Money and relationships

We discussed yesterday with my friend the human qualities that beset us, and I, making the list, highlighted one quality that I can not stand in people - pettiness. Not greed, I myself sometimes get greedy, namely pettiness, that is greed in small things. In general, pettiness as such in people, in principle - whether it's a girl or a guy.
In my life, I have come across several such instances. Beginning with those who lead you to the tea house, orders gulls with an aesthetic look, along with a lecture on the benefits of tea with nettles, and then to the waitress's question "anything for tea?", In a frightened voice, without waiting for your answer, " NO NO NO!" Or, for example, leads you to a cafe, orders a bunch of everything, although you, in general, are not hungry, will eat almost everything yourself, and then offers to split the account. At the same time, I do not mean an expensive restaurant where dinner costs as my monthly salary, it's an ordinary cafe where all the pennies are worth.

Or else it was epic: "THIS IS HOW I DO NOT TAKE THE PROMOTIONAL COUPONS FOR DISCOUNTS!" Honestly, I absolutely do not care how he pays for it - coupons or not coupons, though then the dishes wash at night - for me it's all the same, I can always pay for myself, but this exclamation, it immediately kills in you the image of it as courageous man, I immediately imagine a sort of Scrooge McDuck, shaking over gold.

There is also a special type - when his count of pennies hangs over the table a heavy reminder, you wait for the order, and then eat it with a sense of "Damn, why did I take these sushi for 200 hryvnia, when it was possible to take something simpler for 100? It would be better if I myself would pay and eat with a clear conscience what I want. "At the same time he will not say a word to you, but this insult just hangs over the table, sighs at the receipt of an invoice, and so on. On the other hand, I'm quite willing to pay for myself - it's not a problem, I'm on a drink and drink, I always have money. Well, if so uncomfortable to you - well, do not invite then to the cafe, let's just take a walk in the park, ducks in the pond feed.

But here begins a strange - the one-time relationship, so I calmly pay for myself everywhere, or without talking I take the bill and pay my part, or at least I offer it. Yes, I can pay for both, garbage question. Although it would be more logical to be on the contrary - since you only have sex, then at least feed it. But in any case, if a man initially can be seen that he is a miser, or I catch at least somewhere this merzen little note of petty greed - I understand that we will not succeed. Not because I'm demanding money for myself, I'm not begging for money ever, I provide myself completely from the age of 16 (well, or in bad hands, I remain proud and independent), but if a man himself invites me somewhere, they should be his expenses. If I want to go somewhere myself, I will pay for the hotel, leisure, etc., because this is my initiative and I invite.
Another once distinguished Italian, with whom we had long planned our trip on the weekend to the sea, at his request I chose a rather modest hotel, about $ 20 per day, which itself would never have been occupied, and then he proposed to divide the expenses. In principle, I did not feel sorry for these $ 10, I easily spend money, even if they are quite recent. But at that moment, I was badly led by the bank, taking out the money at the wrong time, and I was on the zeros, which I honestly informed and added that, in fact, I was used to the fact that since "in numbers", at the expense of men, I was given a lecture on the division of the roles of men and women in Europe, that women were emancipated, and it would be nice to pay for myself, well, in the end, sacramental "Anastasia, I thought you were an angel, and you're on this diavolo! "
A typical song by the way, this is the most cunning approach of petty misers. "I'm so glad that you are modest, that money is not important to you, that you are not like everyone else, you are my angel." And honestly, nothing foreshadowed that I would seem to be a normal, healthy and handsome man, wrote in devils for $ 10.

But you do not think that I'm mercantile and a hunter for someone else's money, because together with all the above, it does not fit into my head how you can live completely at the expense of a man, beg his money, and take offense if he did not give, or gave less than I would like. If I once had a family - then I would prefer that the budget in it was completely separate, well, not counting the expenditure on what to use together, such as washing powder or rent. This can be thrown equally, and everything else is fun to spend on shmotochki, ice cream and new gadgets to the computer. A typical patriarchal model "the husband gives all the money and the wife plans to spend" is not for me, because that is still the responsibility. Unplanned, squandered - he thinks now where to get the money, and Nastenka sits in brand-new boots and thinks how to justify herself. No, it will not work.

In general, such here at me the non-standard approach to the finance.

Picture from the movie "12 chairs"