)
One thought that came to mind today was:
"You've been hurt, but you've also hurt others."
The ego loves to take center stage with many aspects of life. I think most when hurt, often forget (or refuse to recognize) the hurt they've caused in the process. This is the case for me, and it's humbling to take a step back and admit to myself that I'm prone to making mistakes, even when I am unable to recognize those mistakes in the moment.
Why do people cause hurt, why do people lack trust, why do people have a hard time letting go?
These questions to me, all come down to fear.
If the past is no indication of the future, then it's maniacal how much we as human beings place chance on past experience, and at the core is fear.
We are very much programmed from birth, of that I have no doubt, especially when examining my own thoughts/perceptions. Humans love sayings like:
"Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it."
It's important to think in terms of the infinite potential of the universe, and how random things occur day to day.
Great arguments are posed, arguments of statistics and probability of pattern behaviors. It's hard to refute that 99% of people are prone to (fill in the blank) except for when you are that 1% that doesn't (fill in the blank.)
So many programs have infiltrated the human psyche. I must be able to recognize that I myself am no exception to this.
I like to think of myself as strong and tough, (programmed thinking?) but I admit that I am afraid of some things, I admit that I am not perfect, and I admit that I am afraid to let go sometimes.
I hope this is something I can get better at, for all I want in this life is to love and be loved.
Thank you for reading.
Much love,
@futuremind
Posted with eSteem Surfer
Thanks my friend for another insightful post, even if it is a courageous one talking about yourself. Yes, that takes courage, to expose some of your inner self, to willingly and consciously take the vulnerable position; I admire that in people, and I'm not good at it myself at all.
The things you speak of are fundamental in the sense that fear is indeed one of our most deeply rooted and overwhelmingly important instincts. And it makes us behave irrationally indeed. It's been explained by evolutionary psychology and evolutionary biology as follows: when ancient man heard a rustle in the bushes, it was better to assume that it was caused by a dangerous predator and immediately be on guard; the ones that assumed danger had a better chance to survive and reproduce. Overwhelmingly though the rustle would have been caused by a breeze or some insignificant rodent or insect; that's the rational assumption. But the rational assumption will get you killed one time out of a thousand, so we behave irrationally whenever we hear something in the dark we can not immediately recognize. And yes, you're also spot on when you assert that our minds have been programmed extensively. This programming makes use of those deeply rooted instincts and emotions, and explains why we're so easily ruled by fear...
We're only lucky that evolution has also given high value to that other emotion: love. Our minds are natural pattern-seekers and we can't help ourselves but to try and find patterns everywhere, also in time; that's why I believe we look back so much as the unknown future is something we fear generally, like we fear most things we don't know, that do not yet have a place in the patterns we've built our world model with so far. We hope to be able to extrapolate that future by following past patterns in time, so we don't have to fear that future so much...
That's enough. Typical for me to try and explain things away, instead of sharing my own inner self; I just lack the courage to do that I'm afraid... ;-)
This is a great point you bring up about the fundamental nature of fear @zyx066,
and in terms of an evolutionary aspect, it really makes sense..
One could even go as far as to say the emotion of love is a fundamental flaw in our evolutionary existence! I would say it's not a flaw however, because it gives a great deal of meaning to our existence, it also brings a great deal of pain with it at times, but that is part of what makes it special.
After all, without the presence of darkness, we cannot substantiate what light even is right? :)
That whole positive/negative topic. Humans tend to not like negativity, but we cannot deny that without its presence, there is no definition of what is positive, and therefore plays a vital role in our existence as well.
I think you're pretty courageous my friend. You have the courage to address topics that many are afraid to speak out about, and that takes a great deal of courage indeed.
I had a nice little laugh with how you ended that with "I'm afraid".. I'll say, a much needed laugh!
Thank you for your insightful comment. You always bring a meaningful perspective which leaves me with a smile. Thank you my friend! 😃
Giving forgiveness to ourselves and others is so important for healing and moving forward in a positive direction.
I agree @choosefreedom,
Some of my biggest "breakthroughs" in life came from forgiveness.
It's definitely not easy though, especially for a stubborn (4/20) Taurus like myself :)
Thank you for your kind words and support my friend.
Very beautifully said.
Thank you for the kind words @owasco, as well as the support and resteem! :)
Hi Jake. Be kind to yourself. Let go and be happy. Forgive, not because they deserve forgiveness, but you need to move on, to have closure and have peace of mind. Cheers!
Thank you Vince, I am trying my best. Just focusing my mind on being productive and trying to think happy thoughts. It's tough, but life gives us little choice in this aspect.
👍 😊
I'm going through a similar process. I guess all that can be done is to let the sensations be and be certain that times of refreshing love are coming our way.
All part of this brief life experience brother. All things shift/change/pass with time.
I wish you well on your journey friend. Thank you for stopping by :)
Hi @futuremind, one way to live a healthy life is to avoid depression. I can still feel disappointment in your heart. If you are disappointed because of love, then you must forget love with love. Love other women who love you. Wish you happiness. Have a nice day.
Thank you for the kind words my friend.
I think that is really good advice.
For now I am just focusing on loving myself and getting to a place where I don't feel pain as much. I can be no use to anyone if I am not in a happier state. So I am just working towards letting go and moving forward.
Thank you always for your thoughtful comments miss @elianaelisma, have a great day.
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