It Was A Hell Of A Quarrel: Comedy Open Mic #35
I wouldn't say that I live in a tough neighborhood, but last night I had to take action when I witnessed horrible domestic violence.
I don't usually get involved. I mind my own business. But this was different: blood chilling screams, a vicious animal growling, a rough grappling, and the sound of body hitting body.
My do-nothing guilt climbed from the stress glands to my throat and into the back of my mouth. It tasted metallic. All of my insecurities surfaced, all of those times I felt helpless as a child...when I was too small to stand up for others...or even myself.
I screamed as if throwing a great weight from my chest, grabbed my slingshot and the black marble I keep for good luck, and swung out the window. In the tree nearest the house, I knocked a squirrel out of a nest (a rude collection of sticks and plastic Walmart shopping bags) and reloaded a second marble as it dropped heavily onto my patio below.
The other one it was fighting with scuttled off and I couldn't get a shot at it.
Thank you.
Hear ye! I nominate @por500bolos and @trumpman to enter this humor contest @comedyopenmic. Bring a spare pair of shoes.
Hi acolucky,
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)
Judges:
If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here
Thank you to @matytan for the great banner
haha, it was an act of a superhero eradicating evil everywhere, lol
Lol, yes, it looks like the second fighter is very lucky, haha
You need to hunt the other one down and strangle it.
Nice aim! Sounds like you got him squarrel on the chin.
Thank you for the nomination @acolucky. :)
But I'll have to evaluate first, if I have enough muses and time available as to be able to enter on this edition of the contest mate. Because to tell the truth, I suspect I'm not any good to make halloween themed Trick 'r Treat jokes. };)
No worries!
Please come to my house. Bring your slingshot. I will provide ammo and beer.
you sir.. are a brave one...respect