How to eliminate your negative emotions

We feel emotions every day, every minute, and they determine if we are happy or not.

Emotional independence means learning to be happy, every day . That's how:

1. What are emotions and how they work.
2. What if I could get rid of the suffering of your past?
3. Who decides your emotions?
4. If you believe in it, you'll be thrilled.
   5 . Good emotions and bad emotions.
5. Reality does not matter.
6. Emotional independence: learning to be happy, now.
   I suggest you follow the order I have chosen, because you are about to start a very important journey, which could change your life forever .

Let's start now!

What are emotions and how they work

Nathaniel Branden was a psychotherapist who wrote a very precise definition of what an emotion is: an evaluative reaction .

Here's what your emotions are, therefore: a evaluative reaction to something that happens to you .

This means that you see an episode, observe a friend's behavior, listen to the words on television, and feel an emotion in response to all this .

Anger in the face of injustice is the answer we take to address what is happening.

Just as the disappointment of a friend's betrayal is an answer that allows us to react to what happens to us.

However emotions are not simply a reaction to something. Also because so far it would be very obvious.

They are an evaluative reaction.

It means that before responding with anger to injustice, or disappointment to betrayal, you evaluate what is happening.

What does it mean to evaluate? It means that you express a judgment .

Emotions are the reactions you face to every situation that you live and depend on the judgment you make .

We are at the heart of emotional independence: every emotion depends on how you judge what happens to you .

I know, it sounds crazy, but I'm telling you this: emotion never depends on what happens to you .

And if you want, I stress it: never.

Here's what happens when you feel an emotion (and consider that it has always been this way since you were born, or born!):

Something happens with which you come into contact . Words, sounds, gestures, actions, facts, anything.
You evaluate what happens . Express a judgment which, as we will see further on, has two possible forms: positive or negative .
Emotion is born as an answer to that judgment , and not as an answer to what happens to you. If the judgment is positive, positive emotion. But if the judgment is negative, then we have a negative emotion.
Here's how emotions work.

They are reactions, that is, responses , evaluations, because it is us, you determine which reaction you will have .

This is the most difficult point to understand, so I have prepared a video to give you some practical examples that will take away any doubt.

The past does not count

It does not matter what happened, but your judgment .

The really important thing to understand is that it is not the judgment you had in the past to have weight, but the present one.

I'll explain it in a simple way: imagine an orange giraffe. Pretty, right?

Well, it's obvious that imagination is a process of the mind, it's a thought: you're thinking of an orange giraffe.

Now, if I ask you to imagine it yesterday, can you do it any more? Can you think of something yesterday?

No, because the past is over, yesterday does not exist and you can not think of anything.

You can do it now, now, at this very moment you can imagine, again, the orange, or blue, giraffe for a change!

Even if I asked you to imagine it tomorrow, you could not. You can do it only tomorrow. If you remember, tomorrow do it!

What am I trying to make you understand?

That you do not think neither tomorrow nor yesterday, but only today.

Whatever you do, you can do it now, never yesterday.

May I suggest you raise an arm two days ago? How could you, now those days have passed!

At this point it is clear that your emotions derive from your thoughts, and that you can elaborate a thought only today.

Memories are nothing but thoughts. Can you remember something yesterday ? If you remember an event in your life, is not it now that you remember it?

Of course, you think, memories, images, you live only in the present.

Since your emotions are the result of your thoughts, and therefore also of your memories, then you realize that it is today that you are creating them.

Another fundamental thing: emotions have no form and consistency . It's obvious.

If I tell you to show me an emotion you show me?

Anything!

If you felt anger a year ago, that emotion was born for your thoughts and dissolved shortly thereafter .

You can not take your emotions, perhaps for a lifetime.

Emotion is created by the mind only in the present .

And the emotion lasts only in the present, it is quick, instantaneous.

If you feel a long emotion, it's because you keep thinking in a certain way .

You do not live the emotions of yesterday, you live always and only today's emotions.

This means that your emotions, apparently linked to your past, you still create them, based on what you think, and you do it today.

It does not matter what happened and what you thought: what judgment do you have of your past today ?

This counts.

What do you think now.

If your thoughts are the same as two years ago, continue to create, every day, again, the same emotions.

You have not brought certain moods with you, you have created and recreated them every day, for years . And you continue, probably, to do it.

What happened to you, then, does not count , the past has no power over you .

That's why you think today that you're sick.

If you want to be happy, it is now that you can change everything, thoughts and judgments even on what happened ten years ago.

So the real problem is what you think now . Only the present counts.

To better understand how it is possible that the emotion derives from you, both you create it and not something that happens or is caused by the events of life, past, present or future, I want to explain how it is formed within us .

Emotions are a cultural process

The basic belief is that emotions are uncontrollable: they depend on what happens to us or what others do and for us there is nothing else to do.

Probably you too have always experienced every emotion as something passive that you endured, without any possibility of choice.

You've almost certainly never heard of Paul Ekman . He is a US psychologist who has worked extensively on emotions.

He deepened this study closely observe populations and tribes living without any contact with the West or with technological evolution, to understand the origin of emotions.

Ekman comes to a very simple conclusion: culture tells us what to try and when to do it .

In practice you grow and see continuously examples of what the best emotional response is in certain situations.

No child would feel offended because someone insults the state where he was born, but over time he learns that the offense is also directed against him, and the proud reaction is the right one.

Many fail, for example, to control anger .

So at least they say.

Yet they never make it explode in the church, or at the home of friends or if there are guests.

Many people who admit they can not manage their emotions, but are incredibly adept at choosing where and how to manifest them .

Culture tells you if to offend you and for what to do, when to be happy and how to demonstrate it.

As you have heard in the videos, there are cultures with very different approaches also about death, and this produces different emotions in those who live certain moments in life.

We are used to believe that emotions are a consequence of what happens to us.

If so, every person on this earth should always respond in the same way to certain situations .

But is not so.

How many times, when faced with a problem, did you have an opposite reaction to that of other people?

It often happens to me to remain calm while those close to me lose their head.

Why?

So many times it has happened to you not to understand the reasons why some people react in a way that you think is strange or unnatural .

If the emotion was really linked to what happens to us, we should all try it the same way , but this never happens.

Of course, most people react in a similar way .

The reason, as mentioned above, is that our culture teaches us how to feel and when to do it.

So almost everyone, certainly the majority, we will respond in a similar way, ending with the conviction that it is the episode that originates the emotion.

If you've listened to videos, you've already made, or rendered, an account, which in reality is not like that at all.

What determines, then, our emotions? What directs our judgment, this evaluation?

What we believe determines what we feel

First I explained to you that the judgment that determines the emotion can be positive or negative.

Express a positive judgment whenever you feel that what happens is favorable for you .

On the contrary, if you consider it a threat to you , the judgment will be negative.

Simple, no?

Then try negative emotions whenever you see a threat, a danger, a risk for you.

If, on the other hand, you think you are facing favorable or pleasant occasions, or something that will do you good, the judgment obviously changes completely.

Before understanding how you formulate this judgment, I tell you based on what you do: you want to be happy .

I explained what happiness is , and I invite you to find out right away, to make it clear that it is the goal we all want to achieve.

Happiness does not mean perfection or absence of problems. Happiness means positive emotions , for example, well-being, calm, serenity.

It means to live well .

Do not you want all this?

Or do you prefer to feel bad, feel negative emotions, feel down?

I guess not.

Well, the judgment you issue is about happiness: if one thing makes you happy, then your evaluation will be positive.

Here is based on what you think what happens: depending on what you think can make you happy or not.

Obviously this applies both from the material point of view, therefore physical, and from the psychological point of view.

But how do you understand if something makes you happy or not?

Or if you will do it tomorrow or in a year or not?

To determine it are all the rules and beliefs that you carry within .

Do you remember that I explained to you that emotions are organized by our society?

Well, this happens because our culture gives us rules that say what is good and what is bad, what will make us happy and what will not be able to do it.

In the end you believe that some things have this power, make you happy, and others do not.

What do you believe, therefore, determines how you feel.

We believe that finding a soul mate will make us happy, so we look for it and wish it all.
We believe that living alone is sad and we will be unhappy, so let's escape from loneliness .
We believe that the approval of others will make us feel good and their disapproval means that we are wrong.
We believe that to be happy we must have: relationship, work, success, respect, prestige, money, comfort, wealth, health and so on. So we want all this.
We believe that the past must always affect us and that what has happened will always make us feel bad, at least a little. Thus we live our history passively.
We believe we can not change, that those who are born round can not die square . So we do not even try to improve our lives.
What you believe determines your every judgment and therefore your every emotion.

In the video I gave you an example of billiard balls that can not come out of the frame of the table.

But we talk about emotional independence, what does it mean?

If your emotions are the result of your judgment, it is not what you will get to feel good, but if you think that this will happen.

I explain it better: you feel joy not because you won a game, but because when you win you "decide" to create joy within you.

You "decide" when you can be happy.

You have rules that set it and when you satisfy them, you allow yourself to feel good .

The same happens for every negative emotion: when something breaks your rules, you allow yourself to feel bad, to get angry or feel disappointed.

It sounds crazy, is not it?

You behave badly with me and I, to punish you, create disappointment and suffering .

Funny do not you think?

Is it possible that we are so foolish as to create the suffering we experience on our own ?

Yes and no.

We are not fools, but actually you are creating pain or sadness, and only you can create happiness .

Now I'll explain why you're doing one of these two choices.

Good or bad?

In reality there are no bad emotions.

As mentioned, they are a reaction dictated by our evaluations.

Why do we create emotions that make us feel bad?

Because we want to be happy!

I know it sounds like a contradiction, but it is not.

You have rules, as mentioned, that tell you what will make you happy.

Whenever these rules signal you a threat to your happiness, react with a negative emotion, to defend yourself.

Every negative emotion is an alarm signal .

They are not a negative but irreplaceable and fundamental factor.

Fatigue, hunger or thirst are very important signs. Every negative emotion has the same task.

In practice they have to push you to solve a problem, face a threat, remove a danger.

If the positive emotion, as an answer to something good, pushes you to open and welcome what you see and that you consider a source of joy, the negative emotion tells you to close.

You must defend yourself from what you consider a threat.

Attention, I wrote consider.

What happens if you're wrong? If your judgment takes for something positive threat?

It happens that you still feel a negative emotion and you close , just removing what you need.

I remind you that culture has established rules that say what is good and what is bad.

Are these rules always right?

No, on the contrary, I assure you that most are wrong .

I exaggerate?

Look around you, observe your life and that of others.

Everything you see is determined by these rules.

Do you feel surrounded or surrounded by love and happiness?

Why not?

Because the rules we follow are wrong and do not allow us to really get to be happy .

You must realize that emotions have a precise function: to lead you to live a happy life .

Faced with the things you consider capable of making you happy, right or wrong, you open up because your positive emotions invite you to welcome something good.

On the contrary, the negative ones must make you avoid dangers and threats, problems or difficulties.

Imagine being on the highway: negative and positive emotions are equivalent to the stripes on the asphalt, the road signs, the guardrail.

They help you to stay on course, not to end up off the road and to achieve your goal: to live a happy life.

It is obvious that if you are on the wrong way to destination you will never arrive.

Positive and negative emotions should give you the help you need to avoid making mistakes.

However the point is that a positive emotion is not, in itself, a guarantee that you are doing the right thing .

Remember that emotion does not depend on what you do or on the path you take, but on your judgment.

Imagine being in front of three doors.

Behind two of these there are hungry lions, while one hides a treasure that would make you the richest person in the world.

You can choose which door to open and one of the three inspires you, feel a positive feeling and open it.

Do you think that this is the right door just because you think so ?

Reality does not change for your thoughts, but you change your emotions and, therefore, your every decision .

To count on your emotions, to be sure that they are able to show you what is the right door, you must understand reality.

A crucial step is just this: in terms of emotions, reality does not matter .

Emotions and reality: it does not matter what happens but what do you think about it!
In reality there are no bad emotions.

As mentioned, they are a reaction dictated by our evaluations.

Why do we create emotions that make us feel bad?

Because we want to be happy!

I know it sounds like a contradiction, but it is not.

You have rules, as mentioned, that tell you what will make you happy.

Whenever these rules signal you a threat to your happiness, react with a negative emotion, to defend yourself.

Every negative emotion is an alarm signal .

They are not a negative but irreplaceable and fundamental factor.

Fatigue, hunger or thirst are very important signs. Every negative emotion has the same task.

In practice they have to push you to solve a problem, face a threat, remove a danger.

If the positive emotion, as an answer to something good, pushes you to open and welcome what you see and that you consider a source of joy, the negative emotion tells you to close.

You must defend yourself from what you consider a threat.

Attention, I wrote consider.

What happens if you're wrong? If your judgment takes for something positive threat?

It happens that you still feel a negative emotion and you close , just removing what you need.

I remind you that culture has established rules that say what is good and what is bad.

Are these rules always right?

No, on the contrary, I assure you that most are wrong .

I exaggerate?

Look around you, observe your life and that of others.

Everything you see is determined by these rules.

Do you feel surrounded or surrounded by love and happiness?

Why not?

Because the rules we follow are wrong and do not allow us to really get to be happy .

You must realize that emotions have a precise function: to lead you to live a happy life .

Faced with the things you consider capable of making you happy, right or wrong, you open up because your positive emotions invite you to welcome something good.

On the contrary, the negative ones must make you avoid dangers and threats, problems or difficulties.

Imagine being on the highway: negative and positive emotions are equivalent to the stripes on the asphalt, the road signs, the guardrail.

They help you to stay on course, not to end up off the road and to achieve your goal: to live a happy life.

It is obvious that if you are on the wrong way to destination you will never arrive.

Positive and negative emotions should give you the help you need to avoid making mistakes.

However the point is that a positive emotion is not, in itself, a guarantee that you are doing the right thing .

Remember that emotion does not depend on what you do or on the path you take, but on your judgment.

Imagine being in front of three doors.

Behind two of these there are hungry lions, while one hides a treasure that would make you the richest person in the world.

You can choose which door to open and one of the three inspires you, feel a positive feeling and open it.

Do you think that this is the right door just because you think so ?

Reality does not change for your thoughts, but you change your emotions and, therefore, your every decision .

To count on your emotions, to be sure that they are able to show you what is the right door, you must understand reality.

A crucial step is just this: in terms of emotions, reality does not matter .

Emotions and reality: it does not matter what happens but what do you think about it!

Emotional independence means that your emotions are independent of what happens to you .

Always.

I have certainly not invented this thing, it is the nature of every person, we are made like that.

Reality does not matter .

Someone claims that there are reactions that are instead uncontrollable, such as fear, because they derive from a primordial period of our evolution.

So you could leave a 6-month-old child to play with a poisonous spider or a snake, so naturally he is afraid of it and goes away.

Quite right?

Wrong , and you know it too.

If I do not consider something dangerous, I do not run away .

Reality does not matter.

If you find a bang of those who shoot at New Year's and it seems exploded, you will not be afraid, since you consider it harmless.

Maybe you take it in your hand and it explodes because you had misjudged it.

If your judgment is wrong, because that bang had not already exploded, it does not matter: reality does not change and your emotions are not related to reality, but to your judgment .

Remember that you feel positive emotions if you do not live something good, but only if you think you live it .

Do it all by yourself, or alone.

Why is this very important?

Because emotions guide you to live happy only if you can understand reality without being influenced by your patterns.

For example your culture, which tells you what to try, when and how, or the rules that determine your ideas on what will make you happy.

These patterns still generate emotions that guide you.

If they are wrong, because they are distorted from reality, your emotions will still tell you what to do, but it will not be the right choice.

Did you listen to the videos carefully?

Listen to all the examples, calmly.

Understanding emotional independence means understanding that you create your emotions and what actually happens, what others do, it does not matter .

Culture has taught you what should make you happy. He explained to you what should happen.

So welcome with joy, and feel positive emotions, all the things you think will be a source of happiness, even if you're wrong.

The trouble is that this illusion, considering something good that is not, does not last long and you end up believing that happiness does not last or is unattainable.

The secret is to understand that every emotion we create it ourselves .

If you now change the way you think, change the things you believe in and transform the vision of your life, you might be happy .

Now.

You have to start above all to become aware that reality is not like we are used to thinking about it .

Remember that emotion comes from how you judge what happens. If your vision is distorted, your judgment will be wrong.

So here it is essential to be able to see things for what they are and not for how they taught us.

Emotional independence: where to start
Now you have discovered that you create happiness and suffering .

Everything depends on you.

The rules you have always followed can be changed, coming to the awareness that you can look at life in a new way.

In authentic motorbike .

If you do this, your emotions will really become able to guide you to a happy life.

Usually we live negative emotions in the face of threats, true or presumed to be.

If you want to eliminate them, you do not have to change what you see, but how you judge it .

Nothing has the power to make you unhappy. You create every emotion.

If you understand this, you realize that nothing has the power to make you suffer.

Reaching emotional independence does not only mean understanding how we create emotions, but above all, understanding that the problem is the negative vision of what happens .

We are accustomed, that is, to consider threatening anything that is not as we like it.

Remember that you have rules that tell you when and how to be happy?

Well, everything that does not correspond, for you, will be a threat to be answered with a negative emotion.

In reality you have nothing to fear because you can be happy whatever happens.

What happens with positive emotion? What you open, welcome, you have curiosity, try, risk, experiment with enthusiasm .

Usually this answer you give it to things that go as you would like, when life conforms to your expectations.

Why limit your joy?

You do not need anything.

If you become aware that nothing and no one can make you happy, that you create this happiness inside of you, then it is obvious that you should not expect anything to be immediately.

But of course it is one of the most difficult challenges that exist and for this I created a guide that will accompany you to gradually and concretely realize all this.

Choosing your emotions does not mean becoming rational
Would you not want to go from anxiety to tranquility, even if you have a problem? Do not you prefer joy to sadness? When I say that you choose your emotions I mean that you can turn negative ones into positive ones.

There is no detachment, indifference or rationality: live intense , deep and true positive emotions , but the negative ones no longer control your life!

Emotional independence means that your emotions are independent of what happens to you .

Always.

I have certainly not invented this thing, it is the nature of every person, we are made like that.

Reality does not matter .

Someone claims that there are reactions that are instead uncontrollable, such as fear, because they derive from a primordial period of our evolution.

So you could leave a 6-month-old child to play with a poisonous spider or a snake, so naturally he is afraid of it and goes away.

Quite right?

Wrong , and you know it too.

If I do not consider something dangerous, I do not run away .

Reality does not matter.

If you find a bang of those who shoot at New Year's and it seems exploded, you will not be afraid, since you consider it harmless.

Maybe you take it in your hand and it explodes because you had misjudged it.

If your judgment is wrong, because that bang had not already exploded, it does not matter: reality does not change and your emotions are not related to reality, but to your judgment .

Remember that you feel positive emotions if you do not live something good, but only if you think you live it .

Do it all by yourself, or alone.

Why is this very important?

Because emotions guide you to live happy only if you can understand reality without being influenced by your patterns.

For example your culture, which tells you what to try, when and how, or the rules that determine your ideas on what will make you happy.

These patterns still generate emotions that guide you.

If they are wrong, because they are distorted from reality, your emotions will still tell you what to do, but it will not be the right choice.

Did you listen to the videos carefully?

Listen to all the examples, calmly.

Understanding emotional independence means understanding that you create your emotions and what actually happens, what others do, it does not matter .

Culture has taught you what should make you happy. He explained to you what should happen.

So welcome with joy, and feel positive emotions, all the things you think will be a source of happiness, even if you're wrong.

The trouble is that this illusion, considering something good that is not, does not last long and you end up believing that happiness does not last or is unattainable.

The secret is to understand that every emotion we create it ourselves .

If you now change the way you think, change the things you believe in and transform the vision of your life, you might be happy .

Now.

You have to start above all to become aware that reality is not like we are used to thinking about it .

Remember that emotion comes from how you judge what happens. If your vision is distorted, your judgment will be wrong.

So here it is essential to be able to see things for what they are and not for how they taught us.

Emotional independence: where to start
Now you have discovered that you create happiness and suffering .

Everything depends on you.

The rules you have always followed can be changed, coming to the awareness that you can look at life in a new way.

In authentic motorbike .

If you do this, your emotions will really become able to guide you to a happy life.

Usually we live negative emotions in the face of threats, true or presumed to be.

If you want to eliminate them, you do not have to change what you see, but how you judge it .

Nothing has the power to make you unhappy. You create every emotion.

If you understand this, you realize that nothing has the power to make you suffer.

Reaching emotional independence does not only mean understanding how we create emotions, but above all, understanding that the problem is the negative vision of what happens .

We are accustomed, that is, to consider threatening anything that is not as we like it.

Remember that you have rules that tell you when and how to be happy?

Well, everything that does not correspond, for you, will be a threat to be answered with a negative emotion.

In reality you have nothing to fear because you can be happy whatever happens.

What happens with positive emotion? What you open, welcome, you have curiosity, try, risk, experiment with enthusiasm .

Usually this answer you give it to things that go as you would like, when life conforms to your expectations.

Why limit your joy?

You do not need anything.

If you become aware that nothing and no one can make you happy, that you create this happiness inside of you, then it is obvious that you should not expect anything to be immediately.

But of course it is one of the most difficult challenges that exist and for this I created a guide that will accompany you to gradually and concretely realize all this.