Dear Diary: There are Four Of Us With My Siblings And Suffering Is My Twin Brother
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It is so frustrating not being able to walk freely without exertion, breathlessness, fatigue, and pain. They do not go away and have been with me for many years now. I remember the time when my spine bone is collapsing I felt this stabbing sensation on my side and wasn't able to walk for a week. Upon walking after that week things changed.
The collapsing spine bone gradually had been squeezing my lungs. At first it feels like that my lungs are being squeezed when I walk because it is really what it was. Then it came to a point that every slight exertion that I do makes me run out of air. I would just stoop down like a Japanese bowing to an emperor than I would catch my breath.
It is not just breathlessness is my issue but also my marked weakness. Then there is also the stiffness when I get up or lay down on my bed, I would feel the curvature of my spine straightening gain as it conforms to the contour of the flat bed. So it scares me how soft my spine is so I am careful not to over exert myself lest I will get the risk of a possible paralysis god forbid that from happening.
Now that every joint in my body is affected it gives me a lot of unsolicited pain whenever I walk so it terrifies me to walk or even sit for so long because my joints now are not healthy anymore. What is painful is that my expensive medicine isn't curing it well enough, just enough to keep my nose up from the water is what it is doing.
So I am just thankful and grateful that even though I am like these in a very hopeless situation I still keeping it all together with my mental state of mind. All I need is the love that I get from family and particularly this community at steemit, they changed my life and they are my hero and may God bless and keep them all.
My goals are still set and I am determined to achieve it so I can move forward and not get idle otherwise I will certainly lose my sanity over these kinds of suffering, a twin brother that I do not want and yet a part of my lifetime already.
wait 💪for the crypto market do a 5x or 10x and... there's your new house (and my lambo 🤣😂🤣😂!
Ha ha Let's hope and keep the faith for steem @leeuw :P
You know, I have read a few of your posts and I think something that would really help you is Vipassana meditation. Have you ever heard of it, or considered going on a retreat? They are 10 days free of charge all around the world. You can see if they are available in your country at dhamma.org
I don't know if your medical situation allows for it, but I have seen it help a lot of people with really bad pain and disabilities. In my last retreat I talked with a guy with severe MS and he was crying at how much relief he got from practicing.
Thank you for your help @nuthman I see the meditation require sitting for long and it is impossible for me to do such activity plus meditation is a Buddhist activity or related to it and my religion forbids me in joining such activity.
God bless you Sir.
I completely understand!
Mucha fuerza @cryptopie por tu salud no camines mucho y recuerda lucha y pelea por lo que quieres
A lot of faith and patience, friend, @cryptopie.
TBH you are an inspiration to us as well. I hope that Steem can go up and up so you will be able to get more of the things you need.
Never give up and keep working and believing in your goals. One day you will see them real.
Keep going ☺️💙
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