Comedy Open Mic Round # 16 (First Entry)

in #comedyopenmic6 years ago (edited)

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It was a rainy afternoon, the lights of the street lighting began to turn on as the Wallker family went on their luxurious car, to their apartment in Villgreen, a prestigious residential complex that very few people could show off.

The father was driving, listening from his sound equipment, Viennese waltzes that were his favorite, the sleepy mother, rested at his side giving clear signs of fatigue for having spent the day in Happykids, the city's spectacular amusement park for the enjoyment of big and small.


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Kate and Marilin, the daughters of the couple, were in the backseat. Kate of 12 years, excellent student and member of the cultural ballet of the city, prodigious performer of the classical violin, was the pride of their parents. Marilin, 8 years old, suffered from a type of childhood glaucoma that had deteriorated her vision from 4 years until she lost it completely. Motionless and silent as she used to be due to her condition, Marilin with nobility listened to her sister whisper in her ear.

-We came from the park, we had a good time, I rode all the mechanical devices with my mother, I saw all the circus shows they presented and the end with the fireworks was the best of the day. And you could not do anything because you're blind!

Marilin felt in his heart as if they were stabbing his sister's words, he did not understand why so much evil on his part, he just kept quiet and did not say anything to his parents about the constant abuses of his older sister. And so they followed the road home.

-We go through the Noorwood park, which beautiful trees look and there are all kinds of flowers of all colors, what a beautiful landscape and you can not see it because you are blind!

A small tear ran down Marilin's cheek, but she remained motionless and submissive in the face of such a grievance.

-We're arriving at the building where we live, Wao !! how big it is, 50 floors of pure marble and first finishes next to the best green areas of the city, and you can not see it because you are blind!

They parked the vehicle in front of the entrance, quickly a valet received the driver to take the vehicle to the parking lot, another two opened the doors and left the mother and the girls, they greeted everyone at the reception very cordially and prepared to retire to their apartment , in the elevator that would take them straight to the penthouse, Kate continued her harassment.

We go in the elevator, how beautiful are the colored buttons, how they go on as we go up to the pent-hose, but you do not see it because you're blind!

Marilin clenched a fist and holding her breath she counted to ten in her innocent and childish mind.

Upon reaching the apartment, Kate approached Marilin more and told him.

-We arrived at the house, how beautiful the Christmas, how many ornaments there are, how big the tree and how many lights illuminate it, the star in the tip shines like the sun. How many Christmas dolls and mistletoe and garlands adorn all the frames and you can not see anything because you are blind!

Finally, with tears in her eyes and enduring the pain, Marilin decided to get out of her lethargy and submission, it was almost 4 years of abuse and although at her young age, she had made a promise to her parents. That he was never going to say anything to Kate. She stood in front of his sister and whispered in her ear slowly and quietly.

-I can not see all the wonderful things that you see because I'm blind, but you damn, with the Leukemia you have you do not get to December, that's why dad and mom celebrate Christmas now in July !!

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Nomine for this round to @mariqyes and @marinesb

If you want to participate enter Here

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Please edit your entry: 1) the first paragraph, "went on their luxurious car of the year", 2) You refer to Marilin as both he/his and she/her, I assume she is a she, 3) the last paragraph, the punchline, needs to be stated more clearly.

Thanks for your advice, I already made some corrections.

You're are right. This is a scary joke and a little sad.

Evil, revenge and humor are not good together

comedy is but tragedy with a clown nose. sweet dark story!

Thanks friend, I'm glad you read it

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