Polarized Poetry - Existential OCD

Hello again to anyone who may happen to see this...
How's it going? Good I hope!

I've finished another piece of art/spoken word poem/song thingy.
It has an interesting feel to it.

It's about some of my obsessive thoughts in regard to existential questions.
I've never been technically diagnosed, but, I do think I probably have some degree of existential OCD which is a real disorder.

The way I understand it is... It's a disorder where people try to sort of figure out the meaning of existence or related things obsessively or to the point it becomes a detriment.
And myself personally, I've tried to figure out what life means from a young age and I have to say that even though I've learned a ton, I still have no clue what all this means.

I also do have a few other forms of OCD which manifest in locking the door numerous times before bed or checking to see if its locked numerous times before leaving and washing my hands more than other people and not wanting to touch certain things other people find normal like door handles and such.

So... I really do think it's likely I have some amount of existential OCD as well since I have other forms of OCD and I obsess over trying to understand the potential meaning of existence so much.

This poem was not made to make light of the condition by any means, it was more an effort for me to explore this phenomena within myself.
My OCD is literally debilitating on a regular basis and for me this was a way to express certain things in a way that I found therapeutic. So, it was kind of like a form of healing for me to do this to then be able to reflect upon it.

Once again I just want to warn you that I'm no professional vocal word artist.
I don't know how to rap or sing and I basically am just speaking my poetry and putting music to it.

If you give it a listen I hope you find some kind of value as I think it's a bit unusual and not the kind of thing you would probably hear that often.
Anyways... That's about it for me for now, would love to hear any feedback if you have any and I hope things are going great for you!
<3

OH, PS. I will put the lyrics below for anyone who may not want to listen to the audio and also heres the link to the audio if you would like to listen.

Existential OCD

I'm trying to be more peaceful.
Though, when I witness injustice certain thoughts want to be expressed.
Where do they come from?
Who am I at the deepest depths?
Umm...
A description I use is that I'm an individual with heart and morality and an artist with feelings I want to express.

Though, who is that "I"? Who is the "one"?
Can you guess?
Ehh??
Not the brain, not the body, not the ego, when you remove everything else... What's left?
Can we freely come and go?
Or are we chained and kept?
Are we eternal or temporary or maybe both?
Mortality questioned, is this a test?
Take a deep breath.

Light from the sun.
Bacteria, water, air, earth, flesh and blood.
There's so many things we appear to consist of.
Existence we ingest.
Dreams hidden clutched.
Life is relentless.
And sometimes it looks like very few people care very much... But...
You're dodging... Back to you, who are you? Where are you located bruh...?
Is there even a word or a name or does language escape such?

Fuck.
I'm dumb.
I'm all the worst things, yet, also all the best and everything else, or maybe I'm not... I don't really know what.
I don't even know if I know anything.
I believe things.
However... Am I my beliefs?
And who is the "I" I keep referencing? Who looks in the mirror seeking me?
How about the.. Pineal gland?
Where do dreams come from when we sleep?

For real... Damn.
What do reflections see?
Like a dance.
Isn't it fascinating how they creep and reach?
Enlightening and deceiving.
Just like you keep bobbing and weaving, unable to answer the question it seems.
Except... Is it even possible to answer?
So many riddles that never leave.
Welcome to my existential OCD.