20 minute blog a day - breaking down the walls
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I’m dedicating this 20 minute blog a day to the concept of Love and my weird relationship with this emotion.
Today I had my first ever professional, private tarot reading. I’ve been practicing Tarot on my own for a long time, - I’ve had close friends who also work with cards and they have done readings for me but it’s a totally different experience when you get a reading from basically a stranger!
I don’t want this to turn into a raving all about @intuitivejakob - because believe me it could! He is just an amazing soul and truly has a wonderful gift! I’ll save my praise for later as the topic on my mind is pressing - but seriously go check him out if you haven’t already. He rocks!
His reading got me thinking about my inability to express Love. It’s a curious thing I’ve struggled with since I can remember. (There’s a multitude of reasons, experiences and twists of fate that made me the way I am so we’ll just leave that there for the sake of this blog.)
I love a ton. I have a huge heart - I’m generous and caring, honestly.
But when it comes to telling someone I love how I feel - I can never get the words out right.
I don’t read romance novels - ever. Chick flicks were never my thing. I’ll switch a love ballad off the radio quicker than country music and sappy scenes will ruin a good movie for me.
I’m a poet...or I consider myself to be one. I’ve written more poetry in my life than anything else. I couldn’t even tell you how many poems I’ve scribbled out over the last 15 years.. But you know what I can count? The number of lovey-ish “romantic” poems I wrote… 3. Yes, three.
Love is such a double edged sword.. Love too much and fear losing what you love. Love not enough and lose it anyway.. What a complicated aspect of life!
Love takes guts - it really does and in order to really have love you both have to be free - like equal pillars holding the roof.. John Hogue talked about this in a Youtube video once and after this reading with @intuitivejakob this visualization of true love came back to me. One pillar can be shorter, weaker, or unbalanced - the roof will cave. The pillars cannot hold the wieght of a large roof if they are intertwined in the middle. They need to be equal but separately standing in union - bearing equal distribution of the weight.
I’m gaining more insight and learning more about what it takes to make love work.
30 years old and I’m finally ready to break down these walls that I so carefully started building so many years ago. This 20 minutes is up and I must say this one was more of writing for myself than thinking of who will read it - but I hope if anyone does read it and their struggling like I am - I hope you find a bit of comfort in my words!
Hey @amariespeaks, thank you so much for sharing these subjects that are so close to you. It was an honor being asked to be your guide in this matter and I was so happy that you felt heard and assisted by what came through for you.
I think it's a fine time to be self-acknowledging in the most loving ways possible, especially now!
thank you again! I think I'll thank you indefinitely lol but seriously life changer!
I have some more feedback I'd love to share - I'll be in touch on telegram in a little while!
It takes some bravery to open up and give so much insight to your emotional battle with love.
Thank you for sharing, I'll be following so I can read more!
Thanks @hickorymack ! I'm hoping writing about myself can help me understand myself a little better :)
lovely blog, every post is awesome trot lovely words,, my pray are with you, best of luck my dear steemit freind,, amariespeaks
thank you @sami7780 I appreciate you taking the time to read my post and all your kind words you are truly lovely!
Wear that Scar with a smile,
You lived it.
Wear that pain with pride,
You loved it.
No, i know it is not fair....
Wait for the sunset,
It is going to be worth it.
-@noisyboy 😁
I was a hopeless romatic once.
Circumstances changes how we approach everything. Just do whatever that makes you happy and smile 😊
@noisyboy you are quite the poet! 😊 thank you for reading! you are right and I think I'm going to do exactly that 👍
From an old hippie who called me 'little brother' (if someone knows where this below, from, please comment, thank-you), @amariespeaks, I like to think that love is the measurement we use, from which our actions stem. 😂 Now you've got me digging into piles of old envelope notes. Today, a blog post, in poetry.
•
--''Face piles of trials with smiles, it riles them to believe that you perceive the webs they weave. Keep on feeling free.''
oh wow! those are some poetic and deep words right there. I don't know where they are from but I'm putting them in my quote book lol can't wait to see that blog post in poetry!
More old envelopes, as I re-sort, my papers. In any order not sorted or dated often. 1st.- ref: 1st on steemit. Not first written.
--When tasked with a decision, one manner in which to view, is to ask self; what would Love do here? I don't claim to sainthood, no matter my tongue-in-cheek initials, but I've grown accustomed to thinking one may give and receive, but never take. One is therefore appreciative and grateful for All that one receives, and is always keeping one's eye on the surrounding living, to see where one might better the day with a gift.
Keep on keeping on. 😇
you are a sage among men sir! lol but in all seriousness you are 100% right and I hope to live my life with those same values!
Now, that makes me happy¡ May your smiles go around the world! 😇
wow.. you are so good at how you do things!
I am the "Tag-Lifter" and you have been resteemed because your post is beautiful.
(source)
You have been resteemed as part of #newbieresteemday ... I made today my #newbieresteemday, and invite you and others to do the same. To learn more: Come Join Us!!! (Newbie Resteem Initiative)
so many thanks @ilovepoorpeople !!
my pleasure for a wonderful article like this! You write beautifully for sure!
aahh thanks! I'm honored - this is first draft, don't look back just type for 20 mins lol really appreciate the support @ilovepoorpeople
Wow @amariespeaks! Reading your post felt like you were reading my mail! This resonated ...
"I love a ton. I have a huge heart - I’m generous and caring, honestly.
But when it comes to telling someone I love how I feel - I can never get the words out right.
I don’t read romance novels - ever. Chick flicks were never my thing. I’ll switch a love ballad off the radio quicker than country music and sappy scenes will ruin a good movie for me."
That describes me and I am almost double your tender 30 years old! My reaction to the "L Word", I believe, is because it is so overused, abused, misused, seldom means the same to the "speaker" as it does to the "hearer", and the list can go on and on!
Dr. M. Scott Peck's "The Road Less Traveled, Timeless Edition: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth" is an amazing read! It was a huge help in deconstructing, demystifying and understanding Love and our fears around and through all of it!
Thank you for your honesty! Resteeming!
thank you @kismet2018 I will certainly check that book out. Sounds like something that can definitely help on my journey!
I'm so glad you can relate to my struggles and I agree with you the word love is so misused and construed it's no wonder so many of us have given up on it..
But I hope to unravel the misconceptions and expectations in my own heart even just little by little with posts like this and maybe help others along the wat, too. Thanks again for reading :)
Perhaps it would be best if we could learn to love to the point where we can let the subject of our love go, without falling to pieces. Very few people can achieve this. As for expressing it, our actions and interactions can speak volumes. Love is patient, kind, long suffering, keeps no record of wrongs .... very difficult to live up to these criteria!
Banksy :-D lovvit!
You remind me of a good friend I once had. Maybe still have, but she went silent on me. And with silence I can't fix things. I'm sure I'm the one making the mistake. But she also had a lot to deal with... And so did I at the time. Why am i saying this here...
Shake'm wake'm try not to brake'm ...unless there is no other way.
Then brake'm with style. The art of expression...
Society has build the walls, and it let you lay the bricks for them.
slavery.
Walls are not there to keep others from getting in they are there to keep you from getting out.
btw have a listen to this guys's music posts!!! :-O
the deeper stuff.... i'm sure you feel this too.
https://steemit.com/music/@seltzerjunkies/sounds-of-the-caribbean-soca-2017-recap-mix
I'm in a brain lock with you today.... hehe
roll it gal, roll it gal