Dear Diary: I Cannot Afford Not To Eat

My Usual Breakfast Of A Stir-Fried Noodles With Chicken Innards Plus Rice

I thank God that I was able to eat this morning, I managed to eat because I haven't eaten anything from the last 18 hours and that made me get a little desire to eat which is just I needed so that at least I can put some nutrition in my body.

I just had my usual breakfast, if I am to choose I really just want to eat if I am hungry but doing so will make me lose more weight which can be detrimental for my health. I wanted to gain as much weight as I can but it is really proving to be difficult as I am having issues with my appetite and plus this breathing issues that had been plaguing me thanks to my nurses that are also a cause of my misery.

I do not like how these new nurses treats the patients, they are so inexperienced and the tree is known by its fruits, their fruits are the patients and the patients just doesn't look good because even newer patients cannot even walk and guess why?, extra fluid build-up in the body.

Most patients in my dialysis center are looking bloated with their bellies and faces and the nurses are to blame because they do not address that issue. What is important to them is just to dialyze the patient somehow without trying to do the goal of taking all the extra water from the patient's system and what happens of course that the patient would feel ill.

Anyway I am just trying to survive so I am taking care about my diet, it is too restricted and there are a lot of prohibited foods including dairy which happens to be one of my favorite, I could not have much of it because for one thing I am lactose intolerant plus dairy products have phosphorus which can exacerbate my hyperparathyroidism.

I just hope that things will get better soon always and maybe God will not take his mercy on me because this life I know is really not for me.