I open my eyes and I am standing inside the grounds of a huge estate.
"Are you okay?" S asks me, looking at me worriedly as I shake myself into this reality.
Nothing looks familiar, except for S who I have know my whole life.
"I'm fine," I tell her, trying to convince myself, as much as her. Yet nothing feels right here, if I had spider sense I would be tingling all over.
"Are you ready to go?"She asks.
I nod my head not wanting to speak, in case my voice shakes and it gives away how scared, I actually feel right now. Something really does not feel right, yet S looks as cool and collected as always. She usually has this way of making everyone around her feel at ease, but not today. Today I bite my tongue, just to stop myself from reacting to the voice inside my head, that is now screaming at me to get out of here.
Stay calm, stay calm, I tell myself.
I have no idea where I am going, so I just follow S. It is only now that I realize that I am carrying a bag on my back and that I am wearing what looks like yoga pants?
"Are you sure you are okay?" S asks me. "You are acting kind of weird, more weird than usual."
"I'm fine, just a little tired I guess, just trying to process everything that has happened."
"It was great though wasn't it? "S asks me, " I'm so glad you came along with me, I really feel like this has been such a huge life changing experience for us both."
"I guess so," I reply trying to look enthusiastic.
" Look there is Mary, we have to check in with her before we leave, remember?" S asks me.
Before I get to reply , she has already approached a woman, whom I assume to be Mary. They hug warmly and seem very friendly with one another.
"So you are both leaving us now I hear," says the woman.
"Yes we are," I say.
"Well before you go, we ask everyone to say this mantra, which helps to ground you before you leave the grounds. A lot of transformational work has happened over this weekend and we want to make sure everyone leaves here feeling grounded, before they return to the outside world."
S looks super excited about this and grasps Mary's hands in hers. "Of course". she says "that makes perfect sense."
"Well repeat after me."
Except I don't, I move my mouth as if I am speaking, but I make sure not to repeat what she is saying. Which is not too hard considering both S and Mary have their eyes closed and are still grasping one another's hands. I have never been so glad, to be invisible in my whole life.
Both me and S hug Mary goodbye and I am sure I feel her stiffened as I hug her. We break apart and she smiles at me.
"It was really nice to meet you, "she says in a way that makes her sound sincere, but I am not convinced.
Then me and S are heading towards the gate, I instantly feel relieved, like a huge weight has been lifted off me and now, now I can finally breathe.
I open the gate and step forward, ready to walk out into the world. But before I get through, I hear S scream behind me. I turn around and she has a look of pure terror on her face.
"What is it?" I say
"I can't move forward! I can't walk through the gate!"

This story came to me in a dream, so vivid and real just asking to be told. I am not sure how many parts it will take me to tell the whole of the story or if any of it will make sense. I would have liked to have written more, but my children need me so what happens next must wait. I hope you enjoy it! Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

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