[Short Story] I'll check the headlines.

in #writing6 years ago


Where are my keys? I can't find them. They must be in my pants. Not those ones. The other ones. No. I didn't wear those yesterday. Check the living room. No. Oh, they're on my desk.

Do I have everything? Phone, wallet, keys check. It's pretty cold outside. I should wear my hat that's in my pocket. Maybe a scarf? No, it's too late. Cool. Oh, my friend didn't message me yet today. I need to stop checking my phone. Let's see the headlines.

Wow these are horrible. Everything sucks. Let's look at comments. Ha, that's similar to what I’m thinking. Fuck, it's cold outside. My nose stings. I should have worn a scarf. I don't want to deal with this shit, just let me die.

I need to stop checking the headlines. I agree with this one though. This is killing my attention span. Ha, that dog reminds me of my own. God damn I'm wasting my time on these shitty images. At least my stocks are doing well.

I spend far too much on lunch. $50 a week. Too much. Tomorrow I should pack a lunch. I should remodel my floors. I need to take the chandelier and sell it. I need to build up my savings. All I need to do is make $600,000 and I'll be good to leave. I will clean up the house first though. I will stop looking at headlines and accomplish everything I need to do at work. I am a lazy piece of shit. I don't call my parents enough and I will regret it when they are older.

All I need to do is be an entrepreneur. If I could find a good idea I could make a lot of money. Or I go into consulting. That would be a huge boost in pay. Just need to focus. Have a plan. Then I can empty out the debt, sell the house. I have a side project that can keep myself above the water in the mean time. Save every penny to get that emergency fund.

I hope my girlfriend is okay. I wish I could have a cat in my house so it wouldn't be so lonely. I don't pay enough attention to her. But I don't pay enough attention to anything.

I have to have a morning coffee. Maybe I will be able to focus. I eat far too much meat and I should cut down on my refined sugars.

Just gonna get started here after doing a quick skim of these headlines and sip my coffee. Fuck, I have too many problems. These are horrible. Where do I start? These are horrible. I'm bored now, let me skim these headlines.

Check my emails. Oh, someone needs my help, I hope I can help. Let me write.

No, no, no. I didn't phrase that right. I have to start over. I give up. Write again. Good enough. I hope that helps. Check my brokerage account. I'm still slowly going up.

No response yet. I don't know anything. I am being pinged. I forgot to follow up on this one. I am a failure, and a useless person. I'll respond now.

I know I can do better but I'm not. I can't finish any of my projects, but this new idea is better, so I should do it instead. I just read an entire paragraph but have no idea what I just read.

I don't care about any of this. Oh boy this is buggy. How do people bother doing things that are ultimately so trivial? This shit is just caffeinated candy. I need to stop reading these headlines. I'd rather be doing my own thing. My bank account is still doing pretty well.

These are great articles about my craft. I'm going to save them so I can read them at home later. Maybe I'll play Skyrim even though that game basically murdered me in university.

Do I even like anything anymore? I want to do bigger things. Write greater things. Inspire people. Help them be better. But I can't. As soon as I open my mouth I am wholly incoherent. I'm 5 steps ahead and only explained one.

Focus. Why can't I stop doing this? I've been on the same site for 10 damn years. I have replaced actually stimulating social contact with sending mildly amusing photos to my friends. I should network, but not online. Social media is utter brain poison. Bahaha, that photo is so me. One day I will just block everything and be done with it. But I need to reach out to people first, so I can't.

I can close this case today at least, so I don't feel like a failure. Why does time go so fast?

I want to crawl out of my skin. I need to do something. Leave everything, go to Mongolia, live off the land in a yurt. I'll take a walk for now. Maybe I'll have a good idea on this one. Get some Yerba Mate. I like this picture. Maybe I should say hello to my friend since I haven't seen her in a while. At least my stocks are doing well.

Well, I spent 1 hour deeply working on this problem but it's time to leave. Woo. 8 hours. I should just not keep myself stimulated and use it as time to decompress.

Cool that guy is waiting too, so I'm not late. Better get an image to send to my friend. Hah, this is perfect. I need to work on my job stuff again. If I save enough I won't have to deal with this stuff.

I hope my neighbor doesn't bug me today. Hah, great picture. I'll just sell the house in two years and I won't have to worry about it. Everything is so dry and I'm going to be shocked by the doorknobs and windows. I hope the bus driver heard me say "Thank you".

What do I want to eat today? I have so much food, and it doesn't matter. I hope my girlfriend has an idea. I feel like Chinese but I'm very flexible and it's likely too unhealthy. Maybe Mediterranean then.

I just can't deal with this. My girlfriend wants me to write a backstory for the character I will play in an RPG with her. I'll do that. I'll heat up food. I'll check the headlines. Nothing new in the news anymore.

Food was good. I need to buy filters for the water though. The water has so much lime and calcium you would swear you were drinking bag of dissolved tums.

Nothing new in the news anymore. Ah fuck. I forgot to write the backstory again. She's going to be mad. I'll have to look at the headlines again. Nothing new. Wow, what a bad video. I don't even want to watch this. I'll write a sentence. My desk and room are a mess like always and I can't stand it, but I it's my fault. This is so disgusting, so I will clean everything.

Well, it's too late to do anything now. Sleep is too important to my health, so I'm going to skip my nightly routine again. If I don't have sleep things will be even worse tomorrow. I don't want to be tired or I won't be able to do anything and I'll just end up mindlessly browsing crap again.

I can't sleep. Everything bothers me. I'm going to update my computer. This video sucks.

I'll have to fix everything tomorrow and be a better person and stop checking headlines and stop being lazy and focus. Or I am a failure. Let me check the headlines. Good night.

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Sadly this is past 7 days so I can't upvote.

First...

I know I can do better but I'm not. I can't finish any of my projects, but this new idea is better, so I should do it instead. I just read an entire paragraph but have no idea what I just read.

I nearly burst out laughing when I read that last sentence, because its unclear if it's commentary about the reader or about the author.

This entire post reads like a description of my life. ADHD paired with social media addiction and sleep deprivation. It's a vicious cycle of coming up with a million projects and aspirations, while having no time for anything. Utter madness.

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