Who is BalThorSar

So this is my second go at a blog. Yes, I've tried this one before. It was a travelling-media-escapism-whatever blog. I basically tried to make myself look as educated and good as I could. So this time, I'll do something different. I found out two years, nah, two and a half years ago that I was suffering from a major depression, tried to cure it. And it appeared to had worked. Well, turns out it didn’t really. The depression hit again last year, I behaved like a dick and made the most important person in my life run out on me. She ran out and so far away that even after I've learned how to apologize without being back-handed about it, she couldn't hear me scream these apologies after her. And it was even greater that I was a couple thousand kilometres away from home, when she finally couldn't anymore.

So yes, this blog is going to be about everything that occupies my pan-fried brain, mostly things that come together, like travelling and diarrhea or depression and being left alone to feel miserable in isolation. Call it therapy if you will, I call it telling y'all who I really am.

So if you are offended by me sharing my stories, my experiences and especially my fuck-ups in a direct, profound and uncensored manner, or if you bring your children to read a blog as a bed-time story, a blog written by somebody telling you in the very first paragraph that they have been suffering from a depression … well, why would you do this?
Well, and because I chose to be up-front about it, I also chose to do as little editing as possible. I write what I think, and will go all Kerouac on y'all. I do not want to edit anything out, I do not want to get rid of my typos, I want to be as direct as possible. What I do want is to get better. As a human being, a man, a boyfriend, a traveller, a street-scholar. And I want to be honest with all of you. I do not speak English as a first language. I was tortured in school by English-teacher, beating grammar and vocabulary into my brain. Hated it. And started liking it the moment I was not forced to learn it anymore, but chose to learn it independently instead. So if you see any mistakes that nobody cares about because y'all know what I want to see, keep those to yourself. If you see anything that doesn't make any sense. Feel free to ask. I guess sometimes I'll come off as a dick on whatever this is going to be, but everybody tells me that I'm a great guy, funny and friendly. Only my girlfriend knows that I get loud and angry when I am terribly sad, so don't be afraid. As long as you're not romantically involved with me, there is no reason to be afraid ;)

So anyhow. I'm in my late twenties, studied different things at the university, have been travelling all throughout Europe, South- and North America and Israel. I've been in a ton of shitty situations and want to tell all of these. They will not be organized in an orderly fashion, they will be told based off whatever I just feel like, so I hope you like nonlinear narratives. I'll do my best to make every isolated situation clear and tangible. So forgive me, but for the first few months there will be a lot of cursing and me moaning and bitching at how much I fucked up this particular relationship, which I will be using to launch the individual stories. Makes sense? Great! So let's get to it.