Am I Such A Loner?
Over times I have heard about the need for human interaction as all humans need each other to survive. I believe in this theory, I do believe in human interactiveness with one another for survival but I'm not a fan of it.
Don't get me wrong I do interact with humans on a daily basis mostly my family, the Lady in the grocery store and yeah the cab driver but when it comes to becoming that intimate with humans in interaction, I'm not a fan of it. I could have loved to call myself a psychopath but after checking the meaning of a psychopath online, I definitely won't call myself a psychopath for I am not one. lol
I guess I possess the melancholy personality because I love being sad, I love locking myself in the room, being all alone and having these sad thoughts. Some times I picture sad events that didn't happen so that I can feel pain and cry. Don't give me that face, I already know I'm crazy so let's end it there.
Growing up as a child I love sitting alone, just me on my own, no friends and all. My mum notice this and she started touching my tummy (don't get me wrong as a child I don't love people placing their hands on my tummy once you do that I will chase you around and touch yours).
My mum does touching my tummy and I will be chasing around the house to touch her's back. Later she told me she was doing so to make me feel agile and fine because a friend of her's that do visit says I'm so quiet among my siblings. Like what's the big deal of me being quiet and alone? I guess her friend should have minded her business. lol
Right now I'm realizing childhood me is my destiny, what I'm born to become. I'm introvert right from the onset and always an introvert but I did break my fences for my family and put a bridge instead for them to reach to me but right now I think I'm building those fences back.
My sister came back yesterday and I did love talking to her(I mean we having our usual gists) but today just seem off she was boring me with her endless talk and I pretended to be listening. Right now as I'm writing this wishing to be all alone I can't because she won't give me a break. And it's no fault of her's, I'm just realizing that I am becoming childhood me, the one folks call a loner, I don't love opening and communicating that much with my family anymore I guess it's cause I have lot going through my mind that wants to swallow me or because I'm just loving being alone and not lonely as the world may see.
Why do I write this?
Hey, if you want to know it's because I have been going through writer's block for quite some time and I just needed to drop something to free my mind, body, and soul. And talking about loner me doesn't seem like the best way to but certainly a good way.
Am a hermit, am a loner. Yes there is time it sounds, feels, seems sad, but most of the time I prefer so, I like being with myself, less headache 😉