My Dialysis Went Well Without A Fuss Today 🩸🧹👌🏻

My Blood Pressure Didn't Go Down This Time

We just got back home and my dialysis session went okay and surprisingly my BP didn't crash this time where in past sessions I would really experience below normal and it is discomforting because I get those weird neck pains that is hard to endure but I am trying to endure nonetheless because I simply needed to finish the session as it is really important to me to wash my system and complete the water drawing process to help me at least relieve my breathing.

Anyway I do not know what happened to my blood pressure but what I just did today was to eat two hours after I got hooked up. So I guess that it just contributed into sustaining my body with needed sugars, protein compounds, and electrolytes until the end of the treatment. But I wonder if it was the reason behind it.

Next dialysis God-willing that is what I would do, just to eat prior and after two hours so that at least I could fuinish up my session without wasting valuable blood-washing and water-drawing time because I really needed to complete my sessions as I do not have much dialysis allocations from my government health insurance.

My Body Is Heavy And Weak And My Bones Are Painful

It is happening once again and my body pains are returning but the factor is that I am just so weak with my body lately and I do not know what to do but to continue my medication and hope that it will go out again. I remember just having this pain a few months ago because I just waited i toff until the pain subsides until it went gone but not completely gone.

Now I do not know if I would expect more good things to come to me regarding my physical body because it seemed like things just slowed down and not stopped. My frustration is up to the skies because i wanted to have my parathyroidectomy but it is hard to get it without necessary funds and after-surgery care and management of complications.

My hands are toed so to speak while realizing that there isn't much time anymore and or it could have been too late many years ago. Now I am just here suffering from hard to manage pain and misery. Now my tailbone is acting up and I felt so weak, it is even hard to get up and sit on my bed. So I pray to God to help me because it is all too much to bear both mentally and physically as well as financially which is the worst part of this ordeal.

I Can Still See The Rays Of Hope For My Being

I am still not losing hope with my dreaded situation and condition as long as I can still walk a bit and stand-up and bathe myself inside the bathroom I am still okay and grateful with that still. What I do not like is being like a vegetable and totally reliant in other people just to make me live my life and continue.

But actually I wanted to die already because obviously I am not enjoying this life anymore. It is different when you just have manor difficulties in life or with your illness but this issue with my own complicated illness is different already because it keeps on progressing negatively making my eyes pop out in hardship in many ways not only physically.

But I have to continue nonetheless because it is the only thing I could do as I could not take my own life and "end it all up." I should have died a long time ago but some force out there is just making me live and suffer because I do not like what is happening to me already, it is really too much too bear and to long of a time already.

I needed All Prayers In The World

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