Qualities of a good Life-Partner

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Accept it or not, everyone idealizes a perfect life partner at a young age. But let's be clear, a perfect life partner is just a myth. No one can be perfect and everyone has some shortcomings. When we are not perfect ourselves then it's ridiculous to expect perfection from our partner. Instead, we should embrace the imperfections and see if we complement the partner, like two imperfect pieces of a jigsaw puzzle fit together.

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When I was young, I dreamed of having a partner like those described in books or portrayed in movies - Loving and Handsome. (I had never given much thought to the wealth factor, I had this much sense that money can't buy happiness)

I got engaged at a very young age of 19. Soon I realized that being loving and handsome is not enough. Unknowingly, I started expecting other things like respect, loyalty, and trust. Luckily, I found everything essential for a perfect relationship with my fiance. We are married for more than 5 years now and living a happy life. Alhamdulillah.

I will share the qualities that my husband possess or partners should possess to lead a happy life.

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1- Respect

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It is the most important element for a healthy relation. We witness many abusive partners around us. In my opinion, such relations should not be continued. Respect is something, one shouldn't compromise on. Allah has created spouses to find comfort and solace in each others' company, not abuse and hatred.

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2- Trust, Loyalty and Honesty

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Trust is the second important element for a healthy relationship in my opinion. Loyalty is something else. I am talking about having confidence in your partner that he will be with you through thick and thin. It is easier said than done. But there is no point in a relationship if you are doubtful about the support of your partner in your bad times.

Loyalty is very important. Nowadays, many married people look for relations out of wedlock. We all know it is prohibited by Allah but let's not bring in the religion. It is very inappropriate anyways, ethically and morally too. If you truly love your partner then there shouldn't be a need to look around and feel guilty when you lose the trust and respect in other's eyes.

Be honest with each other. Honesty, loyalty and trust are interlinked with each other. Being honest with your partner gives him confidence in you. It helps build up trust too. It promotes loyalty as well and if someone gets side-tracked or develops interest somewhere else, he/she will be honest about it. I think hiding and lying are worse traits than being unfaithful.

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3- Communication

Many couples fight just because they don't communicate properly. Women's thought process is complicated, whereas men's is pretty simple. Women expect that men understand their emotions without saying anything. Men think they are doing enough. This all leads to a lot of confusion and misunderstanding. Here comes the proper communication in the picture. Both partners should be expressive with each other. This helps clear out a lot of unnecessary misunderstandings and fights. Being expressive and emotionally open with each other makes the bonding strong as well.

I recommend everyone to read a book called, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

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4- Space and Compromise

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Two individuals cannot have the same interests, hobbies, or opinions. Giving space to your partner for his own hobbies and interests is very important. If we tell them off to see their friends and do their favorite hobby, it will slowly create negativity and suffocation in the relation. Taking some time off from each other helps build up more love and positivity.
We should also learn to compromise on little shortcomings of each other.

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5- Supportive

We should be supportive to our partners. Encourage and motivate them to achieve their dreams. Many couples just don't care about their partners' dreams or ambitions and don't like it when the other is successful. Do we even love the person whose happiness we cannot stand?

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These are some of the main traits a good partner shall have. I am lucky to have a husband who has all the above mentioned traits. He is a much better person and partner than me to be honest. We both are not very expressive so communication was a problem but we have overcome that with time and are expressive with each other. Other than that I am lucky that my husband is very supportive, caring and respects all my decisions. He knows how to lighten my mood and makes an effort to keep me happy. He knows how to cook and makes delicious pastas and steaks. Hehe
I on the other hand, try to be supportive of his decisions as well. Respect him and people linked to him. Give him space to enjoy time with his friends.

It is said that true worth of a wife is realized when she's sick. It is the challenging time for husband. Similarly true worth of a husband is realized when he's not rich. It is a challenging time for a wife.

So I think men should care for their wives and share the workload when they are sick and women should not put unnecessary burden on the shoulders of their men to buy every thing for them they set eyes on.

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I hope you found some useful tips in this post. I tried to sum up my experience.

Marriage is a two way street. It requires give-and-take to function smoothly.

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Thankyou for reading.

Kind Regards,

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