BEASTLY TALES

THE KNIGHT

Sir Galahad and Sir Lancelot,
Jousted until they became very hot.
Removing their helmets to get some air,
One saw they had very limited hair,
Wearing heavy helmets on a daily basis,
Is hard, not only on hair, but also on faces
We should be happy that such fashion no longer prevails,
(As indeed we are that we no longer wear coats with tails).
Armour, Broadsword, Lance and Shield,
Weigh heavily on one in the battle field.
You certainly could be readily betting,
That there must have been lots of sweating.
Of course, sweat is salty, so you could trust,
That, from time to time, their armour would rust.
Knights were really at their very best,
When saving damsels, severely distressed.

We all know the story of Sir Godwin Gravy,
Who left the King’s Army to join the Navy.
He fell overboard, one fateful day,
And sank to the bottom in a most rapid way,
The principle of science that he did flout,
Leaves one in absolutely no doubt,
That knights should remain firmly land bound,
To avoid the ignominy of being thus drowned.

If one was to be a Knight of the Realm,
It was so important not to overwhelm,
The Ladies in Waiting in the Kings Court,
By showing off armour you’ve just bought.
Clanking about on the round dance floor,
Would have been the funniest sight you ever saw.
The battlefield was the place for armour,
The Kings Court dance floor the place for amour.

Knights lived, not at all like us,
But in a castle with a portcullis.
There a code of chivalry did prevail,
Such a code of conduct could not fail.
If two Knights argued really bad,
Satisfaction just had to be had.
Form dictated a swipe with a gauntlet glove,
Across the opposer’s face, with a shove,
But when wearing armour this is a noisy affair,
And only the boldest would ever dare.
Clunking and clanking is not well met,
As armoured gauntlet hits metal helmet.
And, if the swipe, was particularly hard,
The recipient could be knocked across the yard.
Broadswords were mostly weapon of choice.
Swords were really mightier than voice.
The saying is, “the pen is mightier than the sword”,
Strikes a somewhat unconvincing chord.