BEASTLY TALES

THE QUEENS CHOCOLATEER

Elmer Gantry didn’t allow any to think he was a “has been”.
His business card declared him “chocolateer to the Queen”.
There were no flies on Elmer, but you could see where they’ve been.
His extravagant claim was based on his tenure of employ,
Making confectionery for a self declared joy boy.
One Cecil Boudoir was owner of an “All Male Review” show,
A club that featured men in drag, on the go,
Yes, dancing cabaret, if you please,
And Cecil was right with them, though slightly obese.

Elmer’s business card was printed in gold,
To enhance the royal connotation, we’re told.
Folk reading his elegant card would assume,
That Elmer had practised his trade under royal patronage bloom!
Harbouring such misapprehension they’d think
“This chap should be employed on the spot, in a wink!”
Then, buying crates of Toblerone,
He would secrete himself, away on his own.
He would stamp the Toblerone, with GANTRY CHOCOLATES,
And repackage them on real silver plates.
The results of this nice little scam,
He would then resell, by the gram.

GANTRY CHOCOLATES became well known, in fame!
All the Upper Crust ordered this new name,
This new name in quality chocolate did inflame,
Not only their taste buds, but snobbishness too,
A most special luxury, right out of the blue!
“I say, Jenkins, better get some more!”
“This upper class chocolate, we do so adore!”
So dictated Sir Reginald Tosser.
As he swallowed more chocs, with the Gantry embosser.
“It should, by all, be clearly understood,”
“These chocolates are indeed, exceptionally good!”