The Sexual Prowess of Calabar Ladies: A Stigma not a Compliment!!!

Calabar is the capital of Cross River State, Nigeria. However when the phrase "Calabar People" is used, it is usually used to refer to people from both Akwa Ibom State and Cross River State. As a matter of fact, the term "Calabar People" is used in the same way people would use phrases like "Yoruba People", "Igbo People" etc.codecode

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It is a common belief among people that calabar ladies are very good in bed, in such a way that when a lady who has been identified as a "calabar woman" meets a man who isn't a calabar man for the first time, the first set of thoughts or questions that the man will ask her is "is it true that calabar girls are good in bed?"

It makes me wonder if all calabar girls (as popularly called) are sex-trained (permit me to use that compound word) from infancy to become awesome sexual partners in adulthood or if all calabar girls have this thing may be a gene that flows in them which possesses them with or without their will making them sexually more capable than other women in Nigeria.

It has gotten to a stage where most of our Nigerian home videos usually portray a calabar girl as the maid who ended up snatching her madam's husband because of her sexual prowess while the madam will obviously be of a higher class, financially, educationally and all round except sexually. It makes one wonder how and when the term "sexual prowess" became an achievement considering the fact that the man will end up going back to his wife when he is done with her or when he knows that, she can't offer him anything other than good sex and in most cases good meals.

Many calabar ladies (even the educated ones) would easily take it as a compliment when a random or regular man ask "if all calabar ladies were truly good in bed as popularly said. Most of them don't even understand the implication of this question. It could mean so many things but absolutely nothing positive. I agree that men need good sex but at the same time, there's much more a man requires from a woman than good sex and delicious meals.

No offense but if one was to take away sex from many marriages one will quickly realize that a good percent of women have nothing, absolutely nothing to offer a man. Let a woman be good in bed but lack the spirit of God in her, let her be good in bed but lack good manners, let her be good in bed but can't keep a home clean, let her be good in bed and isn't educated etc then she will learn in a hard way that when a man needs temporary pleasure, he will go to such a lady but when its time to make a home or build his future, he will soon realize that you are only good in one thing.

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I always feel insulted when I meet a man and after realising that am a calabar girl, the next best thing he will directly or indirectly ask is "so I heard calabar girls are very good in men, is it true?" I mean, that's degrading. It is an indirect way of him asking you, "so are you good in bed too?" Or "hey! I heard calabar girls are good in bed, let me try and see." All this turns a man's attention from your other good potentials to your body. Totally wrong!!!

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The sexual prowess of calabar ladies has soon become a stigma and no more a compliment. I can't even count what the so call tag "calabar girl" has caused me and how many opportunities I have walked out of since men suddenly try to get a taste of this lady, just because I have been identified as a calabar girl and as such they too want to see how true it is. But enough is enough!!! I Refuse to be tagged "that girl who should be very good in bed because she's a calabar girl" It is time to be tagged "the calabar girl who is very respectful, Godly, Educated, Homely, Wealthy, etc.

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