Self Abandonment
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8 years ago in #philosophy by clayboyn (70)
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Self Abandonment
View this post on Hive: Self Abandonment
Very well said
I feel self abandonment is really when you dont understand boundaries and are too influenced by everyone else's opinion of you and how you should live your life. This clearly is linked to the fear of abandonment. We need to face our fears I think to learn to trust ourselves more. Not an easy route, but it is by living the experience we can learn. I have recently started doing some soul healing work. This is about connecting to the inner child and understand when and where that child was hurt and scared. We often get stuck in those areas and so dont really grow up. Helping that inner child head is about hearing that child's voice and then parent ourselves. Then we learn to hear what our soul really wants and help ourselves overcome blocks and destructive patterns.
I agree with what you're saying about healing and breaking the patterns and blocks. I am just considering why even after we do all of that we can still hold on to things or people that we know we need to let go of and what the motivation may be. We can heal old wounds and then turn around and make new ones even when we know better and are conscious of it. I've done it and seen others do it, so the question remains as to why and what motivates it.
Well, then I dont think those patterns are completely broken :-) I have health with these issues a lot myself, and asked myself many questions. I do believe that if we are "healthy" and self loving, those people would have little interest to us. Some connections seem almost "magical" and I have stayed it out, understanding there are lessons to be learned. The reward for this I find, is that we can learn what unconditional love is really all about. Then you can still have love for them, but choose to let them go. Eventually you do.
Agreed, perhaps grieving is just part of the process and it's never meant to be instant. It's just a curious thing to me to grieve people now even though I don't really believe any of us ever really end. Perhaps the grief isn't even about the other person and just about subconscious attachments to hopes or expectations. Either way it's a good reminder to always be present and grateful for the moments we share with others as we never really know when we part again.
this is a good reflection. i've been working out the aspects of anger in this too, and how women are affected by this because they are more socially conditioned to loyalty, commitment and the repression of anger for the sake of peace. hence we see this in the stereotypical clinging female, the wife who stays despite abuse, etc. it seems to me a hypocritical standard that we overlook. a damned if you do, damned if you dont.
This is pretty excellent clay... a very balanced take that invites reflection...
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Fear is one of those things you need to find a balance in it. Too much and that’s just no way to live life. Not enough and suddenly you turn into a rather cold hearted person who does not seem to care as risk is meaningless.
Self-abandonment is an interesting one I really don’t think much about it. I’ve known people in the past who only cared about themselves. The universe revolved around them. Everything was about them. Everything not about themselves was pointless.
Walking around in life with the thickets armor around you means no one truly gets to hug you. I don’t see it as self-abandonment when I want to comingling with another person. It simply an attempt to make something bigger than oneself. Humans are interesting because they often lack the ability to realize what they have given up till it’s far beyond that. They lack the ability to understand how good the good times where without the struggling during the bad times either. This also means at some point we have to realize the things we suffer for are not always bigger then ourselves and are not worth the pursuit any longer.
Too much fear and you will endlessly suffer because you think it will be far worse not to. Not enough and you will never be willing to compromise to create that thing that is greater than one’s self. Somewhere in the insanity of it all is not something that is perfect; instead, something worth fighting for.
I tend to view the "guarded" way of interacting with others from the fear of commitment/attachment point of view, but this makes sense too.
Self-abandonment huh, now that's an interesting concept! I like to think of it as the fear of becoming so tunnel visioned that we are afraid of losing the ability of zooming back out. Perhaps being lucid in our own awareness, and afraid that we will forget our progress.
You bring up an interesting point. Those who cling—to them, they may be clinging onto an individual person. But even if that person failed to exist, the experiencer's abandonment issues are a property of themselves that would persist in a different situation regardless.
Spooky.
I think most of what we feel for others is projection and the power we give them over ourselves is going to persists with or without them until we fix the core wounds in our own experiences. Just my thoughts.
Some good thoughts to have. Any person that has a "problem with someone else" more than likely just has it within themselves.
really nice writing sir... interesting article sir... 👍
Wow Such a great post ..