My Body Is So Thin And Yet So Heavy

Day by day it seemed that my body is consumed by my own imbalances. Too bad that my Parathyroid medicine is not able to control fully on what is must control and just slow things down which is the progression of my Leontiasis. My facial bone actually receded a little but my joints themselves continue to deteriorate as manifested by the pain and thus my inability to walk normally.

I am now dependent on using my government-donated wheelchair which I use to move around near or far because walking is near impossible now which I could not exercise because of the involvement of the pain in my feet, knees, and back.

It is just preventing me in doing other things that I loved doing before which are cooking, gardening, and simply just going to church is now impossible. Well I could go to church if they would allow me to lay down on a bed somewhere but our church had been developed to house persons that would only sit and not lay down.

Plus I would not like to be such a drag for my companions like my mother and my brother so I just decided to be missioned here in my home by my church so that at least I could hear that the bible teaches through a recorded video for the sake of my inner strength.

Source

It is just my inner strength that gives me motivation to live my life and enjoy what is left for me because almost all I think will be taken away like the function of my limbs, eyes, and even hearing. So I pray to God to really just take my spirit before any of those happens because I do not want to be locked-up in a body that cannot function anymore.

Right now at least I am not in deep pain so all I have to do is to be still and not to move much so that I will not touch any moving joints that causes much discomfort and pain. Even moving unto my side is not that easy because of the Ribs. Still I am hoping that things will improve but that takes a medical intervention which needs funding.

That is why I am still working nonstop here at steem just for me to be able to earn a bit that hopefully I could use in my future medical goals but it still needs some degree of miracle to happen as my condition is so complex that I might not find a doctor that will be willing to take my case.