Trust

nebi (52)in #writing • 7 years ago

Hi all,

This week I am going to redefine and live the word trust.

Here I am going to walk through the following:

Defining the word trust as I currently relate to it.
Redefining the word based on how I would like to live it practically.
Giving specific practical examples of how to live the new definition of the word.

Definition

These are the experiences, the points if you will, which form part of my current definition of the word trust:

I have fear come up when I think of trust
When it comes to trusting others, things or even myself I am already flooded with doubts in my mind coming up
I don’t want to trust anyone or anything. I am afraid that if I trust others or things in this world and reality, that it will come biting me in my ass eventually. So, I think and feel safer with the thought to not trust anyone or anything, to always doubt and second-guess and not do or commit to anything unless I have 100% proof and assurance that something is real and is not going to be consequential for ME and MY LIFE.
When I think of trust and trusting I feel immense anxiety in my solar plexus. It’s like I don’t even wanna go there to trust anything or anyone, any application or thing - it brings so much anxiety and fear up in me. Trust is like waters I don’t even want to dip my toe into to test it out.
I have heard and seen many stories of people's lives where when they trusted someone or something they got betrayed, or things didn’t turn out the way they wanted or expected it or were promised. They lost families, relationships, money and homes and even their dreams. This has developed my relationship to trust and the word trust to be based in fear and anxiety and with that a resistance towards it and living it.
I also think that I am unable to trust me. As if self-trust is this force in the universe that is just not meant for me, that it’s something that I myself could never be or do or have in myself and in my life. I feel more like a person that always second-guesses itself and lives in permanent fear and anxiety and concern regarding personal safety, protection and assurance in how I feel emotionally (emotional and mental well being) and that I am well taken care of in the world, in the system - that my inner and outer peace and survival is assured and taken care of.

My Redefinition

‘Faith’, assurance and certainty in self that I will do everything, with the tools I have available, the knowledge and understanding I have about a subject and things in life or a matter, or that I will obtain knowledge, understanding, skills, or other forms of support for me so that I will assist and support me to find a solution to a problem and issue in my personal life, like a challenge I face in my process, my mind, my programming, and the world. That I will not allow and accept myself to give up, to diminish myself and stay in a self-diminished state, but will support and assist me out of it - from all problems I face inside myself towards my process and life and the world and bring all problems inside me into solutions. I will be consistent and not allow and accept me to give up on myself and life. I understand that I build this ‘faith’ and certainty and assurance in self through consistent self-willed application and living of the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, real time change, redefining and living words, and so on; creating the ‘faith’ and certainty in myself through consistent day by day application and participation in my process, life and living of bringing forth and creating self-equality-and-oneness. I build this faith and assurance in me through being consistent in my application of always looking for solutions to problems and bringing problems to solutions inside myself and my life, process and reality.

Practical Examples of Living Trust

I am going to live trust the following way (Here I am giving contextual examples of how I will live the word trust. I will start off with one context and share more throughout the week in my updates on how I am doing with living trust):

Problems and Solutions Inside Self and In My Life

If I am stuck in an experience, or an emotional pattern that I feel overwhelmed by - let’s say this emotional pattern is fear of losing money and fear of survival, that instead of allowing myself to end up breaking down and staying in my emotional reactions of fear, anxiety, depression, wanting to give up and so on and then also take out my reactions onto others or in my behavior - I will remind me to ‘believe’ in myself, to have ‘faith’ in me and to take that stance in me of: I will find a solution to my problems. I will bring this problem I am facing inside myself, inside my mind or inside my life and reality to a solution. I will use the tools I have, that have proven to work already for 10 years (writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application, real time change, redefining and living words, self-honesty, breathing, etc.) to walk through the problem inside me, look for, find or CREATE FROM SCRATCH (if necessary) solutions and practical applications that I can live and apply to resolve the problems or issues I face inside me, my mind, my body and my life/reality. I will propel, I will T(H)RUST myself forward, by living self-will, to bring my problems inside me, my mind, my body and my life and reality to a SOLUTION.

You can learn more about the process of Redefining and Living Words and with that Redefining Yourself, Redefining who you are at:

Thank you!
Steem-On,
Nebi :)

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