Dear Diary: Yehey Because It is Is My Dialysis Day

I am now preparing for my dialysis or should I say "My mother will prepare me" because I could not easily put on my clothes so I am getting her assistance. It just sucks when you cannot put on your clothes yourself and I didn't came into my mind that I will be in this situation when I am near-totalled with my disabilities.

If it wasn't for the pain issues in my joints I could do my rituals before going for my dialysis especially taking a bath because I always take a bath whenever I would go out. Now I couldn't go on with myself because of my hip joint pain.

So right now I wouldn't go to the bathroom until I want to use the toilet and that need just forces me to get up on my feet which is brutally hard because it involves pain. I am just trying to do it because I wanted to survive and maybe soon to achieve my goals if it is all possible.

Dialysis makes me feel clean inside literally so I like it if not for the discomfort it also brings when my Blood pressure drops. If only I could have thrice a week sessions then it would get easier but due to its financial burden it is not possible since I have to procure myself the needed medicine which are not cheap. I hope that God have mercy on me because it is getting harder to manage.