Why do we say so little compliments to each other?
One of my acquaintances once said that she did not consider herself beautiful.
“But you are beautiful", - I said.
“Listen, Evi, I can't take compliments from you,” - she replied.
“А compliment from you is like a compliment from my mother. It does not count."
I thought about it. Why is a compliment from me not considered?
Several months have passed.
One of my friends said she had bad hair.
“You have beautiful hair", - I said.
“I cannot accept compliments from you,” - she replied, “not because you lie or flatter me, but because you always say only good things.”
And then everything fell into place.
Indeed, I completely forgot that why people say bad things to each other more than good things.
I think compliments are important. This is a universal medicine for all occasions.
This skill trains you and allows you to see something good in a person. Did you see something good? Do not keep it in yourself, but say it.
If something has worked out well for a person, it also makes no sense to be silent, praise. If you suddenly envy someone, turn mortal sin into joy - report it.
Pros:
- The person is pleased;
- Your attitude is better;
- He will remember all his life;
- There are fewer complexes in people;
- Maybe also something good to hear about yourself.
Minuses:
- Oxygen is wasted.
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LOL I like the cons and while I believe in the power of positive reinforcement it also needs to be managed. Too much of it can create a false sense of self and entitlement or even a dependency on it and people will act out to get compliments. We see it all the time on sites like instagram.
A compliment earned is better than one that is given :)
In your words, it makes sense)) between a sincere compliment and flattery from selfish goals, there is a rather thin line, which it is not always possible to recognize.
but I think that this is a matter of conscience and personal principles for each of us. one compliment is better, but it will be the most sincere than a hundred beautiful but false words)