Atschmerz (an original poem)

Atschmerz
Feeding a ghost that I've slaughtered before, clinging to hopes that I'll always need more, flush my sustenance down the drain, always chasing the midnight train, this soul in a prison a hero in chains, a life only worth blurred vision and pain, broken hearts sewn together with powder and glue, surrender the sanctum hour untrue, carrying a weight of a million and one, can't catch the dragon yet still I run, malcontent in my being I know it all well, I thirst and I question what's beyond the veil, a black rabbit turned white I dig and I dig, a ghost in a comatose soft satin wig, color my eyes with red and with black, take on a pseudonym and lose my way back, black out the lights in the house on the hill, leave one lit to burn on the sil, separation to cry a longing for love, found instead in the sly leper dove, somebody save me. Somebody come, somebody rescue this hero is done. Save all the feathers afloat in the air, but when it comes to my own I just do not care, feeding a ghost that I've loved once before. But I feed it once and it'll always want more