Challenging Love to Be Unconditional - Part 18
LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX?
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Birthday Intermission
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17
Backing up in time for a moment...A day or so after the conference (where Quinn and I first began our love affair), Quinn was sitting in the hallway at his mother’s house. I was walking down the hallway. He reached out and grabbed my ankle and didn’t let go. I dissolved into him and I knew then and there this relationship had just gone to another level. The sexual energy between us felt like an ocean’s wave that washed away the barriers, then a gentle rain that showered us with the blessing, then sunshine that intensified the warmth of the heart, then rainbows that opened up the full spectrum of love.
We sat out by the pool and talked about sex. We both shared our experiences from the past and the intensity of what we were feeling right now. I had never had such an intimate discussion and bearing of my soul about such “private” matters with anyone. I didn’t even talk about it with this much ease with my was-bund of over 20 years. Quinn just simply talked about it. So easy. So free. He didn’t show any embarrassment or discomfort even when sharing about his lack of experience. (Which of course meant that we could design our own sexual and sensual relationship from the ground up with few preconceived ideas about it!)
Quinn was quite upfront about choosing as a teenager to abstain from having sex. Which to me was incredibly impressive and almost unbelievable considering the raging hormones most young adults cave in to at that age. He consciously channeled all of his sexual energy into spirituality instead. He focused without distraction for 4-5 years in meditation until he realized the divinity of the infinite realms. He said that what he had found was way beyond any casual sexual encounter he could imagine--what he found was way beyond life itself! Sex totally paled in comparison.
He told me that he did act on his attraction to a couple of girls in the past, but found that the more he gave of himself, the more they wanted. He said didn’t really even have any friends because everyone always wanted so much of him. Everyone got super attached to his energy and built up demanding expectations which Quinn expressed made him feel like just letting them go. I could feel how all of that could be true, as I witnessed with Quinn that when he was with someone--he was really WITH them. His energy was so clear, gentle, and loving--who wouldn’t want more of that? The love he was sharing with me was really other-worldly. I took note of his unattached perspective, and breathed in the awareness to refrain from being needy or attached like everyone else.
Talking about sex was NOT something that happened in my family--not really much even in my generation, or the generation before. That was one of the taboo subjects that was left up to a special two week school 6th grade course--boys and girls separated of course! We all knew that something “private” was going to be talked about when we finally reached about 12 years of age - something really secretive with answers we would find in the special little booklet we would receive in class. Us girls walked out knowing we were going to menstruate (if we hadn’t already), and what options we would have to manage it. As I remember there was very little shared information about intercourse or pregnancy, except how the woman’s body would retain the blood if needed to grow a baby.
“Sex education” was very superficial and remained an extremely uncomfortable topic to discuss with anyone, except maybe a best friend who didn’t know anything more on the subject than any other kid of our age. There was no internet from which to seek answers or pose questions, and most of our access to books was from the school library. In general we just kept our curiosity at bay while we dealt with the changes of our blossoming bodies. We of course picked up on cues and put the pieces together for ourselves--which was both limiting considering our inexperience, and a blessing considering all the fear and embarrassment society portrayed.
Being able to talk about making love so freely with Quinn was really refreshing. Not only was he able to talk about it, but he carried an energy of purity, excitement, inquisitiveness and ease. I could feel the tension release in my body when opening up to share with him some things locked up tight inside that I had never had inspiration to share before. I felt this was a huge opening for something even deeper. I realized how keeping secrets over the years had actually kept me separate from true intimate communion, and left me alone in my own body and mind. Oh how magnificent it was to experience the contrast!
Go with me on the journey toward Unconditional Love!
Stay Tuned for Part 19
Thank God for the sex education in our days, life would have still be that boring.... Smiles.
Healthy sex life is one of the life wire of a good relationship, we can't hide from that fact.
Sex is indeed a great part of a relationship, yet most people have so many hang ups and ideas about it that it gets all twisted and takes on all kinds of ideas that can make relationships complicated. Often people try to control each other with sex, and generations of conditioning can keep the true beauty from unfolding. I love that we had lots of time to explore and make it what we wanted it to be.
Wow! Just wow! This is taking me to the previous chapter and won't stop till I finally catch up.
Getting interesting...
Back then, people learned mostly by experience due to lack of information at their disposals except the ones passed down from parents and also school library as you rightly put it. Most people just put the pieces together hoping they fit, without causing any damage hahaha.
You are really a wise, strong and positive woman. Who wouldn't fall in love with you!
It's hard to imagine for some just how limited our exposure was to the world since now everything is almost instantly at our fingertips. But those times also had their benefits and we do the best we can with what we have--ideally so, anyway.
Grateful to be surrounded by people who have some wise words of benefit to share. You're one of those -- Thanks for taking a read on my blog.
Your words and writings have this edge about it. You know how to capture the hearts of your readers and you are blessed with words. It is hard not to fall in love with your words and writings. I am going to read even more. Blessed to have you here.
Never considered myself a "writer" per se, except a book I started for my children. I have many journals but intended while writing them for my eyes only. Now the words for this series are just flowing out, so I'm going with it. Glad to have captured you with it @olawalium.
That's the thing with writing, especially if you are writing from your heart; the words start flowing in incessant flow and I am happy you are going with it while you glow with it too.
It would be nice to read this in a book from you.
Who knows what will happen with this writing. I made an off the cuff remark one day years and years ago about not even knowing who I am--"Maybe I have a famous writer locked up inside of me!" I don't know where that statement came from, I was super surprised when it came out of me.
Someone mentioned to me that I should make a book out of this series, and that memory of my statement flooded back in, and all I could do was laugh at the divine nature of the Universe. Funny how life goes!
Very funny how life goes and yes there is a writer locked up inside you, waiting to break free, screaming for freedom hahaha. I would gladly buy and read when the time comes. I believe in you.
I guess I really have several writings that could be books in the making, now that I think about it. None of them are in any kind of form for sharing, but all topics of genuine worth. Perhaps some day when/if that ever becomes of importance! Seems I'm doing this one already!
~fans self...
Indeed @osodreamer!
That 2nd picture is gorgeously hot, phew
When i started my spiritual journey, abstaining from sex was part of it but my partner went totally nuts. I also didn't know how to transform the energy properly so it was a total mess.
Only many, many years later, i truly learned what was meant by the Indian wise men. Intercourse is not really the issue, orgasm is. And life bloomed ever since then :-)
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This is definitely one of my favorite pictures of him. I believe I have taken tens of thousands of photos of Quinn--this is a SIZZLING spicy gorgeous man!!! Oh My!!
Learning to manage our energy is really valuable on many levels. It's cool that you even knew that redirecting your sexual energy into spirituality could be a powerful thing. Experimentation can bring great insight!
Grateful for for the wise! Thanks @bubke for being here--I appreciate the interaction.