Dear Diary: I Am Getting ready For My Neverending Dialysis Session

A few minutes from now my mother would come here in my room and ask me if I want to go to the bathroom already. I will then get up and let them assist me to the heavy-duty, government-issued wheelchair of mine with towel on my waist after stripping my short pants and undies.

It seems so simple to do but standing to strip off my clothes is really quite difficult for me to do especially if I am waterlogged with fluids as I get breathless when I do that.

If only I can do without using the bathroom or maybe not eating for that matter I will do it but I needed to accomplish those because it is a part of life, my dear life. Well if I can just die easy like switching of a light to turn it off then I might have done that a long time ago because of obvious reasons that this lifetime of mine is near hopeless.

But I know that God is working for me so I just continue on with my life and see what will the future holds for me. It is just crazy that I am wanting to live longer because I really do not know what is the point of living if you are disabled and cannot do much in your life except to exist.

I still want to live and die 50/50, either of the two is okay now for me, meaning if I would die today that is still wonderful. But this lifetime is unique, you can never live again except when Christ comes again. So I am just valuing this life because there is no restart button in this life of ours, all we just have to do is to move forward and try to pursue happiness because as humans we needed to be happy because unhappiness is what we are all trying to avoid.

That is why we needed each other's company, in fact we will get crazy if we have no one to talk to in an indefinite period of time. We are social creatures that is why when the first human was created God created a woman as he saw Adam is as bored as ef.

Talking about boredom, I am really bored and frustrated as hell. But thankful I have the Internet and with this tool I am at least entertained and at the same time earning, what a better way to spend my time without wasting much of it sitting, sleeping, or watching boring TV shows.

So I am grateful that steem came into my life and with this I can say that I am not much of a burden and a problem to my family anymore because I get to help myself through the help of my steemian friends like you.

Anyway I will be on my way to my session in a few hours and I am just happy that my blood will get cleaned again with that machine that had saved lives of many already. If an inanimate object could go to heaven a dialysis machine is one of them.