Marriage

The smoke from the coffee looked like ghosts arising from a sinister black hole.. Screaming at length for salvation.

Madan!

I snapped out of my momentary delusion and looked at a pair of concerned eyes. Eyes that I've been seeing since my birth, those very eyes that were witnesses to all my childhood days, my troubled teenage and my (what I'd like to call) successful adulthood. Aaah, the topic at hand, my mother called me over to her home because she wanted to talk about something "important".

Usually when your mother calls you over to her home, you begin to recollect all the sins you've committed. But she seemed happy. Something was wrong somewhere. And that's when she dropped the bomb.

"I want you to get married."

"What?! Why?"

"I'm getting old, and when I die there will be nobody to take care of you."(cue sentimental Indian background music).

"But Maa, I'm fine the way I am, I'm doing really well on my own!"

"No, you're not. I want to see my grandchildren before I die. And when I came over to your house the last time, I saw what a big mess it was. My back still hurts from all the cleaning I did that day."

"Maa, if you just want me to marry for getting a girl who cleans well, why don't I get married to a vacuum cleaner instead?"

"Vacuum cleaners don't give you kids. I'm not as dumb as you think I am Madan. I've found a girl who is well educated, is beautiful and is "Sanskaari" for you."

"So, I don't get a say in this?! I'm the one getting married Maa. I'm 27 for God's sake and I think I know how to make my decisions."

"I just want to see you happy beta."

"Maa, I'm happy the way I am. I don't think I'm ready to bring a girls into my life right now."

"Do as you please. Don't listen to your old mother." (classic emotional blackmailing technique used by mothers since 1950's.)

She set her face hard, and like every Indian son, I had to give in. So the preparations for my marriage began. She kept prattling about all the various things she would like to do for her "bahu".

Something told me life was gonna change forever. I took advices from all my married friends. Some were helpful, some were not. And finally the day when I'd walk to my gallows, I mean the "mandap" arrived. I was calm and cool. The time set for the marriage was 10 in the morning and the time was 9:45 already. I was in my ceremonial attire. These attires were so damn hot and made me feel so stiff that I felt like a robot.

The time was 9:55. A sudden panic ensues. The bride has vanished. I jumped and went to my room.... No, don't expect anything.. I just went to change. These clothes were making me sick.

THE PREVIOUS NIGHT.

I was on my bed, thinking of how my married life would be. And what I'd gotten myself into. The room was dark and everyone was asleep. It was 2 am when I got a text message from my future wife.

The next half hour was the most cherished time of my life. She loved another guy and was eloping with him. She told me her entire story and said that I was a nice person and she wanted to be friends with me. Wishing them luck I settled for a really peaceful sleep.

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Author's note- I'm not married, I'm just 17. All the ideas for the above story came into my mind when a cousin of mine faced this problem. He is still unmarried and is the coolest guy I've ever met. So this one's a tribute to you Madan bhaiyya!
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