Letter From An Ex Lover

Happy New month to you all, it's been a while and I've really missed you all.

I actually started my compulsory 1 year service to my country and that's why I've been off and on here. Let me quickly drop this wonderful piece as I could not help but get emotional after reading this... Ukelvis is simply super creative and i wish I could shoot her to the moon.

"How are you doing?
I know you are good...
I Mean why should I think less...
When I've heard so many things you've achieved without me...
I am proud of you...

Though most of the time I become human and I feel jealous...
Because every time I think that it should have been me by your side...
I hurt...

I heard she's beautiful...
And probably better than I was...
And I'm still wondering if you told her stories while she cooked your meal...
Just like you always do to make me smile...

You know you made me realize that I was temporary...
And no matter how hard we tried, The white gown didn't just fit the picture...
Though sometimes I wished I was permanent...
But you know even the permanent marker
Can be wiped off...

Your little sister called the other day...
She said she misses me...
I hate to say this but 'I miss her too'...
I miss the fact that I became a part of your family And a part of you...

I miss that you told me I would conquer the world by your side...
I Mean you said I could conquer the world with one hand while you held the other hand...
But you left my hand hanging...
So am gonna conquer more than the world...
Am gonna conquer my fears too with my hands not holding yours...
Because you are my biggest inspiration...

I was picking a song for an audition the other day...
And I thought of how much we loved singing 'don't let me down' by chainsmoker...
Nobody warned me then that finally I'll be the one let down...

I need to feel something...
So I turn the music so loud And I cry...
But I feel nothing cos I'm empty...
Right now everything reminds me of you...

When you walked out, I told myself I was gonna find someone better...
I lied...
I didn't want you to know how much I was hurting...
How my head begged you to stay...
I knew you would stay if I asked you to...
But I didn't want to feel less...
I watched you go...

I'm standing at the edge of the water ready to drown...
But I won't drown cos you inspire me to live...
and though I realized too late...
I love you...
This is not just poetry...
It is me saying what I feel...
I hate to say it but I know you won't get to hear it...

I'm sorry I got too proud...
And my ego overshadowed my feelings...
But am always proud of you...
And am gonna live..."