Excellent post. Even though (or maybe because ...) the edited version is longer, it is much easier to read. It has a flow that is not always in the original.

When I clicked on your post, I actually expected to find some editing tips. But instead you gave this example of before and after, which is probably a better way of showing how to do more in-depth editing.

My editing strategy is probably similar to yours. I write something, then read it and make changes regarding phrasing or syntax or content. Then I might proofread it, which will lead me to make more major changes – just because something does not sound right or the text does not flow right.

Typically, I do that over and over again. For all intents and purposes, my writing style and editing strategy go hand in hand. One leads to the other which demands the other which then results in a need for the other.

Eventually, I reach a point where the writing is satisfactory, although maybe not perfect. Then I'll proofread one final time, so at least it "reads" perfect. Or at least I hope so.

Keep writing, and keep editing, keep creating content here on Steemit, and keep giving whatever advice you can to anyone on Steemit who may benefit from it.

Cheers!