Dear Diary: I Do Not Feel Well This Instance

I tried to watch some youtube videos trying to snag some urge to sleep but I can't seem to get sleepy. Well maybe because I slept this morning but my main complaint right now is my sudden weakness and it feels like my arms are wimp and limp than usual.

I also feel that I have a low blood pressure which might explain my restlessness. I am not surprised of all these complications because I am near my dialysis schedule which about six hours from now.

I am a bit breathless too which I thought earlier that I wasn't so I just have to endure this one and pray that I could sleep so I won't feel much of these discomfort that I am experiencing. Part of my weakness maybe is due to my inability to eat well because of my appetite-loss that I believe will never get solved as long as I am taking my Parathyroid medicine.

I have a love-hate relationship with my Parathyroid medication, it saved me from backpain (almost) but it gives me the misery of being unable to eta normally and that is happening for more than a year now. You can just imagine the endurance that I am doing just to be able to save myself from pain.

Maybe after my dialysis I will feel well again and God willing it will happen after an hour of being hooked up and by that time I can be able to eat again which means that I am well again. It sucks to live this way but I have to options but to persevere and have a hope in my heart afterall there are people still out there that cares and loves me even though I know that there is nothing to be desired about me.