Dear Diary: Another Two Comrades Of Mine At Dialysis Falls Again And I Am Happy For Them
It is just sad when a co-patient dies in dialysis. Thankfully I do not make friends with them because I am just afraid to get depressed when I lose them. The other patient that rested already in peace was a British gentleman married to a Filipina that really had taken care of him. I am glad that he is rested now because he is always in pain like me when I was not yet taking my Parathyroid medicine.
In dialysis it is different, you see your co-patient at least twice a week, you have the same or similar problem, you have sympathy with each other, and you really know what each other is going through. The same with the nurses but I know they are taught not to get so attached to the patients but some are really making friends with patients usually because of mutual benefits.
Nurses usually are bribed with foods at dialysis so when they receive such gifts the patient can ask them to put on this or that schedule and or to oversee the care to such patient. I know it because I had been a patient for 17 years now.
I myself do not do that although I want to because of their service but I am always not feeling well at dialysis time that I just do not want to talk to anyone much less chit-chatting and making friends and such just for them to take extra care of me.
So what happens now is that my nurses just ignores me and doesn't greet me when I arrive at the center, it just amazes me. That is okay though because I am always keeping things to myself due to my being quite shy in nature plus my appearance and speech impediment aren't helping me either in socializing for the fear of making fun of by the nurses as they always do even to each other when the person of object is not around.
Anyway as with my co-patients that rested in peace already I am happy with them because being in this situation is really not living, it is just to survive. I do not want every co-patient of mine suffer the same fate as me so it is just better for them to die fast and soon because it's either to get a Kidney transplant or just die immediately.
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Your last words really saddened me. I cannot imagine what you ate going through -- it's one of those things that's just heartbreaking and weighs on my mind when I see your posts.
How much more money a month do you think you would need to make your life considerably more comfortable? Maybe there is something we can do to raise money for you.
I do not want to see you suffer and speaking of death as a thing to be wishful for.
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It is hard to say how much money i needed but I reckon that it would take so much as I needed multiple surgeries and post-operative expenses to take care of too.
How much do you currently spend a month on your medical expenses if you dont mind me asking? What would you say is the bare minimum, we can start brainstorming with that
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It is always necessary to make friends with what we always keep you happy and not depressed. Glad you did and sorry to hear about the