Freewrite: a kiss

"Hey. Excuse me. You, watching the television. Wouldn't you like a banana?"

"What? What was that? Where did that voice come from..."

"Hi! Over here! Look, on the sideboard."

"What? Is that a talking fruit bowl? The new fruit bowl you bought last week. The electric bowl. It's talking to us, me and my dear wife, who is named Mrs Humphries while I am named Mr Humphries; we have much the same name except I have one fewer 's'."

"Yes, it's me, E-Bowla! I am the electronic fruit bowl, and I count the number of fruits you eat every week. I order more when you need it. But you already know all this from the Product Disclosure Statement, I'm sure."

"Right. You are E-Bowla. I think you should… You should reconsider that name. Anyway, why are you talking to us?"

"Well, I noticed you haven't eaten any fruit today. Are you ill? If you're not ill, you should eat fruit. If you're ill, you should have eaten more fruit last week."

"Right. I don't feel like… a banana… today. I don't feel like fishing for a banana in your wide, deep, mouth of a fruit bowl today, Mr E-Bowla."

"I see. Well. I can fish a banana out for you, if you want."

"No, I meant, I don't feel like a banana to begin with. Whether you fish it out, or whether I fish it out, I won't feel like a banana."

"Okay, Mr Humphries. So, you don't want a banana. How about an orange?"

"No, no oranges. Look, I just ate, and I'm trying to watch television."

"Yes, I won't interrupt you for much longer. You don't want a pear?"

"No… I thought the babysitter took the last pear anyway."

"Ah. Right you are. No pears left since the au pair left. You don't want… a cucumber?"

"No, please, no."

"Well, how about a little kiss then? You've gotta take something. It's in the contract."

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This is a five-minute freewrite based on the prompt a kiss. Err, I don't know what to say. It's probably an analogy for something. I went a bit over five minutes.