Willpower. The SKILL.

We all want it. Not all of us “have it.”

FOR NOW.

It’s so easy to beat ourselves up when our willpower “fails us.” It’s common to think that it’s because of personal weakness that we’re not able to resist temptation, even when it takes us away from the pursuit of our most important and valued goals.

What’s really important to understand here is that WILLPOWER IS A SKILL.

The belief that you either have it or you don’t is just not true. I don’t believe it’s an inherent strength, this ability you were lucky enough to be born with, or the talent you unfortunately lack.

Personality does play a part in this, sure - but I believe it only dictates the ease of learning rather than the natural presence or absence of the skill.

Just like tying your shoes, braiding your hair, or writing in cursive - you’re not born knowing how to do these things, but rather you learn. Trial and error is huge here, and finding the cues and techniques that make it easiest for you to progress toward mastery.

Would you tell a child that’s learning to tie their shoes that they’re weak because they weren’t able to yet? Actually, don’t answer that - I don’t want to open up a debate on parenting here. I’ll just tell you that I personally wouldn’t!

Some people catch on faster than others, I can agree with that… But everyone can arrive at a place of proficiency with practice and dedication.

Learning to strengthen your willpower requires hard work and strategies, like anything else. It takes time and effort, and it can be exasperating, but if you keep at it then it absolutely can be done.

Just like a muscle, the more you exercise your willpower it the stronger it gets. For example, when you first start working out, lifting light weights might be pretty darn tough for you. But you keep lifting those same weights, and you start to adapt - before you know it, those weights are super easy for you and you’ve graduated to bigger dumbbells and more advanced lifts.

The same goes for willpower - at first, resisting even the smallest temptation might be really hard, but the more times you practice making those same good choices, the easier they will become. And then, getting over those little everyday hurdles will seem so easy that you don’t even notice them anymore.

The enviable people with bulletproof willpower have developed their personal strategies well and are so accustomed to making the choices that are right for them that it has become second nature, and that’s what we’re going for!

Everyone’s strategies are different, and what is difficult to one person may be easy for another - these are important things to keep in mind when you’re finding your own way to having that strong willpower you desire. Because of these factors, comparing yourself to others isn’t always helpful - rather, borrow strategies from people that you respect and implement them in your own life to see if they’re a good fit for you.

If they are, awesome! Keep those little tips and tricks in your figurative toolbox - the more you have, the better equipped you’ll be to handle challenges.

If they’re not, no worries! Everyone is unique and needs different things, so scrap that idea and try another :) The strategies that work for you don’t make you better or worse than anyone else!

The important take away here is to just KEEP TRYING. I say the same thing to my clients all the time about their fitness. When times get tough, and you get super frustrated, it’s natural to want to quit. But just like in the gym, giving up doesn’t get you anywhere except farther away from your goals. And they’re goals you’ve chosen for a reason, right?

So give yourself some love, some gentle understanding, and if you fall, jump right on back up and keep swinging. Perseverance is the key to lasting change.

Today is a great time to start fortifying our willpower and accumulating helpful skills - what works best for you? :)

Please feel free to share your experiences and techniques - I think it’s a great opportunity for us to help each other!

I’d love a comment, upvote, or resteem if you enjoyed this :)

Thank you all for reading, and for your continued love, warmth, and support!