What Does "Success" Look Like, to YOU?
"Success" is one of those buzzwords that gets tossed around a lot... and it's typically used in very general and generic contexts.
Daisy in the sun
Walk into your average bookstore (yes, I know, I'm OLD-- I still read paper books!) and you'll find hundreds of titles on the subject of building success; cruise the web for a while and there are thousands of web sites and dozens of ostensible "gurus" offering spendy seminars to teach you "The Secrets To A Successful Life."
It can all sound alluring and promising, but it can actually be problematic, for several reasons
Comparisons can be Depressing and Deadly
Of course, we all tend to compare ourselves to others. That's a natural part of being human.
Looking through the window
However, a lot of people lose sight of the fact that they are making unfair and unequal comparisons... and then they end up feeling bad about themselves, as a result.
Just consider a snake pit like Facebook.
What we see on Facebook is everyone posting about their new jobs, their promotions, their vacations to Bora Bora and their honors student grandkids.
Suddenly our own lives pale by comparison. It seems like everyone else has it "so much better."
But let's remember that social media tends to be a "highlight reel" of people's lives... and when we start comparing OUR reality to someone else's highlight reel, of course that's not going to stack up very favorably!
But that's really a minor problem.
How do YOU Define Success? How we "Inflate" Generic Language
The truth about "success" is that is really a very individual thing. My success may not be your success, and vice-versa. We all tend to know this... but it's easy to forget when we come face to face with something "big and shiny."
Calla lilies in the sun
I remember a few weeks back, some fairly major "success motivational guru" had just joined Steemit, and I started looking a some of his content... based on a resteem by one of the people I follow.
As I read through several of his posts, I quickly realized two things: One, he was clearly quite "successful," and two, very little of what he said or had to offer held any meaning or attraction for me.
Being driven and compelled to work 70 hours a week promoting what seems like slightly dodgy venures primarily for the purpose of being able to show off your Lamborghini and luxury yacht is not the kind of success I'm looking for. Never was.
After reading his fourth of fifth posts-- which all struck me as being rather a "song of one note"-- the only thing that came to mind was a desire to leave a very simple comment: "Yes, but are you truly HAPPY?"
I refrained.
But the "takeaway" I had was a reminder that-- for a few brief moments-- I was questioning my own sense of success because it seemed somehow "defective" and small; I had "inflated" his interpretation of success even if it wasn't anything like my own wants, needs and desires.
You Are YOU-- Define Success for YOURSELF!
This petunia is a "success." Petunias are annual plants, but this one is THREE YEARS old
I get that there are certain facets of success that might look pretty general and be common to most of us, but never lose sight of the fact that "success" is really a very individual thing... and while comparisons to others and what they are doing might be interesting and informative, your success is your own thing.
And therein lies-- perhaps-- the single most important formula for success: The ability to analyze and think for yourself.
We're all unique individuals with unique dreams, wants and desires. And whereas getting the idea that you want to "Become Just Like Bob Bigshot" might look good on paper... you're not Bob, you're you... and only your life can be meaningful to you.
And I say that from the experience of having known several ambitious people who chased "someone else's dream," on;y to discover they were really not that happy when they reached what they believed to be their "dream destination."
Always be yourself! Besides... everyone else is already TAKEN!
How about YOU? How do you define success? Do you feel like your version of success is mostly the result of looking at others and wanting what they have? Or is it the result of looking within, and determining what would make YOU happy? Or some of each? Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- be part of the conversation!
(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Posted 20170705 23:57 PDT
You are right, success depends upon the individual and how they are looking to achieve it. Someone said to me "To be successful focus on the destination but enjoy the journey". He doesn't mean enjoy by having fun, he meant that enjoy the struggles and things that put you down, because when you turn negative into positive you are one step closer to your destination.
Wise words... I've heard variations on that idea several times. "It is better to travel well than to arrive" and suchlike. Ultimately, there is no such thing as smooth sailing though life, so we might as well embrace the bumps...
what does success look like to me?
it means being relatively stress free. Not having to worry that I might DIE , or worse, those who depend upon me might suffer disaster, if I can't keep on juggling. Success is not having to keep all of the balls in the air.
Success is being able to enjoy myself knowing that my fundamental (and those who depend upon me) are met.
Maslows hiearchy of needs sums it up fairly well.
Pretty much what I strive for, as well.
I've used the juggling analogy for a long time... and I'm content to juggle fewer balls.
Some of it-- I admit-- may simply be the experience of no longer being a spring chicken.
Success is freedom; the freedom to be ourselves without that having consequences for others.
This is a successful post whether you make $200 or $0. You are giving wisdom and life through your words which has so much weight and significance in comparison to these things which are supposed to make our lives "better". The things you mentioned are priceless nuggets of wisdom. Success is about the intangibles of life like love, peace, integrity, honor. This is my weight scale so to speak of what success is.
Unexpected... but agreed! It's a successful post... because the words evidently engaged people enough to get them thinking... and they left comments! Engagement! The post is already successful... regardless of the reward.
Thanks for the comment!
Happiness will have to be my main success criteria. I have, found it rather hard to actively pursuit it though. Happiness (success) seems to find me when I just am.
Just being includes:
Playing with and being close to my kids
Listening to audio books
Participating on Steemit
Writing
Successfully giving professional advise (consulting) at work
Getting into a state of flow doing whatever with a cup of coffee at my side
ronni
Happiness/contentment ("velvære") is close to the top of mine, as well. Success is feeling good about how life is turning out... feeling like there is meaning to my contributions to work, to friendships, to relationships.
@denmarkguy - Success to me is achieving something that gives me satisfaction. It could be something as simple as climbing mount Everest or as difficult as making my wife smile :)
Jokes apart, I do think that Success, Happiness and every one of those 'inflated' words (as you aptly say), is a matter of perception. When the comparison is with one's own goals, success is fairly easy to achieve but when comparison is with someone else's goals or achievements, it becomes a mirage. Thank you for making me think about my Success definitions. Time to revisit my goals again 😝
Thanks for sharing. Upvoted.
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For me, the most important this is just that we "SELF-define" success... and don't let too much "I want to be just like XYZ" thinking cloud our own truth. I know what success looks like-- in my own life-- but many an outsider looking in would call it "strange," or me an underachiever.
Ultimately, I'm the one who has to be impressed with my life... not someone else.
To me, success means contentment with where I am at the moment. While doing something that benefits my future self.
I see every day as a brick in the house I am building, a new and better, stronger me.
If every week has been successful like this, I see it as a new centerpiece to the building and when I look back over a period of a year I will see that all of my little efforts have turned into a big thing already.
Staying true to your daily positive habits and rituals for a period of multiple years can only reflect in what some would call success!
I like your analogy of days as bricks in the house you're building... and, as such, each well-laid brick is its own success.
And that's an excellent definition of success, from where I am sitting! And you're quite right... it has to be authentic and deep.
Success to me is a balance between being happy now and having good things set up for the future.
One can be happy in the moment with gluttony, getting high and watching TV all day, but that rarely lasts more than a week before depression sets in. On the other hand, being happy AND active, with things to do and challenges to overcome, is the true goal I think.
I'm with you that Lambos and VIP service at expensive clubs is 0% of what I need to be happy! Although I wouldn't mind Tesla one day...
Sure, one can be "happy" getting baked senseless... but it's a pretty thin and temporary "happy."
Sometimes success is doing what we set out to do for our own gratification... and learning that we had a positive effect on the lives of others, in the process.
I will be odd but i think differently ☺ To me every form of life is a success.. living on earth as mortals is a success..
God has given us tremendous endless flaws to flow in... and problems begin when we start encircling our own self...
Rising from child to growing up as adult or old is also success because not all get young and not all get old!!!! There are many that give up their breaths going forward!!!
Enjoying is a success.. Praising creation of God is a success.. because not all praise and not all see what you see! I like your post very much... simple and clear and i also say... Be What You Are to have success!!!
Have a good day and Steem On!
I can definitely appreciate where you are coming from... along similar lines, I could say that anything that leads to my wishing to express gratitude means it was a success.
Thanks for your comment!
Well said!!!!! Nice.. 👍 I wish you success in everything you do.. ☺
Thank you for reminding me that success is being a better me :) I think it's more important to concentrate on our own battle than to be too concerned about how much better others are doing.
When we focus on other people, or want to be like other people, the point is totally gone. Personal development is the concept that will bring you your success, which is highly personal.
Comparisons can be pretty deadly... when we compare to others, all we really see is the "shiny" outside... but we really have no idea what's going on inside that person.